IPOD
RADIO
i lurk on the hopefuls and the rejected sc groups. i've found it interesting to follow the topics, and i learn a lot about this site as well as the members. however, lately i've been viewing the second chance sunday album and i've come to understand how difficult it must be to choose sets. certainly not all the sets that have been rejected are terrific; however, enough are to make me appreciate the work the staff does in chosing sets. omg. there might have been a time when i'd have volunteered to help choose the sets. now i understand how difficult it must be. anyway, no one really reads my blog here. and i don't write much. but a big thanks to the staff.
out of the past. i watched this film a couple nights ago. it documents the struggles of kelli peterson and other students in salt lake city. these high school students began a gay straight alliance club at east high school. none of them understood the ramifications of this decision. i won't give up any more. but what makes this film so useful is that it not only documents the students' activities in the mid-nineties, but also reflects on historic figures. i recommend it highly.
after watching the film i did a search to find out more about the students and found out that one, a lovely young man who appeared so warm and joyful, committed suicide a year or so after the film. jacob lawrence orosco was a seventeen year old gay man.
a month or so ago i was visiting with friends when one of them remarked that she wished she wasn't gay, wished she was straight. i was stunned. this from a woman who is active in her community and a lesbian leader. a woman who sets a strong and courageous example to others. why, i wondered, would she wish to be straight when she was so clearly happy?
of course, the reason is that being straight one might never have to give thought to the issues of gender, or sexuality for that matter. it's certainly clear that few straight men give any thought to their privilege and "rightful" place as central. it appears that few straight women give thought to their privilege or place as well. in my experience only those whose sexuality or gender calls into question heterosexism and misogyny unexamined by straight culture. although to do so endangers anyone thus inclined.
earlier today a dear friend shared an experience she'd had recently with a young man whose own ego and strength of character so shallow that he could not ask for help. a day later he and two other men set out to prove themselves superior to my friend, a woman. they found out they were in fact inferior. while they would never admit it, my friend's abilities put the lie to their presumptions of superiority.
how this young man screams at his lover because he feels such a failure and cannot admit it.
yet my other friend would choose to be straight if she could choose. and a dear young man commits suicide.
i grieve tonight for those who feel trapped in the straight jacket (pun intended) of heterosexism. i grieve tonight for my friends who suffer daily at the ugly presumptions of misogyny. i grieve tonight that while we profess respect for individuality and freedom we must constantly be on guard against the potential for violence that might result from our being whomever we truly are.
i grieve tonight that my lover lies alone in providence, or virginia beach, or denver, or los angeles, or kansas city, or salt lake city, and i grieve especially for my lover who lies alone tonight in dillon too frightened to admit he desires to take me in his arms. i grieve tonight.
after watching the film i did a search to find out more about the students and found out that one, a lovely young man who appeared so warm and joyful, committed suicide a year or so after the film. jacob lawrence orosco was a seventeen year old gay man.
a month or so ago i was visiting with friends when one of them remarked that she wished she wasn't gay, wished she was straight. i was stunned. this from a woman who is active in her community and a lesbian leader. a woman who sets a strong and courageous example to others. why, i wondered, would she wish to be straight when she was so clearly happy?
of course, the reason is that being straight one might never have to give thought to the issues of gender, or sexuality for that matter. it's certainly clear that few straight men give any thought to their privilege and "rightful" place as central. it appears that few straight women give thought to their privilege or place as well. in my experience only those whose sexuality or gender calls into question heterosexism and misogyny unexamined by straight culture. although to do so endangers anyone thus inclined.
earlier today a dear friend shared an experience she'd had recently with a young man whose own ego and strength of character so shallow that he could not ask for help. a day later he and two other men set out to prove themselves superior to my friend, a woman. they found out they were in fact inferior. while they would never admit it, my friend's abilities put the lie to their presumptions of superiority.
how this young man screams at his lover because he feels such a failure and cannot admit it.
yet my other friend would choose to be straight if she could choose. and a dear young man commits suicide.
i grieve tonight for those who feel trapped in the straight jacket (pun intended) of heterosexism. i grieve tonight for my friends who suffer daily at the ugly presumptions of misogyny. i grieve tonight that while we profess respect for individuality and freedom we must constantly be on guard against the potential for violence that might result from our being whomever we truly are.
i grieve tonight that my lover lies alone in providence, or virginia beach, or denver, or los angeles, or kansas city, or salt lake city, and i grieve especially for my lover who lies alone tonight in dillon too frightened to admit he desires to take me in his arms. i grieve tonight.
my poem, ""the wondering. woman. sticking," has been accepted for publication in the January, 2008, issue of The Poetry Explosion Newsletter (The Pen). wonderful news for sure.
guess it's my turn to catch the bug so many have spread around. feeling a tad down. coughing, etc.. oh well. earlier i did find hope in the following article. evidently haggard is healed of being homosexual. how dear that is.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070206/ap_on_re_us/haggard_sex_allegations;_ylt=AqgRQCJOL7RePmtwa7_oERGs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTA3OTB1amhuBHNlYwNtdHM-
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070206/ap_on_re_us/haggard_sex_allegations;_ylt=AqgRQCJOL7RePmtwa7_oERGs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTA3OTB1amhuBHNlYwNtdHM-
check out my writing at: http://whyvandalism.kiwibeak.com/issues.html. the first two pieces are mine. it's cool to be in this new ejournal. i think it's going to be a cool site for experimental writing.
today i heard from the editor of a new online journal, "why vandalism?" that they have taken two of my prose poems "this is the true story of the mens room their being no love here.," and "enola gay drops her bomb and love clubs the world to death./violence is love the bomb which is never true.," for inclusion in their first issue due out first part of february.
