" LOATHING IN SOLACE... MY SELF INFLICTED DOWNFALL

i cant believe this is my life, i cant believe im me, i look in the mirror and hate what i see , denying it could even be me,

in a hate filled rage my fist makes love to the wall, as he yells at me to make it end, i look at him with vicious eyes, because that hole in the wall is my friend.

surrounded by ones that pretend they care, my mind like a prison just holding me there ,
i try to be normal, but this just simply cannot be!
i go back to that mirror , seeing red, and whisper in my own ear,
"this can not be me"

i miss the one who was stronger than you, the one that never let it die!
the one that survived on laughter, the one who you'd never see cry,
i miss the one that loved , the one who could really feel, but who are you ? so dead inside, i pray none of this is real.

awoken this morn from a dream, i wanted to go back in, for things were the way i need them to be, as long as i keep waking up i just cant win.

i sit here and type these broken words as i read them , all sanity starts to fade,
i dig these holes and i shall lie in them,
these are the choices i have made.