Wow... so tough decisions make us into tougher people. At this point I feel like a flea in a torrential sea. But it's not a loss of control -- just an understanding I'm reaching.
To say the least, I'm not going to be staying at my job. I still have a few days to think about it.. but there's so much shit I could say about my boss. He needs to hear it, I need to accept it, and life must move on.No more holding myself back for other people's sake.
Also -- this whole waiting to find out if something terrible is happening to me... just gives me another reason not to hold back. Even if I'm not going to die or anything: everything is different.
I just hope I feel this way tomorrow. And all the other days after this one. Cause I'm sick of just bitching about it.
People are weak and pathetic slops of waste. We let shit happen to ourselves and we let ourselves get run down by shit. Fuck that. Half you people aren't even worth looking at.
To say the least, I'm not going to be staying at my job. I still have a few days to think about it.. but there's so much shit I could say about my boss. He needs to hear it, I need to accept it, and life must move on.No more holding myself back for other people's sake.
Also -- this whole waiting to find out if something terrible is happening to me... just gives me another reason not to hold back. Even if I'm not going to die or anything: everything is different.
I just hope I feel this way tomorrow. And all the other days after this one. Cause I'm sick of just bitching about it.
People are weak and pathetic slops of waste. We let shit happen to ourselves and we let ourselves get run down by shit. Fuck that. Half you people aren't even worth looking at.
Late Friday night I'm online and thinking of going to bed.. a little tired and stressed out from all the latest happenings. Nothing out of the ordinary.
So normal that I'm just chatting on MSN with a couple friends. I was talking with an old school chum about how things are going.. health, work, and all that. I tell him a little of my current concerns regarding health stuff and I start to get into work things. I tell him how I'm not entirely satisfied with my current job, how another opportunity has presented itself the night before and that I might take it -- when I realize it's not who I thought it was. "That's disappointing to here," pops up on my screen and tips me off to who I'm really talking to... my boss!
So I did what I could to smooth things over so I still have a job come Monday. However, I'm still rhuminating on the situation... it's true that I do want to leave my job eventually and start freelancing. I think it's the only way I'm going to be able to move my career ahead at the pace I want it to go. This opportunity is for a contract that could land me enough money to do that -- problem is I don't have enough money to back me up should I not get the contract.
So while risky (and trust me, I've taken plenty of risks in the past) and exciting, I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that I should smooth this over on Monday and play it safe by bringing in this contract to the company. I'll talk with my contact beforehand to ensure that I keep the client if I walk away from my job... but this way I'll at least get commissions on it, plus the paycheques. Then in a couple more months when I have enough saved up and another contract comes along, I'll have the backing to walk away and set out on my own.
Sound about right?
Anyway... so many hard decisions have just come up in the last week. It's pretty amazing how life can be like that.
So normal that I'm just chatting on MSN with a couple friends. I was talking with an old school chum about how things are going.. health, work, and all that. I tell him a little of my current concerns regarding health stuff and I start to get into work things. I tell him how I'm not entirely satisfied with my current job, how another opportunity has presented itself the night before and that I might take it -- when I realize it's not who I thought it was. "That's disappointing to here," pops up on my screen and tips me off to who I'm really talking to... my boss!
So I did what I could to smooth things over so I still have a job come Monday. However, I'm still rhuminating on the situation... it's true that I do want to leave my job eventually and start freelancing. I think it's the only way I'm going to be able to move my career ahead at the pace I want it to go. This opportunity is for a contract that could land me enough money to do that -- problem is I don't have enough money to back me up should I not get the contract.
So while risky (and trust me, I've taken plenty of risks in the past) and exciting, I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that I should smooth this over on Monday and play it safe by bringing in this contract to the company. I'll talk with my contact beforehand to ensure that I keep the client if I walk away from my job... but this way I'll at least get commissions on it, plus the paycheques. Then in a couple more months when I have enough saved up and another contract comes along, I'll have the backing to walk away and set out on my own.
Sound about right?
Anyway... so many hard decisions have just come up in the last week. It's pretty amazing how life can be like that.
Well I saw the Yeah Yeah Yeahs last night.
zomg.
They know how to rock.
I haven't been to a show that good in a while. It was phenomenal.
zomg.
They know how to rock.
I haven't been to a show that good in a while. It was phenomenal.
Well the interview at Trapeze went good. I was surprisingly not really that excited about it to be honest. For some reason, I didn't really care... but I was a little nervous skipping out of work for an extended lunch break to do this interview.
I did become excited more and more though during the interview. I was at first wowed a bit by their offices. Then after the initial tenure with that interview awkwardness, we moved on to talking about their projects, my skills, and all the good stuff. By the time I left, I really wanted to job -- and I think I nailed it.
We shall see in the ensuing days to come.
Anyway, to get some early summer vibes, I'm going out tonight to see some reggae bands and chill.
Someone surprise me with a secret you would never tell anyone in the whole world.
I did become excited more and more though during the interview. I was at first wowed a bit by their offices. Then after the initial tenure with that interview awkwardness, we moved on to talking about their projects, my skills, and all the good stuff. By the time I left, I really wanted to job -- and I think I nailed it.
We shall see in the ensuing days to come.
Anyway, to get some early summer vibes, I'm going out tonight to see some reggae bands and chill.
Someone surprise me with a secret you would never tell anyone in the whole world.
Well... first new job interview tomorrow with Trapeze Studios... wish me luck. They seem like a cool gang. Lots of A-list clients in the portfolio and it appears like the CEO gets his hands dirty and does good things. We'll see what it's like.
