Holy fucko, I sure am lazy! AND I need a new pic. I spend slightly more time on myspace, so check there for more pics!
What's new? I've had the last 2 months off from roller derby, so I feel lethargic & out of shape. I got a new tattoo that one day I promise to take a picture of. I'm going to see Evil Dead the Musical in NYC 2nite. And I'm in the 3rd row. I got engaged on Friday, October 13. It's cool, but everyone seems to think it's way more exciting than we do. We haven't even set a date. The ring is wicked-cool, tho... it's platinum & from 1910. We found it on eBay. I think it would be funny to have a wedding in South Jersey while being 8 months pregnant, but no one else seems to like that idea.
Next month, I'm going to Philly Tattoo convention, Wicked Faire, and the Monster Mania Horror Convention. In March I'll prolly drop dead from too much social interaction.
So I have a house now... and now my mom is harassing me to come get my shit from her house. We're talking like 5 boxes or so. That's pretty harsh in my opinion. But whatever, I'll drag myself down there to get them. On the next holiday, that is!
Okay, I need to start getting ready for 2nite.
What's new? I've had the last 2 months off from roller derby, so I feel lethargic & out of shape. I got a new tattoo that one day I promise to take a picture of. I'm going to see Evil Dead the Musical in NYC 2nite. And I'm in the 3rd row. I got engaged on Friday, October 13. It's cool, but everyone seems to think it's way more exciting than we do. We haven't even set a date. The ring is wicked-cool, tho... it's platinum & from 1910. We found it on eBay. I think it would be funny to have a wedding in South Jersey while being 8 months pregnant, but no one else seems to like that idea.
Next month, I'm going to Philly Tattoo convention, Wicked Faire, and the Monster Mania Horror Convention. In March I'll prolly drop dead from too much social interaction.
So I have a house now... and now my mom is harassing me to come get my shit from her house. We're talking like 5 boxes or so. That's pretty harsh in my opinion. But whatever, I'll drag myself down there to get them. On the next holiday, that is!
Okay, I need to start getting ready for 2nite.
Have things cleared up? Yes & no. In the stretch of time out of a relationship, I had a couple super-sweet infatuations, complete with text messages, goofy grins, & LOTS of laughter. 
And now that the infatuations are over, a couple of really good friends.
But as it turns out, I'm not ready to walk away from that long relationship. People have been telling me I'm stupid, but I know I'm doing the rite thing. People make mistakes... I sure as hell do. HE made a mistake, but I believe that it wasn't intentional.
I feel like I would've always wondered whether or not he was sincere... so I figure the best way to find out is to give it another shot. If it goes wrong again, at least I'll know for sure.
And now that the infatuations are over, a couple of really good friends. But as it turns out, I'm not ready to walk away from that long relationship. People have been telling me I'm stupid, but I know I'm doing the rite thing. People make mistakes... I sure as hell do. HE made a mistake, but I believe that it wasn't intentional.
I feel like I would've always wondered whether or not he was sincere... so I figure the best way to find out is to give it another shot. If it goes wrong again, at least I'll know for sure.
So... no HTML in these damn things? Oh well, I guess go 2 my
myspace page for up-2-date general info. But at the same time, there are things I can post here that I cannot post there.
I feel pretty lost rite now. I don't know where I should be or what I should be doing. I have a job that I quite like, but sometimes I wish it were more intellectually challenging. I wish the students were harder to win over and that I had secret agendas. Too bad I'm a terrible liar.
As far as relationships go, I'm no longer in one, and it's been almost 9 years since I can say that. I thought it would be more exciting than it actually is. It turns out that I'm much different now that I was back then; now I kind of mind waking up who-knows-where with somebody I know nothing about.
Rite now, I'm more interested in the sweetness of a relationship. "Typical girl" is prolly what you are thinking, but before I fell in love for the first time, I was heartless & wild. (And something of a legend for those who knew about it.)
I'm interested in getting to wear that goofy grin for no reason, acts of kindness, random text messages that lets me know they're thinking of me, hearing all about their life experiences, and lots and lots and lots of laughter.
