So...despite many people telling me to accept the severance, I did take the job.
Am I happy with the choice? No. But neither choice would've made me "Happy." I am going to continue my search for a new job, and now I'll have ground under my feet so I can look for a job I love as opposed to just finding something that'll pay. And with this job, unlike my previous position, I'll be trying to get out ASAP. The previous job was just so comfy...too comfy. I wasn't looking for anything better because of it. Now I will...and I have plenty of vacation days to do whatever I need to to find that job.
So, I went on this absolutely horrible date. It was with a girl I met online, and one of those "Everything went wrong" dates. She definitely lied about her age, she showed up real late, and then she also had other men show up so she could have her choice. I say fuck that noise, not interested. This story isn't even about her.
So, we're at a club, and there's this chick who is super cute. I go to talk to her. I'm drunk, but I remember having a decent conversation. She tells me where she works and when (she's the manager of a fancy Japanese restaurant).
I decide that I want to see her again. So I get some friends together to go. In the end, they all drop off and just my (female) roommate joins me. So we go out, and she's working. It's SUPER busy for some reason. But, she notices me, and comes on over and talks to me anyways. She super smiley, pats me on the shoulder, and tells us to enjoy the meal and kind of apologizes that she can't stay longer, but its oddly busy on a Monday. The physical contact leads me to believe its more than just a manager trying to increase revenue.
As we leave, I stop and talk to her (I remembered her name! go me). I ask her to join me over at a local bar when the night is over, and she freezes up. She tells me tonight might be a night she works beyond 2 cleaning (they close at midnight), but "she'll try."
Anyways...she never showed up to the bar. Her restaurant is only a few blocks detour off my normal route home, so I did drive by and people were still cleaning...so she didn't lie. Due to me being kind of anxious, I wasn't the best at reading her body language if the "I'll try" was the "not going to happen" or the "why do I have to be busy?" I exist in my skull either way too much self loathing as well as way too much bravado (I'm fucking incredible, and I think people just can't take how awesome I am), so really it could've been either way. I can only really judge the earlier interactions, and she seemed to be warm to me. I'm unsure how to proceed... I don't want to harass her at work again (and I can't really afford it either!). The club we initially met at was pretty lame and dead, and outside of hoping to run into her, I'd have no reason to be there. But eh, I won't do anything until next week...
The night wasn't bad though. I still got to talk to the goth bartendress that I've had a crush on since I moved to Portland, and talking to her just makes me feel like I'm a cooler more attractive person. Too bad she rejected me ("I try to keep business and pleasure separate," and I know her personal life, and I know that line is BS...but it was a nice rejection. I also believe there are other factors...but that's for another internal conversation) or else I'd still be asking her out.
So, we're at a club, and there's this chick who is super cute. I go to talk to her. I'm drunk, but I remember having a decent conversation. She tells me where she works and when (she's the manager of a fancy Japanese restaurant).
I decide that I want to see her again. So I get some friends together to go. In the end, they all drop off and just my (female) roommate joins me. So we go out, and she's working. It's SUPER busy for some reason. But, she notices me, and comes on over and talks to me anyways. She super smiley, pats me on the shoulder, and tells us to enjoy the meal and kind of apologizes that she can't stay longer, but its oddly busy on a Monday. The physical contact leads me to believe its more than just a manager trying to increase revenue.
As we leave, I stop and talk to her (I remembered her name! go me). I ask her to join me over at a local bar when the night is over, and she freezes up. She tells me tonight might be a night she works beyond 2 cleaning (they close at midnight), but "she'll try."
Anyways...she never showed up to the bar. Her restaurant is only a few blocks detour off my normal route home, so I did drive by and people were still cleaning...so she didn't lie. Due to me being kind of anxious, I wasn't the best at reading her body language if the "I'll try" was the "not going to happen" or the "why do I have to be busy?" I exist in my skull either way too much self loathing as well as way too much bravado (I'm fucking incredible, and I think people just can't take how awesome I am), so really it could've been either way. I can only really judge the earlier interactions, and she seemed to be warm to me. I'm unsure how to proceed... I don't want to harass her at work again (and I can't really afford it either!). The club we initially met at was pretty lame and dead, and outside of hoping to run into her, I'd have no reason to be there. But eh, I won't do anything until next week...
The night wasn't bad though. I still got to talk to the goth bartendress that I've had a crush on since I moved to Portland, and talking to her just makes me feel like I'm a cooler more attractive person. Too bad she rejected me ("I try to keep business and pleasure separate," and I know her personal life, and I know that line is BS...but it was a nice rejection. I also believe there are other factors...but that's for another internal conversation) or else I'd still be asking her out.
Things I've said recently that are awesome:
1. My roommate explains to me she took a half day off for a hang over...the second half of the day.
Me: "Well, that's what work is for. Getting over your hang over."
2. Me: ever have a dream that we're so awesome we can fly, and we just fly around the world letting people stare at our awesomeness, and watch the world become a better place?
Best Friend: if the we share the awesomeness like glitter we through down at people then yes. I have absolutely had that dream.
Me: of course; we're so awesome we manifest it in physical form. And of course awesome would be glitter.
That's it for now. I just wanted to update my blog. It's been over a week! OMG.
1. My roommate explains to me she took a half day off for a hang over...the second half of the day.
Me: "Well, that's what work is for. Getting over your hang over."
2. Me: ever have a dream that we're so awesome we can fly, and we just fly around the world letting people stare at our awesomeness, and watch the world become a better place?
