So, I had to head out to California last weekend for my best friend's wedding. Why they chose Yosemite National Park, when they live in New York, is beyond me. Well, that's not true; it was an absolutely stunning environment to get hitched; the weather was perfect; and the hiking and boating were lovely.
In any event, on Friday I had to connect at Cincinnati, and Atlanta before jetting out to Sacramento. Here's how THAT went:
1. 3am Friday - untimely fight with the girl, coupled with being super shit-faced, high, and tired. My flight was at 8 am.
2. 8am Friday morning - hung over like a mother-fucker.
3. Flight to Cincy arrives 30 minutes late and I had to literally run to catch my connecting flight to Atlanta. If you've ever been to the Delta terminal at Cincy, you know it is like a small city, and you know that one has to catch a series of busses and trams to get to any other terminal.
4. Atlanta - smoked a cigarette in one of those little smoking rooms they have. Easily one of the most disgusting ventures I have ever experienced.
5. 7pm Sacramento airport - hey, my bag missed my connecting flight in Cincy. It'll be here in an hour, I'm told. And, holy shit, it actually was.
6. 8pm Sacramento airport - cool, now 5 hours of driving to Yosemite - along dark, winding/climbing roads into the mountains. If I could see fuck all, I'm sure it would have been a lovely drive.
7. 1am or so Yosemite - nice, another hour of driving inside the park to get to the valley where I am staying with my 2 friends - in a tent cabin.
8. 2am the Valley at Yosemite - oh, you mean my reservation has been lost? Well that sucks for me right? Oh, you only have a more expensive room for us? Fuckn'-a. That sounds great; we'll take it.
9. 2:30am at our tent cabin - only 2 cots for 3 people. Hmm, I guess it's the floor for me because I am like that.
10. 10am - after not sleeping at all, at least my back feels great. Time to hike (which was mad fun).
Let's cut to Monday around 10am as we are leaving the park.
1. My friend has insisted on doing 100% of the driving the entire time, while complaining the entire time about how much driving he is doing. I like to drive. Driving keeps me from being bored out of my skull. Tough shit for me. We are headed to San Fransisco to stay with a friend of ours for the night.
2. My friend then insists that instead of going to San Fran, we should drive another hour south of the city to see this allegedly spectacular beach, called Half Moon Bay. So we do that.
3. My directions are ignored, which of course, results in the drive taking longer.
3. We finally get to Half Moon Bay only to find that the beach closes in 30 minutes, and that we have to pay 10 bucks to park. So we do that.
4. We walk a bit on the beach, which, sure, was a nice beach, but nothing I haven't seen before. We stay for about 20 minutes.
5. We drive an our back to San Fran, with my directions again being ignored, which again causes the drive to take longer.
6. 7pm Arrival at our friend's place - ah relaxing a bit before we go out and have fantastic, fresh, cheap sushi. Very very nice.
7. 10pm or so - a few drinks at a local bar, some pool, and some loud rock music. Again very nice.
8. 1am or so - I fall down on an air matress back at the place and sleep for a long time. Yet again, very awesome.
9. 3pm - Alcatraz. Stunning - and me without my good camera.
10. 8pm - Delicious burrito in the Mission.
11. 10pm - I board my direct flight to JFK at SFO.
12. 10:30pm - screaming child who refuses to sit in her seat delays our take-off. I invite woman sitting next to said child to move to my row, as it is empty except for me. I figured getting the child to shut the fuck up was worthy of giving up an empty row, in which I could have actually laid down and slept. Big mistake. The woman didn't shut up the whole time - even when I had my headphones in. Sheesh.
13. 7am arrival at JFK - no sleep, hungry, irritated. Oh, nice, my last flight home is delayed for whatever reason.
14. 10am board the last flight home - ARGH! Sitting on the runway for an hour for whatever reason.
15. Girl is irritated that she is at the airport driving around in circles waiting for my flight to arrive and for me to get my bag - can't say I blame her.
16. Dan Marino was on my flight.
17. Flight arrives.
18. I get my bag.
19. I get an ear-full after ZERO sleep.
20. I get home and crash for 6 hours; get up; eat; crash for another 6 hours.
Yesterday:
1. Tennis - I was fucking awful and I wanted to break stuff. Anything would have been good (except for my rackett, which unfortunately I chose).