Maybe this is one of the stages you go thru when coming out of a relationship, but I don't think so. I'm just different. I've tested all kinds of waters and I've got nothing to prove to anyone. It's not that I know exactly who I am and what I'm about... it's that I've finally accepted the fact that there is no way to describe or predict me. And that's okay.
I'll assert something, and then 5 minutes later wonder if that's really the case, and do the complete opposite of what I just said just so I can analyze myself. I can spend weeks planning something nice for someone, but I can also be thoughtless and say something I shouldn't have. I fall in love way too easy, and know it.... but rather than try to prevent it, it's easier to just hate myself as I allow it to happen. I'm both a slob and a clean-freak; untouchable and very vulnerable; very smart and veeeerrrry stupid.
Fuck it, you know? Life is short. I need someone who can embrace my many faults and allow me to embrace theirs. Because I will....and forever, if they let me.
Oh, and ask me about this in an hour.... and I'll tell you something totally different.
myspace page for up-2-date general info. But at the same time, there are things I can post here that I cannot post there.
I feel pretty lost rite now. I don't know where I should be or what I should be doing. I have a job that I quite like, but sometimes I wish it were more intellectually challenging. I wish the students were harder to win over and that I had secret agendas. Too bad I'm a terrible liar.
As far as relationships go, I'm no longer in one, and it's been almost 9 years since I can say that. I thought it would be more exciting than it actually is. It turns out that I'm much different now that I was back then; now I kind of mind waking up who-knows-where with somebody I know nothing about.
Rite now, I'm more interested in the sweetness of a relationship. "Typical girl" is prolly what you are thinking, but before I fell in love for the first time, I was heartless & wild. (And something of a legend for those who knew about it.)
I'm interested in getting to wear that goofy grin for no reason, acts of kindness, random text messages that lets me know they're thinking of me, hearing all about their life experiences, and lots and lots and lots of laughter.
Maybe this is one of the stages you go thru when coming out of a relationship, but I don't think so. I'm just different. I've tested all kinds of waters and I've got nothing to prove to anyone. It's not that I know exactly who I am and what I'm about... it's that I've finally accepted the fact that there is no way to describe or predict me. And that's okay.
I'll assert something, and then 5 minutes later wonder if that's really the case, and do the complete opposite of what I just said just so I can analyze myself. I can spend weeks planning something nice for someone, but I can also be thoughtless and say something I shouldn't have. I fall in love way too easy, and know it.... but rather than try to prevent it, it's easier to just hate myself as I allow it to happen. I'm both a slob and a clean-freak; untouchable and very vulnerable; very smart and veeeerrrry stupid.
Fuck it, you know? Life is short. I need someone who can embrace my many faults and allow me to embrace theirs. Because I will....and forever, if they let me.
Oh, and ask me about this in an hour.... and I'll tell you something totally different.
I am utterly terrible about keeping up with this site. For one thing, it takes a while to load for me, and I really don't like it. Sure, it looks cool.... but I have the attention span of a gnat.
Roller Derby is keeping me very busy... I've been going to the gym as much as possible to improve physically.... I REALLY want to play well during our game August 6.
I've also got some new friends that I've been spending a lot of time with.... it's so interesting showing up in a group of already established friends. Figuring out the dynamics of who likes who.... and who secretly hates who. Who persists in liking me even tho I've made it abundantly clear I have a bf and can't go much beyond some innocent flirting. And of course who gets mad at me for showing up and stealing all of the men.
How they relate, and how they fight... what's funny and what isn't. It would be much easier if they didn't expect me to participate.
I've never encountered secret hatreds within a group of close-knit friends before. It's truly bizarre. Of course, I really like the guy I'm supposed to hate along with everyone else. Apparently, he stole someone's gf in the past, yet they "made up" and still continue to hang out.