"Ever since I left the heterosexual scene, I feel less anger." Helene Cixous
(this from the introduction to "'coming to writing,' and other essays," by cixous.)
i have a friend who believes human beings are by nature good, kind and nonviolent. often when she and i talk i find myself wondering what world she lives in_there appears so many instances of violence on a global level that holding to her view seems nearly impossible, and perhaps a bit naive. naturally, i'm not sure she's wrong. she's an incredibly powerful person who lives a life of peace. so at least on a local level she proves her point through her lifestyle.
what strikes me about the citation above is not so much that cixous may be outing herself (to be honest i don't know if she's a lesbian or not, and don't actually care much). however, i understood what she says here. as i've been more willing to be my self unattached to the demands particularly of heterosexism i've been less and less angry. certainly for me at least attempting to find pleasure where there was less and less led me to a mixture of feelings which i kept mostly hidden in my heart, and which when they surfaced most often surfaced as anger.
a friend recently told me that one of the things he enjoys about having me back is the change he sees. he told me i was no longer angry. he's right.
but this got me wondering if at least a portion of the anger exhibited in our world might not arise from the demands of the heterosexist lie on human beings_on men in particular. it's certainly easy enough to locate most of those who dominate in the arena of violence within the confines of ideologies that institute heterosexism as required (with all the laws of behavior that arise from such an institution). bush's christianity evidently has no room for anyone who seeks pleasure outside the rigid confines of heterosexism. in fact, it's accepted by many christians that any lifestyle that isn't heterosexual is not only a sin but needs to be wiped out. evidently this is true for those holding onto a conservative reading of islam as well. no wonder george wants to escalate the war in iraq, and that dear young people continue to strap bombs to their bodies.
i witness anger on a more local level when i visit with friends who are married. most often the marriage (a requirement of heterosexism) has led the two into an arena where resentment and anger appear to have authority. where once two well meaning and delightfully in love people stood now angry and ugly people have taken their place. it's not a stretch to suggest that marriage is one of the areas that nurtures anger, resentment and violence. again, a heterosexual institution that breeds anger and violence.
i look forward to an age when we identify ourselves as post-heterosexual just as inga muscio writes of a post-patriarchal age. something at least to hope for. and perhaps such a time will prove my friend correct in her estimation of human beings relationship with and to peace.
(this from the introduction to "'coming to writing,' and other essays," by cixous.)
i have a friend who believes human beings are by nature good, kind and nonviolent. often when she and i talk i find myself wondering what world she lives in_there appears so many instances of violence on a global level that holding to her view seems nearly impossible, and perhaps a bit naive. naturally, i'm not sure she's wrong. she's an incredibly powerful person who lives a life of peace. so at least on a local level she proves her point through her lifestyle.
what strikes me about the citation above is not so much that cixous may be outing herself (to be honest i don't know if she's a lesbian or not, and don't actually care much). however, i understood what she says here. as i've been more willing to be my self unattached to the demands particularly of heterosexism i've been less and less angry. certainly for me at least attempting to find pleasure where there was less and less led me to a mixture of feelings which i kept mostly hidden in my heart, and which when they surfaced most often surfaced as anger.
a friend recently told me that one of the things he enjoys about having me back is the change he sees. he told me i was no longer angry. he's right.
but this got me wondering if at least a portion of the anger exhibited in our world might not arise from the demands of the heterosexist lie on human beings_on men in particular. it's certainly easy enough to locate most of those who dominate in the arena of violence within the confines of ideologies that institute heterosexism as required (with all the laws of behavior that arise from such an institution). bush's christianity evidently has no room for anyone who seeks pleasure outside the rigid confines of heterosexism. in fact, it's accepted by many christians that any lifestyle that isn't heterosexual is not only a sin but needs to be wiped out. evidently this is true for those holding onto a conservative reading of islam as well. no wonder george wants to escalate the war in iraq, and that dear young people continue to strap bombs to their bodies.
i witness anger on a more local level when i visit with friends who are married. most often the marriage (a requirement of heterosexism) has led the two into an arena where resentment and anger appear to have authority. where once two well meaning and delightfully in love people stood now angry and ugly people have taken their place. it's not a stretch to suggest that marriage is one of the areas that nurtures anger, resentment and violence. again, a heterosexual institution that breeds anger and violence.
i look forward to an age when we identify ourselves as post-heterosexual just as inga muscio writes of a post-patriarchal age. something at least to hope for. and perhaps such a time will prove my friend correct in her estimation of human beings relationship with and to peace.
i came to sg year and half ago after stumbling onto a link to this site while checking out journal and magazine addresses--places to send my writing. it was a cool discovery and i'm not sure i'd have ever found out about sg otherwise. so, i don't expect much response since i suspect only one person ever checks this out; but, how did you happen across this site? just curious how folks find suicide girls.
JUNE 2007
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MAY 2007