As I was passing you in the fast lane, you first caught my eye by flicking a lit cigarette out of your window. This glance enabled me to also notice that you were holding your iphone at the top of your steering wheel and were, in fact, watching a video. When I saw you riotously guffaw at whatever apparently hilarious sitcom you'd been viewing, I decided I should probably just focus on the road and not what an asshole you are. About a half mile down the road, I noticed the passing lane was being merged to the right to accommodate what looked like a tow truck. So I put my turn signal on and after a few moments began entering the space between you and the car ahead of you. I would very much have liked to continue doing this, but your sudden and hasty acceleration meant our cars would have collided were I to maintain this course. So I fell back into my own soon to be closed lane, and thought maybe the next car would be slightly kinder. And they were! How fortuitous for me and my desire to exit a closing lane. Though I must admit this triumph was short lived, blinked out of existence when you decided to abandon your recently coveted lane in favor of the closing one, where you could shave eight seconds off your driving time by gunning it and forcing your way back into your old lane a few cars ahead. Congratulations, and thanks for replenishing my distaste for people!
sid:
Ugh, did you end up driving in Colorado or something!? People here do that shit alllll the time.