Argh...shit...well I still suck at updating and all that jazz. I guess Ill try to update at least once a month. Lets see if my slacker ass can at least keep that promise. Ah, who the fuck am I kidding, promises from me are like assurances from alcoholic stepfathers, complete shit.
I was going to change my profile pic a while ago but I got shown so much love for my current one Ive decided to keep it. I got like two journal comments and one whole thread comment. Okay, well so that is more attention on the internets than Im used to, fucking sue me.
I vaguely remember saying that nothing is going on in my sad little life in a few past entries. However for me this has become the case more and more. I was planning on taking a few classes this quarter but it turns out there was only like one class I needed to take. Sadly the time I wanted to take it was all full and shit. So basically I havent been doing much of anything. I admittedly have been fucking up quite a bit lately, which leads to...
So I got this call from my parents on Monday saying that they thought I was depressed and that I should talk to someone. I was fucking speechless. It is a common belief on many fronts that there is something wrong with me, this is nothing new. This particular outreach was however a complete mindfuck. As blown away by this as I was I thought their reasons were complete bullshit. Over the last four years since I moved out they have accused me of being involved in and with several unsavory things, all of which about they have been dead fucking wrong. They, like many people, simply dont fucking get me. For this reason I choose to ignore their concerns. Ass.
This isnt really a big deal, but I decided to update my favorite SGs a bit. Some because they went bye bye, others because they dont seem to have as much of a presence on the site. Not that I blame them, I just like my favorites to show their hot nakedness and their personalities in semi-frequent entries. Anyway, it kind of sucks having to choose only five, I could easily pick twenty. Man...even though I didnt know her at all, I really miss Katie. I mean really, I wanted to have babies with her. Why? Just...why?
Ive always loved Halloween and the season it was contained in for much, if not all, of my young life. I mean, what other time of year is death, the paranormal, and the greatness that is candy celebrated. Sadly, the last few years I havent really done much this time of year. I usually had class those nights and me being a nice little tool and those classes only meeting once a week I didnt want to skip, so I obviously missed the badass Halloween festivities. Maybe someday the time of year that I identified with the most will come to hold more meaning in my life like it once did.
Blah fucking blah, I think there was other crap I was going to write about, but I dont recall what it all was right now. Whatever. Maybe Ill remember in a few days and post another of my super kickass entries. Yeah, I know, this was a really half-assed, but I wanted to at least put up something. Oh oh, maybe Ill have something hot and consisting of much debauchery to post after Halloween. Its probably safe to say Im more hopeful of this than you. Im so fucking lonely.
In closing, I love you my dear booze. You are the one thing that never lets me down or annoys me. May our young relationship always stay pure and exclusive from those that inevitably lead to month long stints in rehab.
P.S. I just noticed that Katie isnt in the pulldown menu of the girls anymore. Rather than have her seemingly disappear Im going to keep her in my favorites even though she isnt active anymore. If that doesnt convince her to have my babies I dont know what will.
I was going to change my profile pic a while ago but I got shown so much love for my current one Ive decided to keep it. I got like two journal comments and one whole thread comment. Okay, well so that is more attention on the internets than Im used to, fucking sue me.
I vaguely remember saying that nothing is going on in my sad little life in a few past entries. However for me this has become the case more and more. I was planning on taking a few classes this quarter but it turns out there was only like one class I needed to take. Sadly the time I wanted to take it was all full and shit. So basically I havent been doing much of anything. I admittedly have been fucking up quite a bit lately, which leads to...
So I got this call from my parents on Monday saying that they thought I was depressed and that I should talk to someone. I was fucking speechless. It is a common belief on many fronts that there is something wrong with me, this is nothing new. This particular outreach was however a complete mindfuck. As blown away by this as I was I thought their reasons were complete bullshit. Over the last four years since I moved out they have accused me of being involved in and with several unsavory things, all of which about they have been dead fucking wrong. They, like many people, simply dont fucking get me. For this reason I choose to ignore their concerns. Ass.
