It's been a terribly long while since I updated. Not really a new idea, but whatever.

Just been doing a lot of the same. Reel Grrls and the Seattle Opera project we have going. its almost done now, we have 4 days of shooting left I think.

Also, I may be going down to school in LA. It's doubtful but there remains a slight bit of hope. It's amazing I haven't yet gotten notification from the school yet though. school starts in about a month so I kinda need to know one way or another. LMU is the school in case you were wondering.

Been thinking about getting this tattooed on my forearm. It's definitely more gaudy than I would usually do but I really like the image. I've seen some other very interesting feminine phoenix images that I like as well. Any thoughts?



Oh and while searching for that image I found this one and thought it involved some particularly sexy ladies so I wanted to share.



Thats all for now folks

GO SEE IT. NOW.
It was so fucking epic and so worth staying up until 3 for, Expecially on Imax. I'm pretty much speechless. But yeah, in between all the intense battle scenes I was cracking up...sooo good. but yeah, best part of my night was when I got out of the movie there was this line of people waiting for the 3 o'clock showing and they were all lined up in the hallway and blocking everyone's way. But there was this one smartass preteen bitch that managed to sprawl her legs across the whole hall and was chanting "Jump! Jump! jump!" so I just turned around and said,

and kept on walking. Do not fuck with the people who know the ending.

Hello!

I'm watching the movie Marie Antoinette at the moment. I would have to say it's definitely one of my favorites even though I feel Sophia Coppola kinda dropped the ball on it. There is really no emotional connection between Marie Antoinette and the audience which is pretty much the point of a movie. Anyone else have an opinion on the matter?

I'm painting my room this summer, or trying to anyway. Don't know why as I'm only going to be here for a couple months, maybe just as a cure to boredom. Fire engine red walls and white trim is somewhat jarring so I'm going to try light green, pink or light purple. Just getting everything moved is ridiculous and daunting task.

Something I was thinking about the other day was how this site has evolved over the years, I've only been a member for 2 years but I've been stalking around on the site since I was 14 or 15, and I noticed that back in the early days of the site the suicidegirls seemed so much more like rockstars than they do today. Nothing against the new girls, but when there were fewer of them it seemed like it was more special to be one. Mary, Regan, Zui, Quinne and Bee were so iconic to me back then and it seems that the feeling has faded somewhat. Once again, the newer girls are equally as charming and the diversity is great but to me it seems lacking as compared to the days when suicidegirls was not a nudie girl powerhouse.

Either way I still love it.

I'm selling my guitar. I haven't played it in ages and its taking up space while I'm trying to paint. Let me know if you're interested.

I would totally love to have a crazy party for my 21st. Random I know, but I only have 5 months left!

ttyl.

Variety Pack Show went wonderfully!

In case you don't know, that was the show at the Vera that I mentioned. I guess I got confused about the time though. it was 8 at the vera. But either way, the show was amazing. the groups that played were dearboy and the next door neighbors. There was a spoken word artist and a hip hop group as well. They were fucking amazing. Its been so long since I've been to a show that it just amazed me that much more.

Dearboy was intense, they had a cello and (I believe) a mandolin in the band. There is no real way to describe their sound but it definitely got my head bobbing, to the extent that when one of my higher ups (I guess you could say that....) came to ask how things were going, I didn't even notice her until she was right in front of me.

Then the next door neighbors came on and they had a totally different sound. It was very experimental and done on a couple of keyboards as well as a drum. It reminded me of the blow if you've heard of them at all. The singer had a really good voice as well.

The hip hop group and the spoken word artist both had really good execution. I was impressed. The hip hop group was a couple of girls that were really hilarious especially during soundcheck. I think their name was H20 or something, I didn't catch it. And then the Spoken word performer was pretty funny as well, she was talking about being a roman catholic as well as kids who drink at parties. A nun she knew who she thought wore red lacy underwear and the people who say "I'm fine" over and over when they are completely shitfaced.

So that was the majority of my day. I was at the seattle center from 2:30 till 10 at night. Overall I have to say it was a damn good day. As for now, I'm sitting watching Resident Evil with a friend. I totally dig the part where Alice busts into the church on a motorcycle and kills all the crazy ass monsters.

I have more to say but I'm sick of typing. so ttyl.

Hello again.

I believe its been a week or two. lots has been happening. lets see, lets see.

Well first off, I'm on the home stretch of my wisdom tooth debacle. It turns out that I had dry sockets. Which = extreme pain for another week or two after the surgery and going back to the dentist for every day of that. On the upside, he was very generous with the pain meds, which I REALLY appreciate. I'm not hurting as much now though and only one side is really giving me any problems, so I should be done with this bullshit by the end of the week.

Also, today was the first day of the internship with Reel Grrls. I never really specified what it was about before because I honestly had no clue what I was in for. But as of now it looks to be pretty amazing. Like I said before, they are a non-profit organization that teaches teenage girls how to make tv shows and movies and the like. Right now, everything is gearing up for the Variety Pack Show that is coming up this weekend. It's more or less a showcase of the girl's work from last season and then we go into the summer programs. I believe it's going to be 5 at the vera project this saturday if you care to see.

