Today: 148 pounds.
Ran and lifted yesterday, only did some core work today as I think I'm coming down with something- that or the suddenly cold air has really irritated my sinuses.
I really need to start eating properly again, and I do try to force myself to eat. I just can't eat every much, and if I do eat too much (as in: I can feel more than a few bites in my stomach) I start to feel sick. I know I will never reach my fitness goals if I don't start eating, and I'm going to start to lose muscle which is exactly what I don't want. Although I take tons of supplements, and I make sure I have a protein shake every day, my body is starting to feel depleted, which is probably why I'm starting to feel like I'm getting sick.
I'm going through a huge transitional period in my life, as my husband and I separated a little over a week ago. He says he needs to "find what he needs to be doing in life" and wants a divorce. I won't let him rush me into this decision- something like this decided too quickly could ruin a lot of things. The thing I miss most right now is human touch. I am trying so hard to be strong right now, when all I want to do is break. There is so much that is good in my life right now, and I have to hang on to those things when I feel the way I do now. The reality is that I love him more than anything, but he's a sad broken shadow of the man I married, and I don't want him as he is now anyway.
Right now I am focused on my career and my health, and really learning to be the best I can be. For those of you who have been through this, how long did it take for you to be happy just being alone?
Ran and lifted yesterday, only did some core work today as I think I'm coming down with something- that or the suddenly cold air has really irritated my sinuses.
I really need to start eating properly again, and I do try to force myself to eat. I just can't eat every much, and if I do eat too much (as in: I can feel more than a few bites in my stomach) I start to feel sick. I know I will never reach my fitness goals if I don't start eating, and I'm going to start to lose muscle which is exactly what I don't want. Although I take tons of supplements, and I make sure I have a protein shake every day, my body is starting to feel depleted, which is probably why I'm starting to feel like I'm getting sick.
I'm going through a huge transitional period in my life, as my husband and I separated a little over a week ago. He says he needs to "find what he needs to be doing in life" and wants a divorce. I won't let him rush me into this decision- something like this decided too quickly could ruin a lot of things. The thing I miss most right now is human touch. I am trying so hard to be strong right now, when all I want to do is break. There is so much that is good in my life right now, and I have to hang on to those things when I feel the way I do now. The reality is that I love him more than anything, but he's a sad broken shadow of the man I married, and I don't want him as he is now anyway.
Right now I am focused on my career and my health, and really learning to be the best I can be. For those of you who have been through this, how long did it take for you to be happy just being alone?
NOV 24, 2010 12:48 PM
I find that absent-minded snacking is a good way to get more food in myself than my conscious mind would normally allow. Watching TV? Grab a snack! Always keep snacks lying around on the coffee table, in your purse, at your work station, and on your nightstand.. All good ways to promote eating.
I'm so sorry to hear that things didn't work out for you guys. 
After two failed engagements it took me a year or so of purposely remaining single to be happy being alone. Seriously, call me if you need to talk. *hugs*
EmoElmo
Los Angeles, CA
January 2010
NOV 24, 2010 01:19 PM
DEC 08, 2010 08:19 PM
Feel better princess 
