day 2 of my vacation. day 1 was spent hungover, haha! i dont really have nothing planned, just really needed some time off. didnt use it for the summer so this week was appropriate. and the weather is amazing. but tomorrow is the big day! DOWN is in town and i have VIP tickets, super excited and nervous! i have to read the email again, listing the rules and regulations. and i think i have to be there 4:00 on the dot! so its pretty much a dull day of DOWNness! i get some merch, a photo with the band and one personal item signed. i have no idea what to get signed. the new EP is fuckin killer, im mainly thinking of getting that signed. kinda wish i wasnt going by myself but thats what i do! my friends suck. so i will most likely spend some time at the bar and i usually end up talkin to someone. hopefully with the VIP ill meet some people and we can all hang at the bar. and theyre female, even better! my plan this week was to roam around town and just apply to store or just ask if they need anyone. cause i really dont wanna do another season of xmas at my current job. its hell! so maybe ill do that thursday. i just gotta stop being so fucking lazy and not listen to my mind, because it gets me nowhere! i did finally post an ad of Craigslist, looking for some metal musicians. i had one responder. sounds like a well established guitar player, into the Stoner Rock/Doom Metal. which i am looking for but also to apply a little bit of death metal. so i wrote an email back, guess ill see what happens. hoping for the best! hm.. other than that... i am seeing Morbid Angel on Friday, excited for that, more so Dark Funeral and Grave. great death metal lineup and usually i meet random people at death metal shows and see familar faces. thats the week so far. it feels great to not have to work!

well hello.. its been awhile since i blogged. the weather this morning is amazing. fall is around the corner! Halloween is on its way! my favorite holiday and season. im actually up earlier than usual. i have an appointment with the brain Doc. i had a bunch of tests done about 2 weeks ago so we'll see what came outta that. i know for sure the new med i take now doesn't work. so i'm sure i'll be prescribed another one. i hate that. i dont like taking medicine but i havent had any relief at all from this Neuralgia. it was a grooling work week last week. i dont think one day went smooth or i wasn't aggravated, even with home life. i really need to get something going in my life but i wont go any further cause i dont wanna rant. this past weekend was alright. there was a party on friday so i went there after work. i planned on only having a couple and not staying out late, well that turned into going home at 7am haha, its been awhile since i did that. i was exhausted the next day and definitely didnt get the sleep i wanted. i was abruptly woken by my mother cause a friend wanted help from me to help him work on a friends house laying down tiles in the kitchen. i have no skills but for some reason he always comes to me. extremely tired and hung over, i am on a saw cutting away ceramic tiles as he glued them down. and of course it had to start raining! the saw was in the yard. soaked from that and the machine itself runs off of water i guess to keep the blade fresh so as he cut its spraying water at you lol. i was aggravated cause i was thrown into it by my mother, if my friend would of asked me for help it would of been a different story. but anyway so yeah, supposedly i'll get paid for my contribution but i have doubts cause this friend has been out of work for quite some time. so sunday, i finally got to the art store! thats what i hate about myself, i make plans in my head and my actions majority of the time fail. im tired of that. but i got there. i needed new blades for my block printing, new sketch book, another printing roller and pencils. it really made me want to goto school and not for nothing it has been on my mind. i just really dont know what to do. well i'd write a little more but im kinda pushing time for my appointment and i'm biking there.. ttyl

