Quinne just blogged about her divorce. This is a crazy year for relationships.
My parents are getting divorced.
My friend Sarah Jo is getting divorced.
My best friend and his girlfriend just broke up (after being more-on-than-off for twelve years).
One of my little sisters got married last month.
My friend Tiffany is getting married this year.
C'eleste is getting married this year.
Leslie is getting married this year.
Kim is getting married this year.
My girlfriend is moving in with me & my roommates this fall.
I think that as much commitment as I'm prepared for.
My parents are getting divorced.
My friend Sarah Jo is getting divorced.
My best friend and his girlfriend just broke up (after being more-on-than-off for twelve years).
One of my little sisters got married last month.
My friend Tiffany is getting married this year.
C'eleste is getting married this year.
Leslie is getting married this year.
Kim is getting married this year.
My girlfriend is moving in with me & my roommates this fall.
I think that as much commitment as I'm prepared for.
I'm walking around a room filled with tables. At each table, there is a person. Some people are getting attention; indeed, there are lines of people waiting to see them. Other people, at other tables, are looking neglected, or are drawing, or are both. I don't allow myself to make eye contact. I want to talk to them about their comics, but I can't. I don't know their work. I know four of the people, and there are lines at their tables. Of course there are--EVERYBODY knows THEM. Mike Mignola, Tim Sale, David Mack, Rob Liefeld. Rob Liefeld... is it worth it to stand in line to spit on someone? I decide not.
I'm walking around, outshone by the knowledge and confidence of all these comic book fans. I never knew how little I knew about comics until now. I was not worthy to pay the admission price but, generously, they took my money. And now I'm in so over my head. A glance to the left breaks my shoe-gaze, and it catches my eye: a tattoo, and one I know.
Her name is Lyxzen and Erica Danger, and she is tiny--a full foot shorter than I might have guessed. I've seen her naked; I've seen her six friends naked too, but this is the first time I've met them. Still embarrassed and shy, I shake their hands and we all introduce ourselves. I manage to compliment Lyxzen's tattoos, to let her know they're, I think, the coolest tattoos I've ever seen, and she shakes her ass, tells me she's wagging her tail because I've made her happy, and I'm soooo out of my element. I buy a DVD (which the girls all autograph, even though some of them were minors when the DVD came out; even though none of them are featured on it), a deck of cards, and I leave.
I return a moment later to ask if I might take a photo.
Soon after, I leave the Emerald City Comic Book Convention altogether.
I'm walking around, outshone by the knowledge and confidence of all these comic book fans. I never knew how little I knew about comics until now. I was not worthy to pay the admission price but, generously, they took my money. And now I'm in so over my head. A glance to the left breaks my shoe-gaze, and it catches my eye: a tattoo, and one I know.
Her name is Lyxzen and Erica Danger, and she is tiny--a full foot shorter than I might have guessed. I've seen her naked; I've seen her six friends naked too, but this is the first time I've met them. Still embarrassed and shy, I shake their hands and we all introduce ourselves. I manage to compliment Lyxzen's tattoos, to let her know they're, I think, the coolest tattoos I've ever seen, and she shakes her ass, tells me she's wagging her tail because I've made her happy, and I'm soooo out of my element. I buy a DVD (which the girls all autograph, even though some of them were minors when the DVD came out; even though none of them are featured on it), a deck of cards, and I leave.
I return a moment later to ask if I might take a photo.
Soon after, I leave the Emerald City Comic Book Convention altogether.
I have a toothache. I feel like it hurts quite a lot, like it hurts to swallow because even that small amount of suction pulls at it. But I wonder if it really does hurt all that much. I may just be noticing it because my roommate recently had an horrible toothache, which turned out to be an abscess, which became so infected that his face was greatly swollen, and once the infection was fought off with antibiotics, he had two teeth pulled and then stitches. His toothache has been a month-long ordeal so far, and he's still on painkillers.
So I wonder if this is really a negligible amount of pain, or if seeing what he's been through has just made me sensitive to it, focus on it. Even so, I am sensitive to it, focused on it, and therefore.... I woke up in a lot of pain this morning. It sucks, because I went to sleep with a really bad headache last night, thinking, "if my head doesn't hurt significantly less in the morning, I may have to call out from work!" And so I had the idea of calling out in my head, but my head hurts much less today. And if this toothache really is as bad as Josh's, I will be staying home from work, at least at some point. But I really just don't know if this is all in my head, or if I really am in such great pain.
I suppose I'll have to wake up (I just rolled out of bed, so I'm only half-awake) and wait, and see.