This isnt really a big deal, but I decided to update my favorite SGs a bit. Some because they went bye bye, others because they dont seem to have as much of a presence on the site. Not that I blame them, I just like my favorites to show their hot nakedness and their personalities in semi-frequent entries. Anyway, it kind of sucks having to choose only five, I could easily pick twenty. Man...even though I didnt know her at all, I really miss Katie. I mean really, I wanted to have babies with her. Why? Just...why?
Ive always loved Halloween and the season it was contained in for much, if not all, of my young life. I mean, what other time of year is death, the paranormal, and the greatness that is candy celebrated. Sadly, the last few years I havent really done much this time of year. I usually had class those nights and me being a nice little tool and those classes only meeting once a week I didnt want to skip, so I obviously missed the badass Halloween festivities. Maybe someday the time of year that I identified with the most will come to hold more meaning in my life like it once did.
Blah fucking blah, I think there was other crap I was going to write about, but I dont recall what it all was right now. Whatever. Maybe Ill remember in a few days and post another of my super kickass entries. Yeah, I know, this was a really half-assed, but I wanted to at least put up something. Oh oh, maybe Ill have something hot and consisting of much debauchery to post after Halloween. Its probably safe to say Im more hopeful of this than you. Im so fucking lonely.
In closing, I love you my dear booze. You are the one thing that never lets me down or annoys me. May our young relationship always stay pure and exclusive from those that inevitably lead to month long stints in rehab.
P.S. I just noticed that Katie isnt in the pulldown menu of the girls anymore. Rather than have her seemingly disappear Im going to keep her in my favorites even though she isnt active anymore. If that doesnt convince her to have my babies I dont know what will.
I guess Im not doing so well updating and replying more frequently like I said I wanted to. Yeah, sad to say there isnt really anything going on in my life. I really did want to start updating more, but Ive always heard you should write what you know, and all I know is mindnumbing boredom mixed with lengthy bouts of frantic squirrel-like masturbation. I prefer to keep the latter to myself thank you.
Ahhh...I dont check this site for one day and you go and make it all crazy looking....what the fuck?!? The new layout gave me a huge headache at first, but I guess it is okay. Here is my expert critique for the powers that be: Over all I like the layout. I like the idea of sets every 6 hrs. (2 every 24 hrs. was too few, but 2 every 12 hrs. was too much of a good thing) and the member journal update section, but would like to see a more in depth news section on the front page. Take that horse plop for what it is worth. Im sure there is a thread about the new format but Im too fucking lazy to look for that, so, yeah.
If my memory serves me right and if journal updates count towards your thread comment count, then this is my 666th post. All I have to say is ...
Ahhh...I dont check this site for one day and you go and make it all crazy looking....what the fuck?!? The new layout gave me a huge headache at first, but I guess it is okay. Here is my expert critique for the powers that be: Over all I like the layout. I like the idea of sets every 6 hrs. (2 every 24 hrs. was too few, but 2 every 12 hrs. was too much of a good thing) and the member journal update section, but would like to see a more in depth news section on the front page. Take that horse plop for what it is worth. Im sure there is a thread about the new format but Im too fucking lazy to look for that, so, yeah.
If my memory serves me right and if journal updates count towards your thread comment count, then this is my 666th post. All I have to say is ...
Usually school starts the second to last week, but for some reason this fall it starts the last week of September. That means I have an extra week to do absolutely nothing, which kinda sorta takes me to my next point, I have now completely turned into a crazy hermit. I guess Ive always been a bit of a loner but it seems that slowly over the last few years my inclination has turned into more of a compulsion. I know I would probably be happier overall if I broke out of my rut (maybe) but I just dont know how to do that, which kinda sorta takes me to another point in the weird rut department, my sleep schedule is all fucked up again. I was keeping rather normal hours for two weeks or so and was pretty hopeful that it would stick. Now it is back in the crazy apeshit spectrum and it is pretty annoying. I think that is one of my biggest problems, my sleep that is. I have basically no structure in my life, so keeping regular hours is hard to do. Things started getting bad a few years ago but now that shit is just straight fucking bananas. I kind of know that I just need to get into some kind of...er...I dont know what. I mean, I know I need some sort of structure or sanity or regularity, but I dont know what that would be exactly or where the fuck to find it. And yeah, I know, Im the king of half-assed segues.
