It was brought to my attention today just how others view me. I'm pathetic and could never get a girl. This is from people that I work with. None of them know anything about any past relationships I've been in but it's still kinda disheartening that maybe I've been single this past year because of that and not that I haven't felt ready to move on. Someone has caught my attention but with how things ended the last time, which killed my confidence and made me feel less than anything, and the knowledge of what a few people see of me now I don't think I could approach any girl.

How is it possible to get a cold with it being 100 degree everyday?

I've been sick on and off for the past 2 weeks.
I had to work today and that was horrible...I already to the work of like 3 people which is my fault, I like to do things a certain way and I've ran off any new people they try to stick me with. Now I just need to rest and get ready to do it all over again tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be a little better by then.

Everything happens for a reason and everything is possible.

I need to work on the second part.

I've never really talked to anyone about this and I was hoping today would go by without thinking about it...

Not too pleasant memories under this.

It's such a beautiful day out today and it got me thinking what could have been. Just wondering how or why I'm looking up at the same sky but this time alone.

Got this in the mail today!


I really don't think I'll ever get a real chance to talk to this girl at work, luckily there is a get together for drinks with people from work in a few weeks and hopefully she'll come. By the way it's for my birthday and for once I'm actually looking forward to it.

So a little over a month ago I noticed this girl at work. I never see her before my shift or after just during when I don't have time to try to talk to her. Up to now it hasn't really bothered me, I made eye contact and smile at her if she walked by and the people I work close with know I have a little bit of a crush on her and give me a hard time. With it being at least 100 degrees everyday the past few months, she was kinda a motivation to want to be at work in the heat, which says how sad my life outside work is, haha. I never thought of approaching her to talking to her or anything because it is at work and I think she is really beautiful. Last night I had a dream about her, first time, and all we did was talk...in a very picturesque setting, starry dark blue sky, green grass, tall trees and sitting on a obscure balcony. It was a very serene dream that would leave me with a horrible feeling when I woke that I wasn't expecting. I was really upset that it was all a dream and I noticed I had only been asleep two hours and the dream is what woke me up. I wasn't expecting that because I thought I only had a crush on her, nothing really big or anything. It left me wondering what if....so I don't really know what to do.

When I finally did get back to sleep I had a dream about Freddy Krueger...I also don't know what to do about that. My plan to kill him wouldn't go off and I got side tracked trying to make it work, it had to do with an oven and making it blow up, so anyway I think he got bored watching me try to blow it up and left. It was so odd going from frightened to frustrated.

Feelin' fine.

I feel so low and worthless right now...I need help or advice but I don't know who to turn to.