***if only you were a figment*

if only i hadnt heard your voice, or your laugh that melted my soul,
if only i hadnt held your hand , wrapped in sheets when it was cold,
if only i hadnt gotten lost in your eyes, as i read them youd never blink,
if only i hadnt held you close, this would be easier i think...


this poem wasnt finished but then again im not going to finish it because im going to bury these memories, though they were the best of my life just about i cant rehash them now but later down road perhaps ill pull them out of my mind and smile but now they only cause harm and make me feel weird and leave me cluttered , confused and even more so contradicting myself and my thoughts on who i am.... so alas.... im done with this sadness time to swallow it down and bury it like always and all shall be ok..