I have a question, what the fuck are the point of crushes? I mean seriously, getting all weird and gooey over somebody you dont really know can be a pain in the ass. Ive had many crushes over many, at the time, special people over the years. They always seem to end abruptly and often leave me wondering what the fuck the point was to all the wasted time and various bodily fluids. I dont know, maybe Im retarded and just get crushes more than others. And no, Im not talking about anybody on this site if that is what you were thinking.
Here is another question, does it make me a complete loser that I am happy the new television season has started? Ill finally find out what is in that motherfucking hatch on "Lost". There are new episodes of "The Office" to watch and feel oddly pretentious by doing so. I can finally see if all those overly hyped new shows are as lame as they first appear. Man, I am such a tv addict. It has to be the stupidest, most childish, lame ass addiction ever. Seriously, watching this much tv cant possibly be healthy.
If I had to describe my overall mood these days I guess it would be one part depressed and one part anxious, which I know makes all sorts of nonsense. Im in this weird place where Im oddly confused about what the fuck I want to or should be doing big picture-wise. Sometimes the confusion and lack of direction makes me depressed and feel helpless. Other times I feel anxious to fix all the things I dont like in my life but dont know where to begin. Wow, I guess Ive kind of self-psychoanalyzed myself into figuring out that I need to find direction and meaning in my life.
Yeah, thats right, Im sooo totally that emo. 
Im going to go listen to some Dashboard and cry myself to sleep. But first Im going to leave myself a testimonial about how super awesome I am. Go me.
I wasn't planning on updating tonight but what the hell. I'm bored, drunk (again) and watching The Tailor of Panama on CBS. Good times.
Nothing really exciting has been going on. School has been over since the end of June and doesn't start again until September 20ish. I'm not really planning on taking anything other than general ed. crap for transfer. I'm leaning towards taking the bare minimum to complete my transfer and then just take a year or so off from school. I am so tired of school and have very little ambition left. Hopefully taking some time away from school will reinvigorate me and help me get back on track. Or not, who knows.
Yep, it was my 24th birthday on Tuesday. It went pretty well. By pretty well I mean I wasn't super depressed about another year passing me by with nothing to show for it. I didn't do anything super special, but I was in a pretty good mood which is something particularly special. Usually I feel pretty shitty for my birthday. No, I'm not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me. It just feels like I should be showing some kind of progress in my life. It seems that the more years go by, the farther behind I fall. Oh well, I guess that isn't anyone's fault but my own. Fuck me.
Yes, oh yes, I did change my profile pic again. Yes, that is Freakazoid and Sgt. Cosgrove eating snowcones, don't deny your jealousy. Holy shit, wasn't Freakazoid the coolest show ever. It's right up there with Sifl & Olly in the kickassedness department...Chester and the bubbles...good times...good times.
Shit, I have become such a slacker in seeing movies lately. In the theater I haven't seen anything since Resident Evil: Apocalypse in Sept. 2004 and Batman Begins twice. I recently saw that there was like one place still playing Star Wars Episode III in the area and still I haven't seen that. Maybe in a few days I'll catch that geeky motherbitch. It really sucks when you totally forget about stuff you want to see and don't hear about it until the DVD comes out. Fuck! Ass!
I'd very much like to thank those again who wished me a happy birthday, you badasses are the cat's meow, for reals.
I really haven't been doing anything lately other than sleep like twelve to fourteen hours a day and wander around drooling like I've been severly lobotomized. There are a few things I'm mildly looking forward to in September (a free concert, which is cool 'cuz my ass be poor now) and other shit that I can't remember right now.
I guess there isn't anything to say other than, later, and stay tuned. Same cracked time...same cracked channel. Dunah dunah duuuuuuhn.
Nothing really exciting has been going on. School has been over since the end of June and doesn't start again until September 20ish. I'm not really planning on taking anything other than general ed. crap for transfer. I'm leaning towards taking the bare minimum to complete my transfer and then just take a year or so off from school. I am so tired of school and have very little ambition left. Hopefully taking some time away from school will reinvigorate me and help me get back on track. Or not, who knows.