I think he's hilarious... and I have no bad history with him..... so why should I care? He makes me laugh to the point of tears... and that's the most impressive someone can be in my book. Yet, I continue to receive "veiled threats" from the other guys in the group about "falling prey" to his charms. I'm not trying to fuck the guy... I just enjoy his company.
I can't post this on myspace because they're all on there. I rather enjoy feeling like I'm in high school again.
Roller Derby is keeping me very busy... I've been going to the gym as much as possible to improve physically.... I REALLY want to play well during our game August 6.
I've also got some new friends that I've been spending a lot of time with.... it's so interesting showing up in a group of already established friends. Figuring out the dynamics of who likes who.... and who secretly hates who. Who persists in liking me even tho I've made it abundantly clear I have a bf and can't go much beyond some innocent flirting. And of course who gets mad at me for showing up and stealing all of the men.
How they relate, and how they fight... what's funny and what isn't. It would be much easier if they didn't expect me to participate.
I've never encountered secret hatreds within a group of close-knit friends before. It's truly bizarre. Of course, I really like the guy I'm supposed to hate along with everyone else. Apparently, he stole someone's gf in the past, yet they "made up" and still continue to hang out.
I think he's hilarious... and I have no bad history with him..... so why should I care? He makes me laugh to the point of tears... and that's the most impressive someone can be in my book. Yet, I continue to receive "veiled threats" from the other guys in the group about "falling prey" to his charms. I'm not trying to fuck the guy... I just enjoy his company.
I can't post this on myspace because they're all on there. I rather enjoy feeling like I'm in high school again.
There's a comicon next weekend in Philly, and I really wanna go, but not so much that I want to walk around by myself! One of my derby teammates may come with, and I hope she does. A BUNCH of people I know are going Friday, but I can't take off work. A couple hardcore people are going all weekend, but they'll be playing games, and I'm sure it gets pretty intense. 
Not that I can REALLY make fun of them, because I just pre-ordered a Horrorclix brick.
Not that I can REALLY make fun of them, because I just pre-ordered a Horrorclix brick.
So I spent Friday & most of today at Monster Mania "promoting" my roller derby league. We weren't really dressed up except for having on our league tank tops & our roller skates, but we still a big hit. Of course I didn't sell a single ticket, but I sold plenty of t-shirts and took pictures with a lot of creepy old men. I still shudder when I remember the sensation of one guy's sweaty hand on my arm. Two guys actually high-fived each other after taking a pic with me. Another guy said he'd seen me for "years" and had always wanted a picture with me. I think I followed the correct instinct by NOT asking anyone to elaborate.
I'm a pretty shitty salesperson... I can draw people over, but I generally loathe smalltalk. After about 3 hours, I lose my ability to chat and can only glare.
Fortunately, some college friends showed up both days to keep me company... otherwise there's no way I could've stayed as long as I did. Brian, Tony, and his friend John all did their unique parts to keep me entertained. Brian pulled me around on my skates and teased the child actors, while Tony and John shamelessly indulged my predilection for tearing apart the sadder members of the crowd. Man... we even insulted a fucking baby. Good times, guys!!!
I came home and crashed on the couch as if I'd done something physically exhausting all day. Although... it IS rather exhausting skating on carpet all day. My legs are killing me!! I need a leg rub before I go back to sleep.
Another guy said he'd seen me for "years" and had always wanted a picture with me. I think I followed the correct instinct by NOT asking anyone to elaborate. I'm a pretty shitty salesperson... I can draw people over, but I generally loathe smalltalk. After about 3 hours, I lose my ability to chat and can only glare.
Fortunately, some college friends showed up both days to keep me company... otherwise there's no way I could've stayed as long as I did. Brian, Tony, and his friend John all did their unique parts to keep me entertained. Brian pulled me around on my skates and teased the child actors, while Tony and John shamelessly indulged my predilection for tearing apart the sadder members of the crowd. Man... we even insulted a fucking baby. Good times, guys!!!
I came home and crashed on the couch as if I'd done something physically exhausting all day. Although... it IS rather exhausting skating on carpet all day. My legs are killing me!! I need a leg rub before I go back to sleep.
