sooo angry im gonna miss GHOST tonight. opening for Mastodon, which i am not a big fan of. i HATE working nights! this really makes me think of switching shifts again and of course a new job! but there is a good news that came out of today. new SIX FEET UNDER will be released May 22 and the album art is killer and they already posted one track... im excited!
was hoping to have off tonight. that was the rumor between the me and the older guy that have the most seniority at work. hoping he still text's me that we dont. but i know how that place works, hell have off and i still gotta work. suppose to be not that busy. good thing ive had a six pack already ha. and of course the bullshit of the day.. my response...
pretty good day today. got a lot of cleaning done upstairs, down stairs, ehh.. needs work lol. finally got to sit down and im on here. about to do a little vocals session cause i didnt realize how late it was. hopin tonight is my last night of work. rumored it was goin to be light tomorrow cause of black friday -l-. hopefully, cause i can get more stuff done. anyway so yeah, time to get some vokills in before i have to get ready for work.. and heres my 2 cents for unholy thursday
had a great time at my cousins wedding yesterday! always fun drinkin with the family even tho i am a complete outsider comapared to my cousins but we all get along and they know i like to drink so, ha. had some compliments on my weight loss, that made me feel good and ill say i looked pretty good with my outfit. had to play dress up for a change ha. but now ill never see those clothes again. and its only saturday! feels like a sunday. not too hungover but i feel beat. we'll see what today brings...
off to a lousy friday night of work. i hate fridays! and it is so nice out, actually hot, think it reached near 80 today. blaahhh... the miseryyyy, just lookin forward to a session on the way home and im debating if i wanna drink tonight. i need to get up early tomorrow and go shopping. i have a wedding next week and i dont have anything that fits. and im hopin i can get a new tire for my bike, cause i need to get to the gym!
blahhh, lot of thoughts goin through my head. lately my ex has been on my mind for some reason. as much as i wanted the break up, i dont really want to be single. i would like to talk to her but i know its hard on her behalf and i dont wanna start anything. at that time i really beat myself up cause we were never quite the 'wonderful' couple, and i take the blame cause i can be a miserable bastard sometimes and i dont like bein that way anymore. i was her first everything and i didnt want her to take those situations with her, as in, its not all this way, it can be better with someone else. i wanted to break up and i didnt. obviously i havent totally let her go yet. i do miss her. i feel like i did change somewhat in these months. i cut my alcohol intake down, i did drink a lot when i was with her but i also have some troubles that made me, i can say, my job i despeise and home life. and then i can dr jekyll and mr hide, where since i am losing weight i would like to try to meet someone new. but thats not a guarantee and of course not a guarantee id find 'love'. and for me that word is scary and i sometimes dont understand, just like my situation with my ex. i didnt quite know if i was 'in' love. blahh, think i needed some things off my chest.. st pattys just past and of course i got loaded. and either with my anxiety migraines or tmj, it gave me more anxiety cause i hate the memory loss on drinking. i know the answer is 'well dont drink that much' kinda hard when im used to it and once youre feeling good, it happens. but for my sake, it is no longer a crutch and tell ya truth if marijuana was legal or decriminalized id probably quit altogether. its not as fun as it used to be and not worth the mess the day after. so right now im battling some memory of loss of saturday which is punishment enough cause my mind doesnt stop. i have a wedding at the end of the month, i think i might go on a hiatus from alcohol... i hate feelin like dr jekyll and mr hide. and i always seems to answer myself but my actions never happen. i need some happiness in my life and i dont have that. and i dont know what it is either. i wanna just live, be myself and prosper.....
Hank III last night was awesome! probably one of the best shows ive seen in a long time. he played for at least 3 1/2 hours. played everything he has done. of course my favorite part was when he played Attention Defecit Domination, that shit was killer!! AND even better, im standing there and this gray haired guy walks by me, it was BOBBY LEIBLING[Pentagram]!!! i was like holy shit and the next thing i know hes on stage with Hank!! badass. he didnt stop for anyone, i tried, yelling his name lol. definitely drank enough but i had a damn good time. now im trying to get my brain back for Paddys Day!! Cheers everyone!
beautiful day for Philly today, hitting 70 degrees! no jacket, rode the bike to gym, did what i had to do. and then i was going to stop at the park on the way for a little toke and i got a flat tire!! i was pissed. it would of been quite a walk home from where i was. good thing a friend was around and wasnt busy, came and got me with my other friends truck. have to check if its a hole or maybe i did over pumped it, who knows, didnt unexpected and kinda shitted my day up. but on the High note, just have to wait to get my pump back from a family member, sitting around, relaxed before i goto work, ughh.. i feel like havin a beer and layin down, tell ya the truth..
finally got to the gym on my bike this afternoon, quite an adventure! now quite sure what way is the easiest and safest yet. going home was definitely a little nerving cause of the traffic and school letting out. but im just glad i got there. feeling good besides the migraine and its affecting my neck, and funny it didnt totally hit me til i got home, oh well. my Serpent Venom shirt finally came today also, been waitin on this for atleast a couple months, schweeet!... its only fucking wednesday and im sick of work. the weather is great tho, 60 something today and tomorrow is going to be about 70, wonderful! think maybe ill 'pack' a 'lunch' for tomorrows gym session if ya know what i mean, hehe *bong noise*. for those, theres park in that area that has the only grass and trees for us South Philly kids haha. speaking of Philly, i do plan on goin to the North Star Bar this sunday for the SG event. tho i hate goin to places alone but hopefully ill met some people, plus i really need to get that outta my head, i CAN do, etc etc.. well its almost time for the real misery to set in cause work is slowly creeping up(really wish i had a different job, for what i id today, i'd maybe actually feel happy for once), enough of dread.. ttyl
