Dear lord im bored out of my mind at work. This places smells of hot dogs, feet, mold, piss, and death. There is no reason for a posted guard at a third rate nursing home. The staff doesnt care if we're here or not. They would rather have us stop by maybe a few times a night so they feel comfortable enough to stay asleep like they would normal do when we weren't here. Instead they have to fight to stay awake. I just feel bad for these patients for having lousy nurses, but I also feel bad for some of the nurses having to deal with some of these worthless patients.

I need out of here soon

Im sick of it.... im sick of her.. her complaints, her bitching, her moaning, of every little word that leaves her mouth. And to make things just worse I dont trust her one bit and now she's carrying my unborn child. FUCK!!!! I dont want to see her anymore. I can't stand to be around her. What am i to do?

I've been terrible at keeping up with these danm post! But i got some time to do it now so i guess I'll put something up.

You know you gotta be carefull where you stick you hand at. I was working on the back yard in my new house. Well it's not really new, it's previously owned, but it's our first house. ANYWAY, the back yard has a a lot of weeds and some broken sprinklers so I decided to do a bit of work on one of the sprinklers that broke and made a huge hole in the lawn. I stuck my hand down the whole to check the damage and found that most of the pieces had been burred under dirt so I started digging it out. I found the broken sprinkler head and a few other broken parts. I kept digging further and I felt something odd. It felt rubbery and filled with something. The little rubbery thing felt like it was still stuck so I pulled on it harder. I pulled it a bit more and saw some white under a bit of mud. It looked like a ballon with something in it. I finally got it out of the hole completly and it started moving. All of sudden four legs popped out of it. Then I realized it was a toad I was holding and the white was it's underbelly. Gave me quite a scare.

Well thats all tell next month I guess lol

WOW.... someone did a great and beautiful thing... they renewed my SG account. I dont know who it was, but I GREATLY APPRECIATE IT!!!! Much love to whoever did it. I'd like to know who did it, but they wanted to remain annonymouse. Its great to know that there are still kind and generous people out there in the world. Once again thank you to whoever renewed my account

PS Happy V-Day to everyone

Damn it's been a while since I posted anything on here, months actually. Just been to busy and I haven't had a personal Internet connection in a while, but now that's chandged since I got my iTouch. Now I can just log on with this rather then the company computers. I don't think corporate would like it very much if this was what I was using my work resources for LOL. Well I got a lot exploring to do, it looks like some changes have been made. Tell next time. Hopefully it won't be months again.

YAY!!! finally got my own laptop only costed me 1500 lol... dont matter i love it

WOW last night was strange.... it was labor day so usually that means the ED is going to busy late at night... nope.. i stared my round in the BooKoo... our census was zero for the first two hrs tell we got our first 5150. I got out to Red Zone and EMS had a code blue for us which they had to call a few min later. So now i had to standby with the social worker while she informed the brother. about another hr later we get an MVA.... SURPRISE!!! DRIVER WAS DRUNK. Split the car on a K Rail. Driver Ejected and has a few injuries not really two bad but bad enough to be sent to trauma. Passenger not so lucky. Broken Femur, Tib, Fib, and skull fracture. Then the rest of the night was a breeze of nothing. A few more 5150 to the BooKoo but nothing out of the ordinary but we'll prob get slammed tonight though.

Day before though... a young one comes in early 20's out having fun with his friends and a few other he just met. Pops some drugs... collapses on the dance floor... Code Blue... work him for about 20min and call it. John Doe and the moment. We look for ID of any sort, NOTHING. EMS only has one name.... we'll call him James... no last.. I get a heads up over my radio of party of six coming to the ED looking for there friend who was brought in by EMS after having a seizure at the club. It's the guy that just died, James. One of the other officers ask them what his last name is and for a house number or something. No idea they say... just met him from myspace to go out and party. Do to HIPPA we cant say anything to them since they are not family. James has a cell phone so i ask for it. Nurse says why... house number, mom, dad.... duh.... oh yeah... i turn it on. Kid had a got damn passcode for the lock. WHO THE FUCK STILL DOES THAT!!! same thing was said by 20 ppl when they ask if i found a number for family. So no go. I go find out if any of the kids have his cell phone number. one says ya... i take it.... decide i call his phone answer it while call is connected activate 3 way and i have access to his numbers to call family... i call phone, phone dosen't light up and it keeps ringing... i hang up. i look at the number... same number where my uncle lives... we have a house number... we blow it up for a bit but no one picks up. so a fellow officer and nurse say reverse look up. call 411 and get an address. so were moving WRONG!!!! PD doesn't want to make the contact with the residents of the address...and neither do james new found friends ....OH YEAH... James real friends bailed on him and only myspace friends came to the hospital. WOW great friends ha!?!!?!?!?! So someone finally makes contact with the family telling them there son was taken to the hospital... Mind you they have no idea he's dead and its 4hrs later. Parents show up get the news he's dead. so security is called... thats me.... why cause there spanish speaking and we want to avoid any problems due to emotional state and language barriers. So now i have escort the parents and our social worker to the viewing room. I didn't really feel for the kid... it was a sad situation but he knew the risk of taking drugs and he still did it. but i did feel for the family. Rig had set in and his limbs where sadley not in the most natural positions and he still had his tube down his throat. just after that whole thing we get a lady through the ED public entrance who just had a baby on the way come in. She's in the back seat no idea how long ago she gave birth... imbelicole (i know its spelled wrong) cord still attached, and the baby isn't moving or crying. Obviously not a good sign. we get medical staff rush her back to Red Zone where there taking care of baby starts to cry... good sign now and all this is happening across from where someone just died.

