The girlfriend and I made up befor VD. My broke ass still went and got her a diamond necklace, because i'm cool like that

More bad news though. My mom had a heart attack Thursday night. She is ok now, we got her to the ER befor any mojor damage was done....befor she died is also good. She did have a pacemaker for a day or two, but they took it out, her heart is doing fine without it now.

These labors of love
All in vain
Dreams of better days
All for nothing
Because
You don't belive in me
And
I don't trust in you
Never seems to work
Never seems to matter
It seems all too true
Especilly for me and you

Its not over yet, but looks to be well apon its way. Not happy at all about it either
Love stinks.

I've been without my computer for a month now...long story. My harddrive died and I lost everything, music, pictures, all my e-mail contacts. Its real donky showish. Getting all my music back is keeping me busy though.

I still haven't found any work yet, and its starting to worrie me, because no money either. The girl friend is hanging in their so far, so thats good.

Hope everyone is doing better than I am.
Write more later.

I've been terrible at updating, and the newest SG lay out hasen't helped at all with keeping up with friends blogs (got that worked out though).

My birthday was pretty good, as was Thanksgiving. The girlfriend and I met each others families, and made good impressions all the way around. Funny storys are still poping up out of the drunken time stream even now from the past few weeks, like us being drunk in a gay bar and a tranny asked me to grab his/her tits...so fuck it, I did.

I need to explain this Friday till now though, because things are starting to turn to shit. We had two bands play, one heavy rock (they did a cover of stinkfist by tool that was really good) and then a reggae band. I was in the kitchen, and they had my girl working a beer tub instead of behind the bar. I really wasen't busy all night, made some food for the bands. Guess the singer for the one bands told my girl that his food was kick ass, so she brought him back to met me. Later on, I went up to say hi to her, see how she was doing....well, I was up there for all of 30 seconds and our drunk boss comes up and says to me...."I know you're fucking her, but do you have to be up here every 2 min., get back in the kitchen"....it was all I could do to walk away.....that time.
He has had a thing for her for over a year, and she has shut him down everytime. Hes petty, jealous, and just a general asshole (besides being fat and bald), but has been ok to the both of us till then. Well, I hear he and the other owner were hitting on her all night, and still not getting anywhere....hahaha. I finish up in the kitchen, go to the bar get a drink. go she her, and she is almost done also. I go back and get us both drinks, and one of the guys we work with asks me if I can help him move a couple tables befor I go...sure. While I was gone my girl ran into our boss again, and told him he should tell me he was sorry, because he was being a real dick.
I walk in, and Bill (pigfucker) gets in my face and says
"if you don't like it, you can fucking leave"
"if you don't like it, you can fucking fire me" says me.
"I mean it, if you don't like you can fucking leave"
"And like I said, You can grow some balls and fucking fire me"
"I don't want to fire you, you're a good cook, and I like you"
"You belittle me in a room full of people, but you like me ?! You like me huh ?! is this befor or after you were drooling over my girlfriends tits all night ?!!" Yeah, you fucking like me alot don't you!!"

He backed the fuck down, and went to the office. He sends his right hand Larry out to tell me if I want to come back to work tomorrow or not thats fine, but I had to leave that night or be thrown out I showed my ass a little, but only because pigfucker got in my face and started shit...I don't back the fuck down from a goddamn thing when I'm pissed off, plus I was right....wasen't sorry then, not sorry now.. We gathered up our things and were headed out, The girlfriend saw pigfucker and wanted to talk to him one last time. He came up to me, and befor he said anything I went to shake his hand and said "are we cool?" and he hugged me, he didn't say anything though.

I worked the rest of the weekend, haven't seen him since. Today I wake up to a message saying i've been laid off. Oh well, i'd reather lose a job then lose my own self-respect for not standing up for myself, plus I still have the girl, who mite have found me a new just in one day.....Gotta keep laughing, maybe because sanity is gone, lol.

Hello suicide friends, long time no talk.

The girl and I are still together. She is crazy, but then again so am I. I went from having no life, to partying everynight till 7-9 a.m., getting a couple hours sleep, going to work, and starting all over. Hit the ground running I did.

My birthday is in less than a week, first one in a long time that I have some hope that it will be good for a change.

Wow, I had a very wild week, It all started this past Thursday. A part time bartender at the bar I work at took a liking to me, she also dances at the penthouse club part time. We have gone out everynight, partying till all hours of the morning, untill tonight. I think I've only had three hours sleep per night, not that i'm complaining. I don't know who is into who more at this point. The sex is fucking great, really, we have great chemistry, and she has a brain, so we are able to talk.

We have been the talk of the town, and I don't think either of us give a fuck. Work has also been interesting, with a few jealous people (the boss being one of them), and the fact that she told a few of her girlfriends that I work with that i'm phenomenal in bed. I think its funny how she told me how painfully shy I am, and that she was going to tear me up....well, I sorta fliped the script on that one.

It mite not last long, but its real fun right now.

Happy halloween everyone !

I ran into a old friend of mine that I played alot of online games with. He got me back into playing 1st person shooter war games as of this week. I was good at that shit back in the day, but now I suck so bad its almost not fun.

Other than that not much of anything going on. My job really sucks, but so dose the job market and the economy, so I have to stay there and hate it.

Oh well, we will see what happens after the riots start

So, this image was on my homepage (no, my homepage isn't porn) the other day, It had something to do with baceball.



After some deliberation I think its champagne, but thats not what the fuck it looks like!!

I've been waiting till I have something constructive to say.....but I don't think thats going to happen anytime soon. I'll stick with destructive, its what I do best.

Anyway, I'm not easily amused most of the time, and i've been tring to get into the mind set of people who are. For example: grown people who are totally amazed by a tree. Sure, trees are cool, they convert carbon dioxide into oxygen, so we can all breath, I get it. I have probably seen a million+ trees in my life....the thrill is gone, i'm over it. Yeah, yeah they change color in the fall, its pretty....I've seen it thrity one times, and remember about twenty eight of them, woop-de-fucking-do. I haven't seen a redwood in person, so they mite wow me all of about three times, and then turn into the same everyday bullshit as everything else.

I'm just a big ball of sunshine arn't I ?

What all this leads to is....There isn't anything like the feeling of something new, and no matter how hard you try you can't get it back. Dosen't matter if its drugs, porn, a fucking tree, ect, ect. Stuck in this hedonist, sensationalist, hell of utter fucking bordom.

I'm fucked (without even the courtesy of a reach around), once again nothing new.