Today was mostly just hanging up posters around capitol hill and making sure all the ads were out. Let me just say that I have officially fallen in love with capitol hill. I absolutely love all the little shops and for some reason just walking around talking to people made the whole place seem a lot like a community. That and I'm actually more familiar with the area than I previously thought. I've only bummed around there a few times but its not that hard to figure out. Found where Babeland was (the sex toy shop of great infamy in the Stranger) which satiated a curiosity I've had for awhile. I didn't go in but now I know where it is .

And yes Tim, we do indeed need to talk freaking call or message me already.

Very proud of myself today. I actually got my ass out of the house.

I have an internship with Reel Grrls media which I'm stoked about... hopefully it turns out as well as I plan. They do youth programs aimed at media literacy skills and whatnot.

Kind of cleaned up around the house. I have gargantuan plans for how much I need to clean...its bugging me.

Got a pair or pants...that seem to have made friends with my rear end, which is very good news.

When I was getting said pair of pants today I came to realize how bad the economy is (yes, i am talking about it and yes I realize it has been talked about way too much) So I live close by a pretty huge mall and it is always packed. The whole place was fucking barren when I was there. it was scary, i thought it was the apocalypse. As much as I like to think that all this shit is separate from me and just the turmoil of some rich stock broker, its kind of getting a bit depressing. God forbid mindless consumerism has gone out of style.

So I'm going to see angels and demons tonight with one of my good guy friends. Sounds pretty chill.

Recently, I've been getting in the middle of all these failing relationships and I'm not sure how I manage it. I was two timed by this guy who also had another girl on the side. Though its kinda hard to tell who was really the other girl in the situation. Then I end up as the "what did they say to you?" girl in the middle of a breakup between a couple of my friends.

Seriously, people. Fuck.

Other than that I lack any sort of plan for the next 2-3 months...and it is going by wayyyy too slow.

Surgery is done. It's been going pretty ok, I don't hurt and don't have the infamous chipmunk face everyone talks about. Hated the surgery itself though. The nurses were rude and unprofessional and the anesthesia made me go into hysterics.

It started off with my mom picking a fight with me on the way there, brilliant right? about to go into my first surgery ever and you decide to argue about what part of valley hospital is considered the medical part. real mature bitch. (i love my mom, but sometimes she's just not the smartest.)

Then later the nurse came in to get me and asked if either of us wanted to meet the doctor. I said yes, my mom said no. The nurse said the closest possible thing to 'but you don't matter, come with me." that I have ever heard. not nice.

So then I'm laying down and trying to get nice and numb from the laughing gas and it turns out they didn't even turn it on. fucking idiots. so I'm fully awake when they stick all the needles in me (I fucking hate needles).

For some reason, and I know it wasn't the needles, I start to cry and freak out...still have no idea why but i did.

Then I passed out.

When I woke up I couldn't stop freaking out, my heart was beating so fast and I was crying and fighting back. Not to mention with me half conscious, the nurses took it upon themselves to make snide comments about the cutting scars on my arms (I would have understood if they were fresh, but they're fucking 6 years old.) Which pissed me off pretty bad. grow up.

so from there they got me into a wheelchair and tried to get me out the door. on the way out the actual doctor came by and the nurse said say goodbye to Dr. (whatever his name was...) to which I replied, "I fucking hate you asshole."

So I got into the car and looked in the mirror. My face didn't look that bad but my tongue was a shade of crimson I had never seen before.

Got home, and even though you're not supposed to drink for at least 7 days after, I took 3 shots of vodka with oxycodone and passed the fuck out.

That was my Monday.

summa summa summa-time its summa-time.

I am home for the summer it is official. Pretty much stoked to be staying in one place for more than two weeks.

looking forward to loitering around downtown seattle and living it up in ankle deep puddles. hell to the yeah.

I have surgery in 9 hours to have my wisdom teeth removed and not stoked about it. I have this horrible paranoia about those in the medical profession being complete screw ups and idiots...or actually just being mere mortals. thank you zack braff for humanizing individuals i would like to be infallible.

as of now, i cannot eat or drink until i wake up from the laughing gas. i kinda wonder as to why that is. maybe the anesthesia makes you so numb you pee yourself or something. i have no idea but that would definitely not make me happy. to wake up wet and in pain. nope, no bueno.

at this point i'm just rambling for a lack of something better to do.

I'd like to start reading more... anyone have any suggestions for some good nonfiction?

laters

Hey there everyone!
I'm such a bum for not updating or checking my messages in months so I apologize for that.
A lot has been happening with me.
I've been going to school as usual but I've been thinking about going to film school as well.
Its kinda a hard decision to make because film schools make things amazingly expensive.
i've been so drained, I'm stoked for spring break and ultimately summer vacay.
I think thats pretty much all I have for now.
Till next time.

this:
Is incredibly hot.

And on that note, I think I very well may be bi. But without a willing female, i really don't know how I can figure that one out.

totally random post. i know.

i just got back from my first official college party. it was okay, nothing great but worthy of another weekend out.

much love until next time.