Sometimes, it's horrible when you're right. Selfishness is a surprising blessing at times. For other people, I've always believed in number 1. At times, this can be a fantastic and rewarding philosophy. Unfortunately, of late, it appears that being completely selfish is the rewarding path. I cannot do this. I don't know how to do that. I must look after me. If someone else comes into my life, I will look after them but it would appear that it is only if it rewards me somehow. Selfishness kicks in big style.This is all building back to the "Why am I alone" buzz. It's been something I've been on for far too long at this stage. I've tried everything I can think of at this stage. I've been talking to people who have it sorted and who should write a book (or at least tell me how) but won't. I'm not a hideous human being. I am not moronic. I am not a waster. But that means nothing. I feel so low
irelandvixen:
DOnt feel low doll! its tough out there! I know! I have been through some real crap in my life and my suposed relationship! I am the least selfish person i know but it leave it open to the people I care about being selfish about themselves and completely walking all over me! Not caring if they hurt me or my feelings! Life is a stupid endless circle of crap and pain! But its the good things that keep us going and there is always good somewhere to be found! Something even small can make a huge difference! Talking to a friend, a walk in the park it helps a bit it doesnt make the problem go away but it just makes it seem less important! I have had to learn not to let the things people do hurt me so much! its so hard! But i think i am doing quite well and i am thinking of my future and looking out for me for the first time in ages! instead of putting everyone before me! Keep your chin up you seem like a good guy things will have to get better! I hope to get to know you better but please dont let anyone bring you down! much love-ireland