I just want to be around people who are passionate about the work they do. I'd also like to be around people who are competent about the work they do. Don't get me wrong, many people in the company I work for now are absolutely brilliant -- but management lacks experience in certain areas the company is becoming more involved in... and instead of giving the experts the reigns... well I've probably bitched about this before.
Anyway, I totally got interviewed for some small tv spot yesterday. I was out buying some new yarn (yes -- I got into knitting somehow) at a small cafe (called of all things, "The Knit Cafe") when I was accosted by a young lady with far too much make-up and her camera crew. She claimed I was everything she needed -- how could I say no?
Anyway, to give you context, I just rode my bike hard from work. I rode fast and hard because somehow the weather got really cold really fast during the day and I was only wearing bike shorts and a spring jacket. So when I did the interview, I was probably red in the face and sweating a little. I was freezing cold, wanted to buy some yarn, and go home.
Well... it was fun.
And the yarn I bought? Amazing. Hand-spun by an artisan co-operative in Uruguay to give rural women support and opportunities. Very earthy and neat stuff. I hope it'll make a nice scarf for someone I like.
Anyway -- that's all for now. I hope you are doing well!
I just want to be around people who are passionate about the work they do. I'd also like to be around people who are competent about the work they do. Don't get me wrong, many people in the company I work for now are absolutely brilliant -- but management lacks experience in certain areas the company is becoming more involved in... and instead of giving the experts the reigns... well I've probably bitched about this before.
Anyway, I totally got interviewed for some small tv spot yesterday. I was out buying some new yarn (yes -- I got into knitting somehow) at a small cafe (called of all things, "The Knit Cafe") when I was accosted by a young lady with far too much make-up and her camera crew. She claimed I was everything she needed -- how could I say no?
Anyway, to give you context, I just rode my bike hard from work. I rode fast and hard because somehow the weather got really cold really fast during the day and I was only wearing bike shorts and a spring jacket. So when I did the interview, I was probably red in the face and sweating a little. I was freezing cold, wanted to buy some yarn, and go home.
Well... it was fun.
And the yarn I bought? Amazing. Hand-spun by an artisan co-operative in Uruguay to give rural women support and opportunities. Very earthy and neat stuff. I hope it'll make a nice scarf for someone I like.
Anyway -- that's all for now. I hope you are doing well!
I did it!!!
My website is finally up (since sometime last night I guess). After much procrastination and deliberation... I can finally chill out about it and get to writing, posting, linking, sharing, and all the other goodness having a website can bring. Yay!
In other news, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs concert is nearing and still I am without tickets. Please -- for the love/hate/ambivilance of christ, bhudda, vishnu, or whoever -- if someone has tickets to the toronto show or knows someone who has them... and you/they are willing to part with them for a fair sum; hesitate not to email/IM/contact me!!!!
I might starve to death from mourning if I don't get to see this show.
Anyway.. I also bought new bike parts in preparation for the inevitable summer. I can't wait to stop taking the dreary metro.
Well.. enough is enough and I need to eat as much as I can before the big disappointment...
My website is finally up (since sometime last night I guess). After much procrastination and deliberation... I can finally chill out about it and get to writing, posting, linking, sharing, and all the other goodness having a website can bring. Yay!
In other news, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs concert is nearing and still I am without tickets. Please -- for the love/hate/ambivilance of christ, bhudda, vishnu, or whoever -- if someone has tickets to the toronto show or knows someone who has them... and you/they are willing to part with them for a fair sum; hesitate not to email/IM/contact me!!!!
I might starve to death from mourning if I don't get to see this show.
Anyway.. I also bought new bike parts in preparation for the inevitable summer. I can't wait to stop taking the dreary metro.
Well.. enough is enough and I need to eat as much as I can before the big disappointment...
New friend Lucy! Yay!
Nothing horribly exciting has been happening lately. The only possible exception is that I'm pretty set on finding a new opportunity. My current job is nice and all, but I want something more. I want to do more and get paid more. Instead of adding a few sentences here, a new button to such and such menu, or changing the title from red to navy -- I want to be doing more programming!
Technically I am an applications developer at this company, but I certainly don't feel like one. I end up doing pretty much everything when it comes to websites and a little application development here and there. Thankfully there is someone there part-time that takes care of a fair bit of the tedious requests... but he's here because there are so many tedious requests that I wouldn't be able to get anything valuable done in a day. Certainly nothing to pay my pithy salary.
Anyway -- I have to get my website done this week and start handing out my resume. Hopefully I'll find something that's contract as I want to end up freelancing or starting a small business with a few of the right people.
Well... I'm off to brunch at the good ol' Skyline and then coffee/tea at the knitting cafe.
Yes. I learned how to knit. And I like it.
Nothing horribly exciting has been happening lately. The only possible exception is that I'm pretty set on finding a new opportunity. My current job is nice and all, but I want something more. I want to do more and get paid more. Instead of adding a few sentences here, a new button to such and such menu, or changing the title from red to navy -- I want to be doing more programming!
Technically I am an applications developer at this company, but I certainly don't feel like one. I end up doing pretty much everything when it comes to websites and a little application development here and there. Thankfully there is someone there part-time that takes care of a fair bit of the tedious requests... but he's here because there are so many tedious requests that I wouldn't be able to get anything valuable done in a day. Certainly nothing to pay my pithy salary.
Anyway -- I have to get my website done this week and start handing out my resume. Hopefully I'll find something that's contract as I want to end up freelancing or starting a small business with a few of the right people.
Well... I'm off to brunch at the good ol' Skyline and then coffee/tea at the knitting cafe.
Yes. I learned how to knit. And I like it.