Yep, it was my 24th birthday on Tuesday. It went pretty well. By pretty well I mean I wasn't super depressed about another year passing me by with nothing to show for it. I didn't do anything super special, but I was in a pretty good mood which is something particularly special. Usually I feel pretty shitty for my birthday. No, I'm not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me. It just feels like I should be showing some kind of progress in my life. It seems that the more years go by, the farther behind I fall. Oh well, I guess that isn't anyone's fault but my own. Fuck me.
Yes, oh yes, I did change my profile pic again. Yes, that is Freakazoid and Sgt. Cosgrove eating snowcones, don't deny your jealousy. Holy shit, wasn't Freakazoid the coolest show ever. It's right up there with Sifl & Olly in the kickassedness department...Chester and the bubbles...good times...good times.
Shit, I have become such a slacker in seeing movies lately. In the theater I haven't seen anything since Resident Evil: Apocalypse in Sept. 2004 and Batman Begins twice. I recently saw that there was like one place still playing Star Wars Episode III in the area and still I haven't seen that. Maybe in a few days I'll catch that geeky motherbitch. It really sucks when you totally forget about stuff you want to see and don't hear about it until the DVD comes out. Fuck! Ass!
I'd very much like to thank those again who wished me a happy birthday, you badasses are the cat's meow, for reals.
I really haven't been doing anything lately other than sleep like twelve to fourteen hours a day and wander around drooling like I've been severly lobotomized. There are a few things I'm mildly looking forward to in September (a free concert, which is cool 'cuz my ass be poor now) and other shit that I can't remember right now.
I guess there isn't anything to say other than, later, and stay tuned. Same cracked time...same cracked channel. Dunah dunah duuuuuuhn.
Oh yeah, there is nothing like getting wasted at home alone on green apple Zima and blasting AFI. I sure know how to par-tay.
Have any of you ever been really obsessed with something only to have the obsession end and wonder why you ever obsessed in the first place. I've been feeling this more and more recently. This includes both certain people and certain inanimate objects. It always ends in feeling like you've wasted a huge amount of time. I guess there is a lesson in this, like, don't obsess over stupid shit or something. That is usually easier said than done of course.
Xangagizmo, I hope you didn't puke in the shower again. Oh yeah, I keep forgetting to tell you, but I think I know what that shirt J got you means. If I'm right we'll both feel retarded for what we originally thought it meant.
I have a really good feeling that The Devil's Rejects is going to be a really creepy movie. I saw Rob Zombie on Conan the other day and the short clip they showed was scarier than most entire "horror" movies that have come out recently. I'm waiting to be scared by a movie because I haven't been scared by one in a very long time. Being really scared makes me wet. I mean seriously, I'm begging to be scared. My non-SG friend Xangagizmo knows this chick that worked at a hotel and said she felt this ghost in a room she was resting in. The first thing I thought was that I need to spend some time in this haunted room. Scary = the fun for crackedhead.
The other day I was bored so I read through all my past entries and past comments. I totally feel like an asshat for not replying to most of my past comments. I'd do it now, but the right time has most certainly passed. Anyway, sorry about that. Maybe someday I'll be more proactive about that kind of shit. My bad.
Hopefully I'll get around to updating this shit on more of a regular basis. My life is still rather uneventful, but rambling to strangers makes me feel like a big important guy. Argh, this whole post is really pointless, but I just like posting when I'm drunk.
P.S. I think I have a crush on Sid. Please don't tell her though because I'm a shy little dork.
Have any of you ever been really obsessed with something only to have the obsession end and wonder why you ever obsessed in the first place. I've been feeling this more and more recently. This includes both certain people and certain inanimate objects. It always ends in feeling like you've wasted a huge amount of time. I guess there is a lesson in this, like, don't obsess over stupid shit or something. That is usually easier said than done of course.
Xangagizmo, I hope you didn't puke in the shower again. Oh yeah, I keep forgetting to tell you, but I think I know what that shirt J got you means. If I'm right we'll both feel retarded for what we originally thought it meant.
