I hope that our few remaining friends give up on trying to save us. I hope we come up with a fail safe plot to piss off the dumb few that forgave us. I hope the fences we mended fall down beneath their own weight. I hope we hang on passed the last exit, I hope it's already too late. And I hope that junkyard a few blocks from here someday burns down, and I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away and I never come back to this town again in my life. I hope I lie. And tell everyone you were a good wife. And I hope you die. I hope we both die. I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow, I hope it bleeds all day long. Our friends say it's darkest before the sun rises, we're pretty sure they're all wrong. I hope it stays dark forever. I hope the worst isn't over. I hope you blink before I do. Yeah I hope I never get sober. And I hope when you think of me years down the line, you can't find one good thing to say. And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out, you'd stay the hell out of my way. I am drowning. There is no sign of land. You are coming down with me. Hand in unlovable hand. And I hope you die. I hope we both die.

"I miss that place behind my house where I hiked and climbed and played, where I ditched this noisy century or just hid out from the decade. M-I homes thought it could stand to be updated, forced it all into a grid until it looked like the funny pages. With every trace of life, it seems, confined within a frame, the faces move from day to day but the strips all look the same. And the punchlines are resoundingly unfunny for those trapped in this architecture of easy money. And it feels like this could all come to no good. The kids who populate these culdesacs will never know what stood beneath those cookie cutter houses: fields and streams and woods. They'll sit in cars and wait for mom to drive them out of this boring neighborhood."

I've been having some very demented dreams lately. Full scale zombie outbreaks. Zombie survivors turning into reavers (ala Firefly/Serenity), and chasing me down despite machete's beingfirmly lodged in their faces. Coworkers breaking into my house and shooting themselves in the head. I didn't really used to remember my dreams, maybe like half a dozen a year or so would stay in my mind after I woke up. If this is what my mind's been concocting I wish I didn't remember it. I wonder what changed?

I wish I owned a Lexus. That way I could get away with driving like a fucking retard. I guess when you can afford one you don't care about it as much...

I really enjoy looking at people wishlists for some reason. Not really because I'm interested in buying them anything, but maybe it's because I'm such a consumer whore that I like seeing what everyone else would spend money on if they had a lot of it.

I'm fuckin hungry. I worked ten hours today. I'll probably end up working late tomorrow, too. At least I'll get paid decently, but...

I'm twenty four now. Yee haw, go meeee.

Anway, I'm gonna go eat.

"I like food, food tastes good. I like food, food tastes good. Juicy burgers greasy fries, turkey legs with raw fish eyes. Teenage girl with ketchup too, outta my way or I'll eat you. I like food, food tastes good. I like food, food tastes good. I'm gonna turn dining back into eating. I like food! Food tastes good."

On my way out from work today a coworker was eating an orange. On my way past her, I said, "Dang that orange smells good." I then went on to explain about how it almost smelled toooooo orangey to be a real orange. Like it was an artificial, or a genetically enhanced orange. Or maybe that she was just using some orange scented cleaning products. "Because there's no way an orange could smell that good." To which she replied, "Well mine can." To which I replied, "Well... Orange you special."

I feel proud.

Also, I finally got some comics I ordered a couple weeks back!

A few issues of Wolverine illustrated by Sam Keith (I just discovered he's done quite a few), which I'm pretty excited about. Speaking of Sam Keith, another issue of a series he began last April is finally out tomorrow! I also got the first five issues of Solo, which I'm just as excited about. Heck yes, Darwyn Cooke! Heck yes, Paul Pope Eisner earning tale : ) I also ordered some more Paul Pope books recently, since every copy of One Trick Rip Off you see is like a zillion dollars I was excited to find out the story originally appeared in some much cheaper issues of Dark Horse Presents!

Work has been going well, I'm starting to settle into the routine of things a little bit. I cannot wait for my first paycheck as a full time employee! Maybe if I didn't blow so much on records and comics I probably wouldn't be fiending for it so bad, but such is my life I suppose...

So I decided to leave the job I celebrated so much in my last entry. Because I landed another one that pays me a third more, and has full benefits and such : ) It's a bit further away, and the work is a little more monotonous, but I think I'll tolerate some monotony in order to have a finger sewn back on should I ever lose one.

I did some stain work today! Ha ha, may seem boring to you but I thought it was pretty cool. I thought it was going to be much harder than it was, I think I did a pretty good job regardless though : )



Other than that I taped some stuff up and did some minor sanding... Fun stuff, lemme tell ya.

I cannot wait to get paid! Holy crap do I need some money. Anybody wanna gimme money?

How are all of you?

Who's got two thumbs and a job?



This guy : ) Granted it's only part time, but something is far better than nothing!

I've been walking around on autopilot. Sometimes I catch myself in the middle of a conversation with someone, or think about it afterwards, and realize not really acknowledging what's happening has made a complete ass out of me. I say something that's completely idiotic, or worse yet a lie. Not because I intentionally wanted to deceive anybody, but it's like I'm my mind is doing other things and opts to function on autopilot. Which really sucks, because it often leads things way the fuck off course... I hope now that I'm aware of it I ought to able to remedy it with relative ease...

Second Absolute Sandman is out tomorrow! Shit, it's been an entire year, practically. I stopped reading the first one because I didn't want to get too far ahead. I remember loving what I was reading, and how frustrated I thought I would get waiting for the new one to come out, so decided to put it down and wait. Well eleven months later I can't remember a god damn thing, so now I'm thinking I'll just read them both back to back. Holy crap I'm excited.

I was in a wedding. Pictures will follow soon.

How the hell are all of you?

Finally back to Austin! After a month or so of being surrounded by family and stuff it's kinda boring out here. But the rest of my things are arriving tomorrow, so hopefully finally getting to unpack all my junk will pacify my mind for the time being.

Some other things I'm looking forward to are:

Halo mofuggin 3! I just got a 360 a couple weeks ago, so I'm really looking forward to it. I've been entertaining myself with Tenchu Z since then, so it'll be nice to have another game to play : )

Heroes! The second season starts tomorrow. I got the box set without ever having seen an episode because I kept on seeing all these comics with interviews from Tim Sale and Jeph Loeb discussing it, so once I realized they were even remotely involved I took the plunge. I'm excited to see where it's going!

Other than that, there's a new Weakerthans album out Tuesday, and I think a week after that there's gonna be a new one from American Steel as well! I was thinking about going to see Modern Life is War, but I decided I should start saving a little money, at least until I can find a job out here. Which will hopefully be soon : )

So.... I rejoined the site. Open arms, anyone?

Anyway, they kept sending me emails making the price lower and lower each time, and I had a little money, so eventually I caved. I hope it'll be a joyous reconciliation.

In other news, I've just moved. Boston to Austin, and I'm currently in Arizona picking up the rest of my things to cart them out to Texas. Yippee. Long lonely drive, here I come.

I've decided I've got way too much stuff. But I've also decided it's mine, and I'm not getting rid of any of it. It's really more symbiotic than parasitic, I think. Mmm... I get to go move stuff now. Fun!

Broke and lonely, cold and hungry, and though it may sound funny, I'm doin alright.

Yeah.

It's another dreary night...