I have absolutely no idea why I'm still awake! But I think I like the nighttime, because it's quieter and more peaceful. There's a sort of zen about this time, where you're left alone with just your thoughts. By the way, I hope to get some real pics of myself in the near future. I don't have a webcam on my desktop, so I'm going to have to use my tablet and figure out how to get a good one. I promise though... no duck face in the mirror, like I'm some pouty teenage girl or something! lol

Oh, and a haiku:

Oh, Suicide Girls,
Why must you tease me so much?
Never had a chance.

Ugh... I hate being sick. I've had a lot of upper respiratory problems the last couple of weeks. Either it's in my lungs, but not my nose and throat, or it's in my throat, but not my lungs or nose, or else it's in my nose, but not my throat or lungs... so between that and some wisdom teeth problems, I've been cranky lately.

BUT!

Not all is bad. Sure, I'm sick, which really sucks, but I've been having a lot of fun with my two gaming groups. Yay D&D nerds! And I've got a couple of new characters on my mirc RP game that I play, so that's been fun too. Which is kinda sad because last night I had an epiphany that my life is almost completely lacking in any sort of action or adventure. I'm fighting a constant state of ennui, but I shall NOT let it prevail!!

So... life... it is what it is... I'm starting to take a negative view towards life in general these days. I'm stuck in a rut, and I don't think I'm going to be able to get out of it. Due to my felony, and lack of any real training, getting a job is next to impossible, so that makes things really difficult. On top of that, I'm starting to think that I have some real issues... I'm not normally an overtly sexual person, but sometimes I just catch myself thinking, "God, I NEED to FUCK someone!!!" It's weird and out of the blue, but my hormones just spike all of a sudden, and catch me for a surprise... unfortunately, being single, a bit reclusive, and jobless, I have very little chance of finding a girlfriend either. I try to stay positive, but the plain and simple fact is, I just really don't know any single women, at least not locally. Having my driver's license suspended, on top of everything else, is just the icing on the cake. Sometimes, I wonder if it's okay just to accept the fact that you feel flat out fucked, and not in a good way... If I could at least find a job, I could start the long slow climb out, but... FML /emo-rage

So, life continues on. No matter what happens, life continues. To be honest, I find it oddly comforting in a way, that no matter how bad things seem, the world doesn't just stop to mourn. Yeah... I'm definitely in a strange mood today...

So, it's official... I now hate my own home state of Texas. I got a few traffic tickets for non-moving violations, and now they're hitting me with fees, which are more than the tickets themselves. I have to pay it all back just to get my driver's license, but it's going to be about $4200 in total... which is stupidly ridiculous, but what choice do I really have?? They're holding my license hostage, and if I get a third "driving on a suspended license" ticket, it could become a felony. This here is some Class A Bullshit...

I'm a guy. I'm overweight, I wear glasses, I love D&D and WoW. I'm single, but you know what? I don't care!!! I'll find a girl who likes me for me. I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I'm not!

Alright, so evidently Angry Birds is a LOT more addictive than I thought. I recently installed it on my tablet and I'll find myself playing it at random, right in the middle of other stuff. I blame a bit of ADD for that. But it's fun and I'll keep committing genocide on piggies until I complete the game!

Alright, so I'm awake now... Got a house full of people who don't seem to appreciate proper morning etiquette, namely that of quiet. Ah well. For some reason, waking up in an empty bed was particularly depressing today. I still don't think I NEED anyone to "complete" me, but I do think I AM starting to get a bit lonely. Perhaps being single for almost two years is long enough...

First Blog here. Just started my account a day or two ago. I'm sort of odd, in that I don't want any tattoos or piercings of my own, but I LOVE girls who have tats, piercings, dyed hair... all that fun stuff. And I've been getting regular previews on my Facebook, so I figured, what the hell, why not? And so now, I'm part of the Suicide Girls community, for better or for worse.