I have a really good feeling that The Devil's Rejects is going to be a really creepy movie. I saw Rob Zombie on Conan the other day and the short clip they showed was scarier than most entire "horror" movies that have come out recently. I'm waiting to be scared by a movie because I haven't been scared by one in a very long time. Being really scared makes me wet. I mean seriously, I'm begging to be scared. My non-SG friend Xangagizmo knows this chick that worked at a hotel and said she felt this ghost in a room she was resting in. The first thing I thought was that I need to spend some time in this haunted room. Scary = the fun for crackedhead.
The other day I was bored so I read through all my past entries and past comments. I totally feel like an asshat for not replying to most of my past comments. I'd do it now, but the right time has most certainly passed. Anyway, sorry about that. Maybe someday I'll be more proactive about that kind of shit. My bad.
Hopefully I'll get around to updating this shit on more of a regular basis. My life is still rather uneventful, but rambling to strangers makes me feel like a big important guy. Argh, this whole post is really pointless, but I just like posting when I'm drunk.
P.S. I think I have a crush on Sid. Please don't tell her though because I'm a shy little dork.
I don't really have anything super important to say, I just feel like venting. Everything is so fucking boring right now, and that is saying something because I don't get bored very easily. I'm one of those weirdos who can sit in their home for a couple of weeks straight with no outside contact and not get stir crazy. However for some reason lately I have been getting kind of bored. I guess downloading porn and watching infommercials is starting to get old.
I keep getting tempted by that dating status thing. I am single and I can't help but think that I might meet some cool people with it. I have heard what some might call horror stories from friends about getting too involved with people one meets online. Therefore, I am kind of wary about the whole thing. Well I guess in general I am not really in a good place right now in several ways. I keep thinking that before I even consider doing anything like the SG dating status thing I should get my shit together. I'm not sure if I could even hold together anything more than the very few nonromantic relationships I have now. Hopefully I'll get my shit together before my creepy ass gets any more unattractive due to that asshole called time.
On a related note, I seriously need a fucking life makeover or something. All my clothes are from like high school, seriously. My mildly cool apartment looks like a craphole like my room did when I was 13. It does seem like where I am in my life is not a completely weird place, like others my age are going through the whole "get rid of the old, bring in the new" thing in relation to acting their age. For some reason it seems to not be going as well for me. Hopefully that will change.
Cripes, could I be any more of a complaining bitch.
I finally got rid of that damn default SG profile pic. The one I'm using is nothing special. It is a pez dispenser my mom gave me called Scary Skeleton or something. My mom collects pez for some reason. She has like a few hundred right now. I want to say 400, but I'm not sure that is right. I thought you might like to know.
I am obsessed with reruns of King of the Hill right now. Sadly that hour of quality animation is the one thing I look forward to every day. Sweet fucking Jebus that is lame, please kill me.
Even though I failed my last math class (as I said in my last post) and am technically behind a quarter, being the genius I am I decided not to take summer school. I told myself I was going to get serious about getting a job since I wasn't going to school, but after like 2 1/2 weeks, nothing yet. Is it weird that I've actually considered if I could survive the life of the hobo? I can't help but feel that is the way my retarded ass is headed.
Shit, uh, I'm rambling again. Run for your lives while you still can.
I keep getting tempted by that dating status thing. I am single and I can't help but think that I might meet some cool people with it. I have heard what some might call horror stories from friends about getting too involved with people one meets online. Therefore, I am kind of wary about the whole thing. Well I guess in general I am not really in a good place right now in several ways. I keep thinking that before I even consider doing anything like the SG dating status thing I should get my shit together. I'm not sure if I could even hold together anything more than the very few nonromantic relationships I have now. Hopefully I'll get my shit together before my creepy ass gets any more unattractive due to that asshole called time.
On a related note, I seriously need a fucking life makeover or something. All my clothes are from like high school, seriously. My mildly cool apartment looks like a craphole like my room did when I was 13. It does seem like where I am in my life is not a completely weird place, like others my age are going through the whole "get rid of the old, bring in the new" thing in relation to acting their age. For some reason it seems to not be going as well for me. Hopefully that will change.
Cripes, could I be any more of a complaining bitch.
I finally got rid of that damn default SG profile pic. The one I'm using is nothing special. It is a pez dispenser my mom gave me called Scary Skeleton or something. My mom collects pez for some reason. She has like a few hundred right now. I want to say 400, but I'm not sure that is right. I thought you might like to know.