hello! happy Friday everyone! hope all is well. its been an ok week besides work but ive been productive, which is good. gyming, singing, havent drawn this week cause i need to goto the art supply store for some tools and then i plan on goin on a drawing spree. trying to get myself to feel comfortable with my vocals to put myself on Craigslist, i need some like minded people to jam with. i went to Dobbs open mic the other night again. its a cool time. variety of genres, tho metal seems to be too much for them but i respect all musicianship even if it some poppy acoustic shit which is was that night. i found it funny. it was like boy band acoustic night, and all the drunk girls falling for them ha. it was a weird open mic tho, kinda boring and nothing really that was special. my friends set was alright, and actually there was a couple girl singers acoustic player were good. so of course i finally got a bar seat and there i stayed haha. bar tender knew my sister so i was talkin to him, gave me 2 free rounds, that was cool of him. i bought him a shot before i left. so its finally friday, one more night of working, ugh.. friend of mines mom is having a shindig tonight, not quite sure were ill end up, and i neeeed to get to the art store tomorrow or ill never get anything done, and yes im a big procrastinator. sunday my one friend is having a pool party, last hoorah for the summer, should be fun. i need some confidence, ive been goin to the open mics, im just too damn shy to talk to girls unless they converse first. been tryin to keep postive, tell myself whats there to lose, nothin. dont worry about anything. sorta working but cant be all peaches and cream ha. oh well... i seemed to have slacked today, didnt get anything done. the bank held me up alot cause of the old peoples first of the months checks. so work is haunting over... argghh....

happy Friday to all! i dont know about you guys but i am glad as hell this week is over. well i have to work tonight and then its over, for me. for me, its been a long, slow and draining week. been quite productive all week. went to the gym everyday, practiced vocals too. almost got done a block print but my main tool broke so i gotta go up town tomorrow to get a new one or 2 haha. i need a new sketch book anyway. of course work fuckin blew this week and on top of it, my wrist has been extremely hurting. its been goin on, on and off but tuesday it hurt like a bitch and i just pushed myself to get through the week. it feels better just a little sore and stiff. and i am in definite need of major sleep. even with being productive all week just not getting enough. i was completely exhausted yesterday, at work i could of fallen over, thats what it felt like. i should of went right to sleep instead of having a couple beers. but i had a craving and ill pay the price. ill behave tonight haha, i have to get to the bank early tomorrow anyway. so.. anyway, tomorrows plan, goto the bank, then the gym, relax a bit, eat and then go up town to get what i need. wish i had a teleporter to get my ass to the beach since i dont have a car. really would like to get away from the city. but life sucks when ya kinda gotta rely on people. i need a vehicle! [sigh].. so yeah, happy friday! ha

Happy Birthday DIMEBAG DARRELL!! he would have been 46. i still cant believe its been almost 10 years since his passing. he had so much more in life to do. musically and personally. he was an amazing person. i know i didnt know him personally. but we all lived through the music. i looked up to him dearly. i love Pantera. i am so glad my sister took me when i was about, geeze, early teens to see them. it was on the Reinventing The Steel tour. i remember Morbid Angel opened for them, it was great! i have and collect all Panteras doings. im glad they released the book, "He Came To Rock" with the first part of Dimevision, classic! hilarious stuff. and of course the 3 Vulgar Videos, funny as shit, great dvd. i always thought i was somewhat like him. just a goof ball who loved music so much. it was not his time to go. the metal world is missing out. so CHEERS to the one and only DIMEBAG! grab yourself a beer or in his case, a Blacktooth and give your salute! Forever Missed But Never Forgotten! GETCHA PULL!


my fav picture of Dime, his face just luminates happiness!

and i was trying to find one of me, i used to occasionally dye my beard just like him. i couldnt find a real good one, but you get where im going. this is a looonnng time ago. my beards longer now and im alot healthier lol

the mail brought gifts today.. Pantera Cowboys From Hell 20th Anniversary box set


and also, perhaps the best thing that came with it..


think ill hide those, that is a rare keep.

