BYE BYE!

It has beeeen a blast, SG.

Four years... hmmm...


yeah bye.

six days...

and Ill add this to my vitriolic goodbye:





Come hang with me on FaceBook... if you wanna be my buddy. Send me a message.... and Ill hook you up.

Goodbye SG.

I knew ye for a long long time.

I knew ye when you were cool, as well.

But now douchebags with no sense of humor and moderate to no intelligence are abound.


Good.


Fucking.


Bye.

Humans are fucking stupid. Make no mistake, my friends. Lock up your minds and daughters....

We are out of shit to sell.


(yes. laser guided scissors)

After a couple more good dates...

I am feeling teh awesome.

Y'know, my friends. Life is weird, but I've learned something valuable all over again. See, Dennis Leary once said:

"Happiness comes in small doses folks. It's a cigarette butt, or a chocolate chip cookie or a five second orgasm. You cum, you smoke the butt you eat the cookie you go to sleep wake up and go back to fucking work the next morning, THAT'S IT! End of fucking list!"

I agree with him wholeheartedly, always have, even though I didn't know what the fuck he meant the first time i heard it.

A friend of mine was lamenting the fact that she had to go back to work again the next day. There's been some terrible politics and she just doesn't look forward to work anymore. Fuck. Do ANY of us look forward to work anymore?

No. C'mon. Fuck it. Its work.

Feeling a desire to comfort her, I pointed out the fact that she has a thirty minute bike ride across Vancouver to get there every morning, and ditto back.... and I know how much that means to her. LOVES her bike, she does. But if she spent that bike ride totally dreading going to work, then isn't the point of bike ride completely destroyed?

So i told her to take an extra ten minutes and ride slow. Enjoy that fucking bike ride.

I mean, none of this is new. Stop and smell the roses and all that. However, in this day and age where most of our parents neglected to be parents, and meaningless mottos and cliche fill our lives, it's important to realize that these lessons are important and integral to our survival and happiness.

I think of myself as a hurricane. A big ol' blustery storm that flies around changing the word around him for better or worse. But I got this calm centre, see, and whatever it is that I do when I'm awake in the day that makes me go and recharge in that calm centre, I fucking pay attention to. Enjoy it. Relish it.

And for the love of all things, I try and do it as much as possible.

So. Yeah. Life isn't sad. You just forget to pay attention when you do the things that make you happy.



So fucking stop it and enjoy.

I had a KILLER date last night.



Beer and cereal. A long walk. A beach. A ringing payphone.


Oooh... and a kiss.

Whats a boy to do?

Heres the scoop. I fairly recently broke up with my girlfriend. We weren't doing so well (and theres a lot to that story) but whatevs. We love and care a lot about each other, but that extends to knowing that we shouldn't be together. Thats the Reader's Digest version of the sitch.

Anyways... so yesterday. Her cat of thirteen years dies in her arms. Her best friend who has been through it all with her. Her soulmate. It wasn't "just a cat" as all of her friends were saying. No one else really understands how much of a blow that is to her except me, and when I found out, I called her immediately even though we haven't spoken in weeks. I went over to her house to give her a hug and was met with a huge embrace and tears and yeah. It was, in the end, SO great to see her, despite the extremely sad circumstances. Shes MY best friend, y'know?

So later that night... she called me and asked me to come over and keep her company. She didn't want to be alone. She was drunk. Blah blah blah. She wanted me to be there for her. So I came immediately.

Like I said... she means the world to me. I'd cut my right arm off if she needed the flesh, y'know?

When I got there, instead of just letting things be and letting me just be there for her, she started in on the same old crap. "this doesn't mean we're back together. We don't work as a couple. Get your act together. I'm better off by myself." I was really hurt by all that, like I had some secondary motive for being there other than trying to console her through a tough time. She called me, for crying out loud.

I felt like I was being punished for just trying being her friend.

One of you fine friends knows the full story behind this and know that me giving us some space has nothing to do with me still being in love with her. Its a hard situation made harder by the fact that someone I really care about isn't giving me the benefit of the doubt. She isn't giving me any respect for my side of the situation or for the fact that I know what the changes I need to make are and that I actually am moving on with my life in a positive way to make them happen.

And that has nothing to do with wanting to be with her.

I'm making the changes for me. It's not like I'm going to hand her a checklist and say "look at these changes you think I should make. I've made them, now. Will you date me again?" Thats fucking ridiculous and makes me feel pretty shitty that she seems to think that of me.

I just don't know how to get that through to her and until I do... its going to be very hard to be friends with her.


And that makes me really, really sad.


I hope she's okay today.

Welll hello again.

Hey things are good. I cant complain... too much.

Its been a crazy CRAZY year and Ive learned some hard (and not so hard) lessons.

Just.. hangin around every once and a while...

So many things to say, but none of them seem right here.

Meh.

Yet another... useless update.