So my parents are getting divorced. Its the terror of the internet age, makes it easy to stay in touch but way way too easy get caught.

My mother, silly girl that she is, sent a number of nude photos of herself to a "friend" .. from the email address she shares with my father. But thats ok, she deleted them as soon as she sent them .. not realizing that this just shoves them into the trash folder .. where my father found them along with a number of replies from the guy describing in detail how stiff they were making him. Turns out she has been sleeping with him off and on for months.

It has totally freaked me because i grew up in what i thought was a totally happy family, with parents who loved each other. I'm trying not to hate my mother but its hard as my dad is currently in pieces.

As a result of this I've started smoking again.


On a happier though slightly weird note, ever since this happened I have been unbearably horny. Any theories as to why??

kisses xxx

wooeee Im back finally ... apologies for any ignored msgs or anything but I have spent most of the last 2 weeks laid up with a bug which forced me to lie in bed feeling like death and have only just started pottering about like some pathetic .. thing.

I know it has probably looked like I have been on line continually for about 2 weeks, but thats because I can never be bothered to log off hehe

Anyway, I know my legion of fans (!) must be dying to hear how I got on with my two issues, viz.. smoking and working. Well, the illness worked in my favour for both of them. being bed bound weaned me off the patches (as I couldn't get my shit together enough to buy any) so now its something like a month without a smoke and it has been pretty much the easiest thing I have ever done, so guys .. patches is the way forward but don't believe it when they (i.e. the patch manufacturers) tell you that you need to wear their patches for 10 weeks. Yeah right, frankly if you can go 3 weeks without a cigarette, stopping the patches will not be a problem. Oooh and because you tend to wear the patches over night too, you have the most amazing dreams which I am really missing now

And no work either, missed two vague interviews cos I was too ill so all is good in my world! Yay!

The clocks go back tonight in the UK, thus plunging us into primordial darkness until the spring. I am stocking up on comfort food and dvds and I intend to go into full time hibernation in my wardrobe in amongst the spare duvets and pillows. i will to all intents and purposes slow down my bodily functions so much that I will be clinically dead; only the Haagen Dazs drip in my arm will give any onlookers a clue that I am still a fully functioning human being. I may enter blogs/comments/messages on here but only at a rate of one letter every 3 days.

In march I will emerge, bleary eyed but svelte, into the sunny morn and will totally freak out at the realisation that I have given birth to two baby polar bears and now need to feed them by smashing through the ice floes to get to seal cubs.

Or something.

Buh bye xoxoxox

Not a lot happening, just wanted to say that although as a rule I HATE chat programs and IRC stuff I love IMVU cos like every little girl I love dressing up, so if anyone else is ever on there give me a shout and say you are from SG and I will chat with you... I'm called Riz on there...

My avatar only looks a teeny bit like me lol

Ok this is the week where I try to get motivated.

I'm still not smoking (yay!) so really I should feel full of energy & get-up-and-go. But I don't - its probably the drugs.

I'm in a very lucky position ... my life at the moment is quite nice because I am taking a year off before (possibly) going to Uni. I am SUPPOSED to be working during this year to give me a bit of ker-ching to tide me over during my poor, deprived student days. But I'm not - and its not my fault - my dad keeps giving me money which I then spend on drink, drugs and lap dances. He's sorted me a flat and pays the rent on it so I can get a bit of independence but I still take all my clothes home to be washed and go there for dinner. He bought me a car too. He LOVES me

But all this doesn't make me motivated to actually get work, it makes me motivated to sit on my fat arse all day playing with my playstation or playing with my cunt and although i would like to do either of these two things for a living I think some temping or barwork or something mite be a teeny bit more sensible.

I'm going to try (I really am) .. I am gonna slurp lotsa redbull and hit the streets looking for work - watch me go!

(this is all insane monday morning optimism, I will probably get as far as the nearest pub and then get ratted and throw up and that'll be that. BUT I'M TRYING!!! )

Life is all going a bit weird at the moment! I'm still not smoking btw although I am getting seriously addicted to the patches!

Main development in my life at the moment is a bit of a new relationship. It is a little scary - it shouldn't be but it is. I've always seen myself as bisexual but my feeling has always been that I have relationships with men and one night liaisons with girls. However my new relationship is with a girl, and it is turning into an actual relationship. I suppose the question is whether I kind of go public with this relationship and get grief from parents etc or do I keep it quiet. It is getting an important point to consider as I am falling in love a little bit ..

I know it shouldn't be an issue and I should just say FUCK IT and not worry about anyone else's opinion but in real life it ain't always that easy ....

I need a smoke ....

It had to happen --- I have decided to give up cigarettes. (I was going to say I was giving up fags but thought - probably too many Americans on this site and don't wanna cause any confusion). Its not cos of the health thing, its not cos of the money thing - its cos in England you are now a LEPER and a SCUMBAG if you dare to smoke anywhere other than in an old coal bunker in an unlit basement in your own house and THEN only if you have an extractor fan down there. What is the point of smoking if you can't do it when you are drinking in a bar pub or club??

SO ... today is my first day with a nicotine patch tingling on my arm. The patch gives you the equivalent of 60 Marlboro Lites over a 24 hour period which for me is about right. And so far, so good. Feel like I had my last smoke about 20 mins ago ... i.e. I vaguely want another one but haven't got to the crawling up the walls bit yet.

The only thing that is gonna let me down here is that I LOVE SMOKING!! So any and all messages of support and/or encouragement will be very welcome, thanx y'all xxx

Hey hey hey here we go, new to the site and LOVING it, full of hugely sexy pics, lovely people and just so much cool kewl stuff I can hardly bear it! Hopefully make loadsa friends on here, so go on be my mate!

Just one quick blog type ramble to put on here. Do you ever have nights out that turn out TOTALLY different from how you expected? Happens to me every bloody time. Let me give you two examples. Last week, I went out to celebrate a friends birfday - was supposed to be a major PISS UP but I ended up talking about spirituality with a stranger for several hours while sipping white wine in a classy bar. Nothing wrong with that but just not what I'd been looking forward to.

On the other hand, last Friday night I was planning a sophisticated night out in London, nice restaurant, classy bar etc etc. Ended up drinking Tequila all night, vomiting outside Westminster Abbey (yep, classy girl ) before being helped home by a male acquaintance who realised that I was too drunk to walk but didn't realise that I was sober enough to notice the way his hands kept on "accidentally" grabbing my tits. Nice.

One of these days everything will go according to plan which would probably be the first time in my life anything has

heyho