so its been shitty rainy nights at work, what else is new. but i couldnt wait to get done last night. a friend i havent seen in a long time was doin a open mic night at Dobbs on South St. i brought my bike to work so i could jet right there. that didnt happen. my handle bars came loose on my way but were fine on the way to the gym in the morning. just another set back. anyway, got there in plenty of time. knew a few people but not many. they had a variety of acts playing, it was cool, i really enjoyed it. it really made me think i really need to focus my energy on my singing, stop being miserable and do what i believe im here for. been really tryin to clear my head, not think of the dumb shit that haunts me. on facebook, there is a, not sure how to label it/him, well its Metal Motivation. this guy is a metalhead/motivator/coach, whatever you wanna call it. but he relates with metal, which is awesome. he has a lot of good advice and ways of dealing with certain life restraints. i think its cool. if i could right positive every wear, id do it, just to keep peace. anyway, my little story isnt quite over. on my bike ride home, just leisurely cruisin, a SUV cop is behind putting its search light on me. i seen it go by me like 3 times and i kept lookin back and i know they saw me. and yea, i looked like a biker on a Schwinn beach cruiser LoL. so on purpose i slowed down and broke a couple times to align with them. the reason, he had a passenger and i heard them talking so i took it upon myself and said "excuse me", i was ready for war, though not with the right people but i had nothin to hide. and it just pissed me off to get bothered for no reason when somewhere theres some hooker, robber, junkie somewhere. im just goin home. so they eventually spoke and just said "oh, no, youre alright" and they turned and i went on my merry way. not really complaining, just thought it was really dumb on their part. ha. and thats where my night ends, munhed out then passed out. it feels like friday to me, but of course its not. really hopin for a good weekend. at least its pay day!..

the weather doesnt want to make up its mind today. glad i got done what i needed to do in the times it didnt shower. stayed in last night, relaxed with my time off from work. watched a horrible movie based on a ghost hunter type idea but involving serial killers homes. i forget the title but it was about John Wayne Gacy. they were investigating the house and focused on the massive crawl space he had for the bodies. it was quite ridiculous, filled with bad acting but i give those things a chance. and of course supposedly the investigators where never found and the footage is what the police found at the scene, har har har. so that didnt fill my horror need. and since i just joined Netflix, i browsed and saw Human Centipede 2. i had bootleg of it forever but my sister took to her bfs and i never got it back so it was my chance. and oh boy was that a difference from the first one. i liked the first one, basing everything on a concept. not too gore but it made you think. like my favorite movie of all time Silence of The Lambs. it had it moments of detail murders but it was made for suspense, to fill your head of all the awful things without seeing them. almost like Jaws, you never saw it but it still scared the shit outta you. anyway so i thought the second was pretty good. the creepy little dude in his tighy whiteys did get a little old but it was a chuckle cause of his stature. i thought the blood and gore was good. when he pulverized his mothers head and drug her to the kitchen table i was amazed haha. the most hilarious thing had to be when the centipede was finally constructed, he attempts just like the Doctor did in the first, to make it eat and defecate. when i saw the laxative bottle, immediately i laughed and was just like "this is gonna be funny", and it was. the rumbling of stomachs and the explosive diarheas of each person splattering. i was shocked when i saw the girl from the first one came into play, didnt expect it. over all, it was definitely a level up from the first. and i guess from the way it ended, there will be a 3rd. and i will definitely watch that one also. haha.

today, i woke up still tired from the previous day. but i had to get to the bank and get a package shipped. i even work for the company and didnt know they were closed. you would think customer service would be open on a saturday for those that cant pick up during the week. so a waste of a walk. eh, so went home and just carried on, got my bike and went to the gym. had lunch when i got home and went directly to the basement to start a well, long over due cleaning. i am pretty much done, just need to arrange things and throw some more stuff out. pretty productive for a saturday. now im feeling tired and but dont really wanna call the day quits. enjoying a High Life at the moment, listening to Necrophagia, good time. i think a shower is needed to wipe todays filth off, and who knows whats next.. wouldnt mind another horror movie... wouldnt mind going out... argghhhh