Today:
1. Still no job and no real prospects.
Next Monday:
1. Oil Change and inspection.
2. Driving to Cincy to hang out with my parents.
Next Tuesday thru Thursday:
1. Supposedly a couple of interviews.
Sometime toward the end of the month:
1. Moving to god knows where, as my lease will be up.
In any event, on Friday I had to connect at Cincinnati, and Atlanta before jetting out to Sacramento. Here's how THAT went:
1. 3am Friday - untimely fight with the girl, coupled with being super shit-faced, high, and tired. My flight was at 8 am.
2. 8am Friday morning - hung over like a mother-fucker.
3. Flight to Cincy arrives 30 minutes late and I had to literally run to catch my connecting flight to Atlanta. If you've ever been to the Delta terminal at Cincy, you know it is like a small city, and you know that one has to catch a series of busses and trams to get to any other terminal.
4. Atlanta - smoked a cigarette in one of those little smoking rooms they have. Easily one of the most disgusting ventures I have ever experienced.
5. 7pm Sacramento airport - hey, my bag missed my connecting flight in Cincy. It'll be here in an hour, I'm told. And, holy shit, it actually was.
6. 8pm Sacramento airport - cool, now 5 hours of driving to Yosemite - along dark, winding/climbing roads into the mountains. If I could see fuck all, I'm sure it would have been a lovely drive.
7. 1am or so Yosemite - nice, another hour of driving inside the park to get to the valley where I am staying with my 2 friends - in a tent cabin.
8. 2am the Valley at Yosemite - oh, you mean my reservation has been lost? Well that sucks for me right? Oh, you only have a more expensive room for us? Fuckn'-a. That sounds great; we'll take it.
9. 2:30am at our tent cabin - only 2 cots for 3 people. Hmm, I guess it's the floor for me because I am like that.
10. 10am - after not sleeping at all, at least my back feels great. Time to hike (which was mad fun).
Let's cut to Monday around 10am as we are leaving the park.
1. My friend has insisted on doing 100% of the driving the entire time, while complaining the entire time about how much driving he is doing. I like to drive. Driving keeps me from being bored out of my skull. Tough shit for me. We are headed to San Fransisco to stay with a friend of ours for the night.
2. My friend then insists that instead of going to San Fran, we should drive another hour south of the city to see this allegedly spectacular beach, called Half Moon Bay. So we do that.
3. My directions are ignored, which of course, results in the drive taking longer.
3. We finally get to Half Moon Bay only to find that the beach closes in 30 minutes, and that we have to pay 10 bucks to park. So we do that.
4. We walk a bit on the beach, which, sure, was a nice beach, but nothing I haven't seen before. We stay for about 20 minutes.
5. We drive an our back to San Fran, with my directions again being ignored, which again causes the drive to take longer.
6. 7pm Arrival at our friend's place - ah relaxing a bit before we go out and have fantastic, fresh, cheap sushi. Very very nice.
7. 10pm or so - a few drinks at a local bar, some pool, and some loud rock music. Again very nice.
8. 1am or so - I fall down on an air matress back at the place and sleep for a long time. Yet again, very awesome.
9. 3pm - Alcatraz. Stunning - and me without my good camera.
10. 8pm - Delicious burrito in the Mission.
11. 10pm - I board my direct flight to JFK at SFO.
12. 10:30pm - screaming child who refuses to sit in her seat delays our take-off. I invite woman sitting next to said child to move to my row, as it is empty except for me. I figured getting the child to shut the fuck up was worthy of giving up an empty row, in which I could have actually laid down and slept. Big mistake. The woman didn't shut up the whole time - even when I had my headphones in. Sheesh.
13. 7am arrival at JFK - no sleep, hungry, irritated. Oh, nice, my last flight home is delayed for whatever reason.
14. 10am board the last flight home - ARGH! Sitting on the runway for an hour for whatever reason.
15. Girl is irritated that she is at the airport driving around in circles waiting for my flight to arrive and for me to get my bag - can't say I blame her.
16. Dan Marino was on my flight.
17. Flight arrives.
18. I get my bag.
19. I get an ear-full after ZERO sleep.
20. I get home and crash for 6 hours; get up; eat; crash for another 6 hours.
Yesterday:
1. Tennis - I was fucking awful and I wanted to break stuff. Anything would have been good (except for my rackett, which unfortunately I chose).
Today:
1. Still no job and no real prospects.
Next Monday:
1. Oil Change and inspection.
2. Driving to Cincy to hang out with my parents.
Next Tuesday thru Thursday:
1. Supposedly a couple of interviews.
Sometime toward the end of the month:
1. Moving to god knows where, as my lease will be up.
I hold out hope for you though...even though I don't know you.
(have you ever thought of doing some comedy writing or stand up? I know this trip was the pits but reading this was pretty funny)
Just a suggestion.