- -- --- ---- ----- ---- --- -- -
In other news, I finished reading Watchmen yesterday. I hadn't read it since 1996 or so.
Back in November/December/January, I read a piece on the movie, which didn't leave me too hopeful. The gist was, Zack Snyder saw them making a Watchmen movie and thought it looked horrible, so he stepped in with the attitude that it shouldn't be made into a movie, however if it was going to be then at least it should suck as little as possible.
I was pretty pleased with the movie, however now I've re-read the book, the best I can say for the movie is, it sucks less than it could have. But also, the movie could have been better, if he'd taken some liberties (okay, some MORE liberties; he really just sauced it up). It suffers like Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets movie suffered--by being too close to the book. Like a mugshot isn't a person, so these movies aren't their stories. They are two-dimensional representations of what you see on the surface.
Anyway.
So I wonder if this is really a negligible amount of pain, or if seeing what he's been through has just made me sensitive to it, focus on it. Even so, I am sensitive to it, focused on it, and therefore.... I woke up in a lot of pain this morning. It sucks, because I went to sleep with a really bad headache last night, thinking, "if my head doesn't hurt significantly less in the morning, I may have to call out from work!" And so I had the idea of calling out in my head, but my head hurts much less today. And if this toothache really is as bad as Josh's, I will be staying home from work, at least at some point. But I really just don't know if this is all in my head, or if I really am in such great pain.
I suppose I'll have to wake up (I just rolled out of bed, so I'm only half-awake) and wait, and see.
- -- --- ---- ----- ---- --- -- -
In other news, I finished reading Watchmen yesterday. I hadn't read it since 1996 or so.
Back in November/December/January, I read a piece on the movie, which didn't leave me too hopeful. The gist was, Zack Snyder saw them making a Watchmen movie and thought it looked horrible, so he stepped in with the attitude that it shouldn't be made into a movie, however if it was going to be then at least it should suck as little as possible.
I was pretty pleased with the movie, however now I've re-read the book, the best I can say for the movie is, it sucks less than it could have. But also, the movie could have been better, if he'd taken some liberties (okay, some MORE liberties; he really just sauced it up). It suffers like Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets movie suffered--by being too close to the book. Like a mugshot isn't a person, so these movies aren't their stories. They are two-dimensional representations of what you see on the surface.
Anyway.
My room's a fuckin' wreck, and I should be cleaning it. Also, I should be out buying a couple of things with my birthday money. Or bussing to the Magnolia library, where I've got things on home.
Really, what I should NOT be doing is sitting at home accomplishing nothing.
But guess what I'm doing?
- -- --- ---- ----- ---- --- -- -
Last night my best friend let me know he was coming out to Bellevue for work soon, and he'd have four days free. Of COURSE, I am going to be in Vermont for three of those days. So he let me know this morning that he's rescheduled. This means May will ROCK! Vermont, PLUS Michael!
- -- --- ---- ----- ---- --- -- -
I really have got nothing to say. Hurm.
Really, what I should NOT be doing is sitting at home accomplishing nothing.
But guess what I'm doing?
- -- --- ---- ----- ---- --- -- -
Last night my best friend let me know he was coming out to Bellevue for work soon, and he'd have four days free. Of COURSE, I am going to be in Vermont for three of those days. So he let me know this morning that he's rescheduled. This means May will ROCK! Vermont, PLUS Michael!
- -- --- ---- ----- ---- --- -- -
I really have got nothing to say. Hurm.
Woke up this morning to a phone call and a good conversation (although it was a bit one-sided; only at the end did I invite the other party to talk). Rolled out of bed, spent the past hour online.
Was thrilled to be told my set on Unida's new set was the nicest. I really do think it's the best set I've ever seen, and I've been here since new sets were bi-weekly. And on it, someone made the comment that "no tattoos are the new tattoo." I guess that's true--I at one point kept my membership going just to see new tattoos, but now the girls without them really stand out.
So I guess my membership here is about half done. I really like how, after my lapse, all my old blogs and pictures were still here. I may come back from time to time, just to revisit those things. I may not. Who knows?
- -- --- ---- ----- ---- --- -- -
So a few days ago, my girlfriend told me to smile. When I realized I hadn't been smiling, I wondered why. It's because I had totally slipped up and forgotten to be happy. I had to really wonder about that, since I cannot remember the last time I wasn't happy (okay, so it was a year and three weeks ago).
Anyway, by bringing this to my attention, my girlfriend reminded me of the line from Illusions, something like, "always ask yourself if this is what you want to do, and only do it when your answer is yes." I decided I needed to return to my old books, specifically Illusions and Siddhartha, which together act as my compass--whenever I feel like I'm losing my direction, they put me back on track.