busy, crazy, tiring, stressful night , but lets you stop and reflect a bit and put your problems into prospective... gf just broke up with me and i really really really really liked her... not ready to say the four letter word to her but getting there and she brakes up with me because she feels im not over my ex which i am but no way to prove it. but it was all put into prospective... it's not the worst thing in the world... im still alive, i still healthy, i have a great job i love, i can move on.

Just got back from church.... lol.... but not your average church CRMC Church, which is either The Brig or Skylight bar. It's our time to sit have beer and let all of the night shit come out. We have to deal with drunks, ppl on whatever drug (pot, heroin, meth, pcp). Our MVAs, stabbing, GSW's, or just whatever fucked up and tragic thing rolls in through in our doors. And to breath a sigh a relief to not have to see one of our own and or one of our loved ones be rolled in coding and having and EMT on the gurney pumping there chest trying to bring them back. Which i believe is EVERYONE's biggest fear when you work the ED and especially Trauma. I actually found my aunt in the green zone last week, which got me worried but relieved it was the green zone and not red or trauma.

we actually lost one of our frequent flyers the other night... Mr. Donald Spears.... i just met the guy for the first time about two weeks ago and now he is gone. This is what the local paper posted.....A 72-year- old man in a wheelchair was killed Friday night when he was
struck by a sport utility vehicle on Divisidero at Effie in central
Fresno. Fresno police Lt. Joyce Vasquez said the man in the wheelchair was
in the roadway about 10:45 p.m.when a vehicle approached and swerved
to miss him. But a second motorist who did not see the man struck the
wheelchair. The victim, who was not identified, was taken to Community
Medical Center, where he was pronounced dead...... Dude was and asshole and a heroin addict.. but either way still a loss regardless. Staff even noticed he was nice for once to everyone which struck everyone as strange for those that new the guy. The guy was released not even 15min and came back to us coding and later pronounced dead. Not the best human being but still a tragedy. All we can hope is he can find the peace he never got here.

BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY BUSY ! ! ! ! ! !

work has really kept me busy lately. I also started seeing a nurse from work as well so i got that going on as well. she's a really great woman, a bit older but great. I also try to spend as much time with my baby nephew and friends. I learned from work that anything can happen at any time. Being the number one trauma hospital between the grape vine and stockton there is a really good chance someone i know will roll in on a gurney while im working. its a really scary and unsettling feeling but i still like my job. I hope everyone is good and hope to be able to talk to everyone a little more often.

it's light out for me now.. one more day and its saturday

Some people are a wast of time, space and blood!

i know it sounds bad, but it's just true. They just abuse and abuse the system. And for what so they can get there fix, get a place to sleep and sometimes just for some damn attention. And they never end up paying for shit. Thats why our medical system is screwed the fuck up. They never come in for anything real. They know how to use they system. Always the same damn lines; I have pain in my abdomin or so said place, I hear voices, I feel like hurting myself or others. I know there are people who need help and you can spot them. They take there medication, they see the people there supposed, and or they do there follow ups. But some just come in saying they hear this or wanna do that and after they get their fix and all of a sudden they're ok or they couldn't find anything on the scans. I've seen the ones that need help and they get it with a lot of appreciation.

oh and then you got the worthless pieces of trash that PD, FSO, CDC and other law enforcement drag in. Again you can tell which ones are the ones that just had a brain fart and got caught from the ones that just decide there fucking badasses. WHY IN THE FUCK WOULD YOU EVEN THINK IT TO BE COOL OR JUST A GOOD IDEA TO TATTOO OF A BULLDOG ON CHEEK AND THEN GET SANGER TATTOOED OVER THE TOP OF YOUR FUCKING HEAD!!!!! I have little to no sympathy to gang members. I know there are those that make mistakes and learn. Then there are just the ones that aren't worth shit. except for target practice... now i don't mean with regular bullets... rubber bullets. There willing to kill. If your willing to kill you should be ready to die. They're willing to die for the street, block, city or whatever. Then let them be willing to die. I'm just tired of all this bull. They think police is bad and this is all fucked up. There the ones that are fucking things up so fuck them up.

i know i just sound like an asshole and what not but i see the problem and what can be done. I'm just tired of seeing all the pain and problems they cause for everyone else. i see all night every night at work day in day out.

sorry for my little rant and if i have offended anyone but i just need to vent

To all the fathers have Happy Fathers day and i hope everyone is have a good weekend .