I am obsessed with reruns of King of the Hill right now. Sadly that hour of quality animation is the one thing I look forward to every day. Sweet fucking Jebus that is lame, please kill me.
Even though I failed my last math class (as I said in my last post) and am technically behind a quarter, being the genius I am I decided not to take summer school. I told myself I was going to get serious about getting a job since I wasn't going to school, but after like 2 1/2 weeks, nothing yet. Is it weird that I've actually considered if I could survive the life of the hobo? I can't help but feel that is the way my retarded ass is headed.
Shit, uh, I'm rambling again. Run for your lives while you still can.
Ha ha motherfuckers, that's right, I haven't updated in a month. Whatchagoingtadoaboutit!?! Er, sorry, that is a pretty shitty way to start a journal entry. First of all, I am pretty wasted right now. I decided to stop drinking so much, but right now for olde tymes sake I am pretty fucked on Jager. But whatever.
Nothing really exciting is going on. I just found out tonight that I failed my math class. I needed a C to pass and I was pretty sure I wasn't going to get anything higher than a D, and I was right. Math is totally my worst subject, it sucks massive balls. The major I am aiming for is more of a creative one, and I really don't understand where math comes in. Sure, I can add and subtract, even without a calculator. But seriously, for 95% of the population adding and subtracting is a sufficent amount of knowledge. Unless mathematics is a gift, anything above what you learn from kindergarten through high school is just a waste of time.
I am really shitting bricks about the whole money thing. I'm in the process of growing the balls to close an account I really don't want to close in attempt to delay my hitting rock bottom. In September it will have been three years since I have worked. For some it may seem like a simple premise, if you really need to, get off your ass and work. Well to some it might be that easy, but to perpetual losers like me, it isn't. Spending almost three years of your adult life doing whatever the fuck you want, whenever the fuck you want, can make getting your act together a shitty task. But anywho, all that crap is my problem, so I will either grow up and fix it or I will...something, I can't quite rap my head around the fact that I might be that much of a fuck up.
I saw Batman Begins on one of the very first screenings in my area. I love this movie so much. I was going to see it two day later on Friday, but I decided to hold out to see it on the IMAX in San Jose. Hopefully I will get to that pretty soon. This movie was one of the first movies I had seen in the theater since September 2004, the last being Resident Evil: Apocalypse, I believe. I am a wannabe film student who has come realize that he might not be as good as he has imagined. This is mostly due to all the lame student film projects I've done over the last almost four years. This brings me to my next point...
Despite my negative creative experiences, I am not completely ready to give up. I think it might be a good time to take a break from school and rediscover my creative urges. I think being somewhat forced to create on someone else's schedule and witnessing the dreadfully embarassing results might have soured me on the whole thing. I am hoping that a break from this kind of stuff will help create a sort of personal renaissance. My interest in music, film, and my recently rediscovered interest in photography will hopefully remain through my inevitable insertion into the American workforce.
On a lighter note, as I may have said before I am tired of the default SG profile pic. It is my goal tonight to find a suitable image for my profile. Until then, TTFN, SGers.
Nothing really exciting is going on. I just found out tonight that I failed my math class. I needed a C to pass and I was pretty sure I wasn't going to get anything higher than a D, and I was right. Math is totally my worst subject, it sucks massive balls. The major I am aiming for is more of a creative one, and I really don't understand where math comes in. Sure, I can add and subtract, even without a calculator. But seriously, for 95% of the population adding and subtracting is a sufficent amount of knowledge. Unless mathematics is a gift, anything above what you learn from kindergarten through high school is just a waste of time.
I am really shitting bricks about the whole money thing. I'm in the process of growing the balls to close an account I really don't want to close in attempt to delay my hitting rock bottom. In September it will have been three years since I have worked. For some it may seem like a simple premise, if you really need to, get off your ass and work. Well to some it might be that easy, but to perpetual losers like me, it isn't. Spending almost three years of your adult life doing whatever the fuck you want, whenever the fuck you want, can make getting your act together a shitty task. But anywho, all that crap is my problem, so I will either grow up and fix it or I will...something, I can't quite rap my head around the fact that I might be that much of a fuck up.