I reread half of Illusions on my bus ride yesterday. It's helping. Yesterday was a really good day, as almost all days are. I'm almost there.
- -- --- ---- ----- ---- --- -- -
I'm listening to the new Minotaur Shock songs on MySpace, and they are awesome. I'm sorry I don't own the new CD. I'll have to look for it.
Somehow in the past few weeks, I've reigned in my spending. I never have extra money (although I always have "enough"). Maybe I can go out and find the MS album. Maybe I shouldn't get back into the habit of spending, though. I've got a lot of money I'll need to spend this year. I've got trips!
April--to Portland
May--to Vermont
June--to Wisconsin
August--to Burning Man
September--moving house + a wedding in Arizona
October--another wedding, in Tennessee
- -- --- ---- ----- ---- --- -- -
I saw the movie Redbelt, and it is amazing. It might be my #2 favorite movie, now. I need to keep it in mind at all times: it is a wonderful illustration of what can expect for not abandoning one's ideals in favor of an easier or less uncomfortable option.
Was thrilled to be told my set on Unida's new set was the nicest. I really do think it's the best set I've ever seen, and I've been here since new sets were bi-weekly. And on it, someone made the comment that "no tattoos are the new tattoo." I guess that's true--I at one point kept my membership going just to see new tattoos, but now the girls without them really stand out.
So I guess my membership here is about half done. I really like how, after my lapse, all my old blogs and pictures were still here. I may come back from time to time, just to revisit those things. I may not. Who knows?
- -- --- ---- ----- ---- --- -- -
So a few days ago, my girlfriend told me to smile. When I realized I hadn't been smiling, I wondered why. It's because I had totally slipped up and forgotten to be happy. I had to really wonder about that, since I cannot remember the last time I wasn't happy (okay, so it was a year and three weeks ago).
Anyway, by bringing this to my attention, my girlfriend reminded me of the line from Illusions, something like, "always ask yourself if this is what you want to do, and only do it when your answer is yes." I decided I needed to return to my old books, specifically Illusions and Siddhartha, which together act as my compass--whenever I feel like I'm losing my direction, they put me back on track.
I reread half of Illusions on my bus ride yesterday. It's helping. Yesterday was a really good day, as almost all days are. I'm almost there.
- -- --- ---- ----- ---- --- -- -
I'm listening to the new Minotaur Shock songs on MySpace, and they are awesome. I'm sorry I don't own the new CD. I'll have to look for it.
Somehow in the past few weeks, I've reigned in my spending. I never have extra money (although I always have "enough"). Maybe I can go out and find the MS album. Maybe I shouldn't get back into the habit of spending, though. I've got a lot of money I'll need to spend this year. I've got trips!
April--to Portland
May--to Vermont
June--to Wisconsin
August--to Burning Man
September--moving house + a wedding in Arizona
October--another wedding, in Tennessee
- -- --- ---- ----- ---- --- -- -
I saw the movie Redbelt, and it is amazing. It might be my #2 favorite movie, now. I need to keep it in mind at all times: it is a wonderful illustration of what can expect for not abandoning one's ideals in favor of an easier or less uncomfortable option.
It's been over six years since I joined SG? That's 20% of my life ago!
Truth be told, there's enough free nudity out there, and for quite a while I only kept my membership up for the tattoos. When I hit the road, I let the membership lapse, considering I had no internet (except for the public library, and I assume they'd frown on me browsing SG, there).
But now, some mysterious benefactor has renewed my membership. I have no idea who, I have no idea why.
But I'm here, at least for the next three months.
So, er, since that last update...
In Tucson: bored and jobless, squatting in a house my grandmother owned, my roommate and I got drunk and amused ourselves by joining a dating website.
Two weeks later, I was in love with a girl in Ogden, UT. Six weeks later I asked her to marry me. At year's end we would move to Portland.
But instead she panicked and made to move to Portland with someone else, without talking to me about it. She and her friend came thru Tucson on the roadtrip that was to end in Portland, and we talked it out. They left, but I couldn't let her leave. I borrowed cash, I made arrangements at work, and I flew to Seattle, arriving around the same time their roadtrip came through. We three had to share a bed.
Four days later, I had to return to Tucson. She had to drive down, since all she owned was in her car. She moved in to my squat, and the other guy took a bus back home.
Living together went all wrong. I live my life doing what signs tell me, but this time I told the signs to get stuffed. I had the girl, and that's all I wanted.
I lost my mind.
She moved out, and I took that to mean she didn't want to be with me.
