You know you reach a point where it doesn't matter anymore. Where all you want is someone to hold in your arms. The infinite fires of damnation would be nearly as good. anything to save me from the purgatory of apathy that has overtaken my will to even try. My soul is flaccid. I cant even find a reason to move. Even after all the pills and scotch the empty tranquility of sleep will not come and invigorate me with the promise of a new day. I have always felt that growth comes from change but the flesh lacks the will to do anything except be warm and burn. I found myself cutting the other day because i had hope.. but the hope was false because it only led to the emptiness of knowing i would quit before the task had even started. One simple embrace would be all I need to fuel the stary dynamos and make me into the machinery of night.. yet still i wallow and the best of my mind destroyed by madness starving hysterically naked.
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