I saw Batman Begins on one of the very first screenings in my area. I love this movie so much. I was going to see it two day later on Friday, but I decided to hold out to see it on the IMAX in San Jose. Hopefully I will get to that pretty soon. This movie was one of the first movies I had seen in the theater since September 2004, the last being Resident Evil: Apocalypse, I believe. I am a wannabe film student who has come realize that he might not be as good as he has imagined. This is mostly due to all the lame student film projects I've done over the last almost four years. This brings me to my next point...
Despite my negative creative experiences, I am not completely ready to give up. I think it might be a good time to take a break from school and rediscover my creative urges. I think being somewhat forced to create on someone else's schedule and witnessing the dreadfully embarassing results might have soured me on the whole thing. I am hoping that a break from this kind of stuff will help create a sort of personal renaissance. My interest in music, film, and my recently rediscovered interest in photography will hopefully remain through my inevitable insertion into the American workforce.
On a lighter note, as I may have said before I am tired of the default SG profile pic. It is my goal tonight to find a suitable image for my profile. Until then, TTFN, SGers.
Saturday night I went out with some friends for the first time in a long time. It was pretty fun. It also made me realize how sad my life has become because today with nobody to hang with I just sat on my ass and didn't do a damn thing. I seem to easily fall into ruts of nothingness and the rare occassions when I actually do something/anything make me realize that I really need to be more proactive. Maybe then I'll have more fun and won't hate life as much.
I've been getting more serious about pulling my shit together the last few weeks. I've started exercising again, and that has been helping me feel better, more lively and energetic. The realization that I need to pull my head out of my ass, however unpleasant thoughts of being a fuck up are, is totally a good thing.
What I mean by all this is that for a long time I've been what can be called a bit of a slacker. That was all well and good for awhile. Now it is starting to not be so much fun. I see other people passing me by with success in various areas, and I'm sick of the feeling of being left behind. I've become a constant fucking joke to everyone including myself and it fucking sucks. Hopefully this will be a new beginning for crackedhead. Hopefully I won't let myself down again.
I'm hoping that writing these ideas down will make my feelings seem more real, and I'll be able to look back on them when I feel I'm losing direction yet again.
Word.
I've been getting more serious about pulling my shit together the last few weeks. I've started exercising again, and that has been helping me feel better, more lively and energetic. The realization that I need to pull my head out of my ass, however unpleasant thoughts of being a fuck up are, is totally a good thing.
What I mean by all this is that for a long time I've been what can be called a bit of a slacker. That was all well and good for awhile. Now it is starting to not be so much fun. I see other people passing me by with success in various areas, and I'm sick of the feeling of being left behind. I've become a constant fucking joke to everyone including myself and it fucking sucks. Hopefully this will be a new beginning for crackedhead. Hopefully I won't let myself down again.
I'm hoping that writing these ideas down will make my feelings seem more real, and I'll be able to look back on them when I feel I'm losing direction yet again.
Word.It's all been pretty quiet around here. I've been seriously fucking up this year and been a complete slacker. Right now I'm kind of trying to get my shit together. I've been neglecting all sorts of stuff I want to start doing and some stuff I really need to be doing. Somewhere in my past entries I remember mentioning how I needed/wanted to do stuff like start exercising, find a job, etc. Yeah I haven't really done shit. I'm kind of living on a day by day basis right now. Some days I feel like total shit and can barely even get out of bed. Other days I actually feel pretty good, but that ends when I get bombarded by how shitty things have gotten. Well at least I know that things for a fact suck and have some desire to get my act together, that's a start right?
My dad was supposed to come down last week and give me my parents old couch and tv. I was pretty happy about that. I've been living in my own apartment for almost exactly a year with a tiny tv and only two chairs. So those two things should kick up my pad's radness factor by at least six points. It looks like I'll have to wait at least until June to get that stuff due to things going on (jury duty, visits) with them.