blah, its been a week from hell. work has been more ridiculous than usual and i havent been feeling good at at all. which for a fact has me more aggravated with everything. was hoping to get out of work early last night since i have the seniority this week due to a coworker on vacation. but no. it was a night from hell. i work for/with idiotic assholes. and i can not help to yell or curse at these people. THEY make it worse for EVERYONE. like the job alone isnt worse enough. as much as i dont want to complain about my job, and yes i am looking for a way out, i applied to a couple jobs last week and this week. so we'll see.. anyway, i had to get up very early this morning for some more tests on my condition. i barely slept and it looked like it was going to storm. rode my bike there which doesnt take long. i had to get there early for blood work so it didnt interfer with the schedule of my other tests. so that was first, then an ultrasound of both sides of my neck to check if any arteries were blocked, the technician said she didnt see anything but you know how that goes, technicians only know so much. secondly was an EEG, its where they put those patches all over your head with all kinds a goo or "grease" as the lady said and then past it in your scalp, wasnt fun, being i have long hair. i believe this procedure tracks your brain activity to see any brain disorders. so lastly was another MRI, which i had before and a MRA. basically a scan of your head and they scanned my neck to check the spine. i know it sounds like im a nut case! lol i didnt ask for all this. it felt like forever to get these all done and of course when im leaving its fuckin POURING down rain. a lovely bike ride home. ive decided im not going to work tonight, i dont feel good and i dont feel like dealing with them after last night. i plan to relax, ive been up since before 5am. i think im gonna look into Netflix, watch a few horror flicks and crash.. sounds good to me..

so Summer Slaughter was yesterday. it was a good time but a little disappointing. i missed Exhumed and Goatwhore, who i really wanted to see. my friend that went with me has been dealing with some health problems and he felt ill so we relaxed until he felt ok cause he wanted to go. i didnt mind, i was drinking haha. anyway, i feel like this years had a lot more of that deathcore shit. im not a fan of that genre. the band before Cannibal Corpse, Between The Buried And Me, they had these lights flashing in the background the entire time they played, it made me think like what the fuck, am i seeing Modest Mouse or somethin?? hahaha Cannibal was good though i dont really listen to them anymore. i grew tired of Corpsegrinders vocals but they make good music. plus i love the old stuff. so yeah, nothing to really brag about it. definitely feeling hungover. it was so hot at the show i think that dried me out. not looking forward to work tonight, ugh....

its been early start for me today. im already feeling exhausted and my day isnt over yet. i had an appointment with an Neurologist since the others docs have not given me any relief with what i thought were migraines or tmj. and yes, i have plenty of blogs pertaining to this cause it is very draining of my self of whats going on and of course prolonged, cause getting appointments are such a hassle and take forever. so to rattle me off already, the dude was late, i was there forever!! and its such a tiny shithole by the time i got done theres like 10 people crammed into a shitter. tho strangely bumped into an exgirlfriend of my friends with her bf that goes there. we exchanged numbers, she was always a cool chick, not to call her out, but she is "hippie"ish. which i dont mind and shes very cute ha. anyway back to the guts. he went over my records, yadda yadda, examined my body for how i feel certain things or if i didnt. which the only thing that did is the main side of where i feel pain/discomfort in my face. tho it has fluctuated to the other side but not as bad. in the end, it came to "Trigeminal Neuralgia" which i always thought was a suspect due to multiple internet searches but now confirmed. so now another medicine to supposedly relieve some of the nerve pain. the pain in the ass part, i have to get more tests done. blood work, mri of my neck, front and back and that mri with the sticky patches all over your head, whatever its called. sounds lovely, right? ugh.. so now im even too tired to do anything, i would like to do a vocal practice but ill just get discouraged and i still have to work. and dont get me even started with that, last night was beyond fucking terrible. no wonder i have head problems. hah. oh well.. ive really ranted this time.. only thing i have to look forward to is Summer Slaughter this sunday. Cannibal Corpse is headlining, not too excited about them, i grew outta Corpsegrinders vocals. but i am excited for EXHUMED, FLESHGOD APOCALYPSE, and the newcomer The Faceless. til then..