Two weeks later, the signs told me to move to Seattle. I'd learned to follow the signs.
I live here now, with an old school friend and her boyfriend. I work in a bookstore, and I study, constantly working to understand the world.
I returned to Tucson for Xmas. I expected to fall in love with that girl all over again, now that I'd gotten my head on straight. There's still business to attend to, with her, but I realized that the more important girl in my life is here in WA.
When I returned from Tucson, she'd gotten herself a boyfriend. Someone from her past who'd purportedly changed his ways. I told her I loved her. She told me she loved me, but she couldn't leave him. It wouldn't be good, it wouldn't be fair.
Life's not fair.
And staying in a relationship for the wrong reasons isn't good.
And now I've got a girlfriend for the first time since 2005.
And, being careful to follow the signs life sends to me, I am learning so much, every day.
Truth be told, there's enough free nudity out there, and for quite a while I only kept my membership up for the tattoos. When I hit the road, I let the membership lapse, considering I had no internet (except for the public library, and I assume they'd frown on me browsing SG, there).
But now, some mysterious benefactor has renewed my membership. I have no idea who, I have no idea why.
But I'm here, at least for the next three months.
So, er, since that last update...
In Tucson: bored and jobless, squatting in a house my grandmother owned, my roommate and I got drunk and amused ourselves by joining a dating website.
Two weeks later, I was in love with a girl in Ogden, UT. Six weeks later I asked her to marry me. At year's end we would move to Portland.
But instead she panicked and made to move to Portland with someone else, without talking to me about it. She and her friend came thru Tucson on the roadtrip that was to end in Portland, and we talked it out. They left, but I couldn't let her leave. I borrowed cash, I made arrangements at work, and I flew to Seattle, arriving around the same time their roadtrip came through. We three had to share a bed.
Four days later, I had to return to Tucson. She had to drive down, since all she owned was in her car. She moved in to my squat, and the other guy took a bus back home.
Living together went all wrong. I live my life doing what signs tell me, but this time I told the signs to get stuffed. I had the girl, and that's all I wanted.
I lost my mind.
She moved out, and I took that to mean she didn't want to be with me.
Two weeks later, the signs told me to move to Seattle. I'd learned to follow the signs.
I live here now, with an old school friend and her boyfriend. I work in a bookstore, and I study, constantly working to understand the world.
I returned to Tucson for Xmas. I expected to fall in love with that girl all over again, now that I'd gotten my head on straight. There's still business to attend to, with her, but I realized that the more important girl in my life is here in WA.
When I returned from Tucson, she'd gotten herself a boyfriend. Someone from her past who'd purportedly changed his ways. I told her I loved her. She told me she loved me, but she couldn't leave him. It wouldn't be good, it wouldn't be fair.
Life's not fair.
And staying in a relationship for the wrong reasons isn't good.
And now I've got a girlfriend for the first time since 2005.
And, being careful to follow the signs life sends to me, I am learning so much, every day.
BFMJ, I have not updated since I left Murfreesboro?
Short recap:
left the boro
moved to Dickson
left TN
The Girl's dad died (back to TN)
left TN again
went to hawaii
went to Burning Man
now in Tucson, AZ
Have a nice day, because somebody reads this blog, ever.
Short recap:
left the boro
moved to Dickson
left TN
The Girl's dad died (back to TN)
left TN again
went to hawaii
went to Burning Man
now in Tucson, AZ
Have a nice day, because somebody reads this blog, ever.
So... weird. Our lease is up, and my two roommates are moving into a house, while I move "Out West." So they're taking the modem, now. I guess I'll catch you all later... except I won't. From now on, internet = public library, which I suppose means no SG. So... see ya.
Lame? A bit. Once SG finally noticed I'd canceled my membership (two weeks after the fact, about), here I am back again. I paid freaking $12 of my dwindling dollars, just so I could see the new Evette and Malloreigh sets. So I guess you've got me around a bit longer, folks.
You know, because anybody reads this blog at all.
[Edit: I just checked out Evette's newest set. $12 = well spent.]
You know, because anybody reads this blog at all.
[Edit: I just checked out Evette's newest set. $12 = well spent.]
Good bye, lovelies.
[Edit: so apparently SG loves me, and gladly hosts me for free... my membership should have ended days ago, but I'm still here...]
[Edit... okay, still here... although I'm not complaining, because I got to see the new Reagan set]
[Edit: so apparently SG loves me, and gladly hosts me for free... my membership should have ended days ago, but I'm still here...]
[Edit... okay, still here... although I'm not complaining, because I got to see the new Reagan set]