So I'm now halfway through another quarter of school. Sigh...I am so fucking sick of school. If I had something better to go to I would totally drop out right now. College was cool for a while, but it's starting to get annoying. Scratch that, it has been annoying for a while. What makes it even more depressing is that I need two more quarters of math, then I get the privilege of transferring to a real school. Then if I'm lucky I'll be done in two years. You can probably see how it's hard to get excited when you're already totally over something, but have a long time before you can rid your life of it. So basically I might be able to finish with a total of about seven years under my belt.
Do any of you remember that movie Tommy Boy with David Spade and Chris Farley? I remember watching that movie all the time when I was a teenager. There is this part in the beginning when Spade's character meets Farley's at an airport or something. Spade and Farley have this little exchange:
Tommy: Did you hear I graduated?
Richard: Yeah and just a shade under a decade. All right.
Tommy: You know a lot of people go to college for seven years.
Richard: I know, they're called doctors.
Back in the day I used to think the idea of some idiot going to college for seven years was hilarious. I fucking hate that scene now. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll finish school in under ten years. As I said before:
Yeah. That's it. Good stuff, eh?
My dad was supposed to come down last week and give me my parents old couch and tv. I was pretty happy about that. I've been living in my own apartment for almost exactly a year with a tiny tv and only two chairs. So those two things should kick up my pad's radness factor by at least six points. It looks like I'll have to wait at least until June to get that stuff due to things going on (jury duty, visits) with them.
So I'm now halfway through another quarter of school. Sigh...I am so fucking sick of school. If I had something better to go to I would totally drop out right now. College was cool for a while, but it's starting to get annoying. Scratch that, it has been annoying for a while. What makes it even more depressing is that I need two more quarters of math, then I get the privilege of transferring to a real school. Then if I'm lucky I'll be done in two years. You can probably see how it's hard to get excited when you're already totally over something, but have a long time before you can rid your life of it. So basically I might be able to finish with a total of about seven years under my belt.
Do any of you remember that movie Tommy Boy with David Spade and Chris Farley? I remember watching that movie all the time when I was a teenager. There is this part in the beginning when Spade's character meets Farley's at an airport or something. Spade and Farley have this little exchange:
Tommy: Did you hear I graduated?
Richard: Yeah and just a shade under a decade. All right.
Tommy: You know a lot of people go to college for seven years.
Richard: I know, they're called doctors.
Back in the day I used to think the idea of some idiot going to college for seven years was hilarious. I fucking hate that scene now. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll finish school in under ten years. As I said before:
Yeah. That's it. Good stuff, eh?
Cripes, it has already been a month since I last updated. Sorry, but it's going to be a few more days until I'm going to have a decent journal update. I just updated my profile to fit my pissed off mood. Well anyway, my Dad is visiting me on Thursday. Depending on how that goes I'll have a nice big update in a few days. Smell you later.
I'm happy that spring break is here, no school for nine days at present time. School sucks the big one. Unfortunately I do have a billion little things to get done during spring break so it won't be much of a vacation.
My last final was on Wednesday night, and the last two days of vacation sucked ass. I was feeling really fucked up for some reason, so I didn't really do anything. Oh yeah, exciting stuff.
It's like my only real friend's birthday this weekend. There was some kind of cool stuff planned, but it doesn't look like anything is really going to happen. I was sort of interested in doing some fun stuff, but whatever, nothing I can do about it.
Yep, nothing else super exciting. Looking forward to much sleeping and much drinking this week, probably not in that order though. I feel like a bit of an asshole not replying to those that commented on these journals. Maybe in the next couple days I'll get to it, but right now I'm not feeling particularly inspired. Bye bye.
My last final was on Wednesday night, and the last two days of vacation sucked ass. I was feeling really fucked up for some reason, so I didn't really do anything. Oh yeah, exciting stuff.
It's like my only real friend's birthday this weekend. There was some kind of cool stuff planned, but it doesn't look like anything is really going to happen. I was sort of interested in doing some fun stuff, but whatever, nothing I can do about it.
Yep, nothing else super exciting. Looking forward to much sleeping and much drinking this week, probably not in that order though. I feel like a bit of an asshole not replying to those that commented on these journals. Maybe in the next couple days I'll get to it, but right now I'm not feeling particularly inspired. Bye bye.