Best Friend: if the we share the awesomeness like glitter we through down at people then yes. I have absolutely had that dream.
Me: of course; we're so awesome we manifest it in physical form. And of course awesome would be glitter.
That's it for now. I just wanted to update my blog. It's been over a week! OMG.
Where is the option for "Drunk" post?
So I'm drunk right now. No-one wanted to drink my rum, and then I released the Kraken and people were drinking straight from the bottle and loving it. Whatevs, I bought myself something fancy shmancy vodka thats way too expensive.
The girl I went on a date with finally texted me back. She didn't "see us dating." You know what, I appreciate the honesty much more than people who refuse to hurt my feelings and tell me to try again another time and keep me thinking I have a chance for a month+. She was super cool to hang out with, but maybe I agree? Either way, I appreciate her telling me no, and hope her the best.
Albeit, I don't understand. I'm cool as shit, and I'm super friendly. Sure, I'm no model, but I'm decently attractive. I'm not sure why I can't get someone who wants more than either one date / or keep as a fuck buddy. Getting fuck buddies or one night stands is easy. Sure, they are fun and what not...but I want a relationship. Something actually real.
Tonight is the first time I heard the term "Saturn Return," It's supposedly a time that occurs between 27-30 where you start changing your life massively and re-learn a lot of stuff. Since i've turned 27, I dumped my girlfriend of 3 years that I'd of proposed to if I thought she'd say yes (she'd of said no, hence the dumping), I almost quit my stable, well paying, includes health insurance job, moved 3 times, and have started pouring money and time into a dream of mine that I fear will go no-where. I'm not sure if the Saturn Return is true or not...but gah damn, have I turned my life upside down in the last year.
And part of me wants to destroy myself further so I can build myself up again. I know exactly what life lines I'd have to cut to do that... but I also like who I am right now. Only thing I don't like is that I have a hard time meeting people. Is it worth becoming an asshole just so I can meet random other assholes? The answer is no. I'll continue to be me, and I'll continue having a hard time meeting people.
I think its time I pass out.
So I'm drunk right now. No-one wanted to drink my rum, and then I released the Kraken and people were drinking straight from the bottle and loving it. Whatevs, I bought myself something fancy shmancy vodka thats way too expensive.
The girl I went on a date with finally texted me back. She didn't "see us dating." You know what, I appreciate the honesty much more than people who refuse to hurt my feelings and tell me to try again another time and keep me thinking I have a chance for a month+. She was super cool to hang out with, but maybe I agree? Either way, I appreciate her telling me no, and hope her the best.
Albeit, I don't understand. I'm cool as shit, and I'm super friendly. Sure, I'm no model, but I'm decently attractive. I'm not sure why I can't get someone who wants more than either one date / or keep as a fuck buddy. Getting fuck buddies or one night stands is easy. Sure, they are fun and what not...but I want a relationship. Something actually real.
Tonight is the first time I heard the term "Saturn Return," It's supposedly a time that occurs between 27-30 where you start changing your life massively and re-learn a lot of stuff. Since i've turned 27, I dumped my girlfriend of 3 years that I'd of proposed to if I thought she'd say yes (she'd of said no, hence the dumping), I almost quit my stable, well paying, includes health insurance job, moved 3 times, and have started pouring money and time into a dream of mine that I fear will go no-where. I'm not sure if the Saturn Return is true or not...but gah damn, have I turned my life upside down in the last year.
And part of me wants to destroy myself further so I can build myself up again. I know exactly what life lines I'd have to cut to do that... but I also like who I am right now. Only thing I don't like is that I have a hard time meeting people. Is it worth becoming an asshole just so I can meet random other assholes? The answer is no. I'll continue to be me, and I'll continue having a hard time meeting people.
I think its time I pass out.
I'm moved in, for the most part. Mostly just have my DVD's to set up, and then set up my TV, surround sound, and all that. But my new roommate and I may have to move the living room around, and my speakers are a bitch to set up.
EDIT: Oh yeah, and basically only one person helped me out. Luckily it was one of my best friends, and she had a pick-up truck so it was great. Awesome to catch up with her, and hopefully we'll get to see each other more now that I'm not living with a bitch who made my guests uncomfortable. Still...despite many people owing me favors for helping them move, only one person helped. *shrug*
I'm not sure if I'm self-reliant, or just very anti-social.
Since I've moved to Portland, I've moved 3 times in 9months. Eventually I'll find a place I like that I can afford as well.
A lot of stuff I've been working on for awhile are coming together. Finally got out of the apartment with the horrible roommate, have high hopes for my comic book, and then I got a date today.
The date was fun. Girl was super cute, and high energy, and made plenty of semi-morbid jokes that I love. Unfortunately, I was kind of exhausted, but I think I got my energy up. We'll see if it was good enough to get a second date in a few days.
Then I got home and passed out. It was amazing.
EDIT: Oh yeah, and basically only one person helped me out. Luckily it was one of my best friends, and she had a pick-up truck so it was great. Awesome to catch up with her, and hopefully we'll get to see each other more now that I'm not living with a bitch who made my guests uncomfortable. Still...despite many people owing me favors for helping them move, only one person helped. *shrug*
I'm not sure if I'm self-reliant, or just very anti-social.
Since I've moved to Portland, I've moved 3 times in 9months. Eventually I'll find a place I like that I can afford as well.
A lot of stuff I've been working on for awhile are coming together. Finally got out of the apartment with the horrible roommate, have high hopes for my comic book, and then I got a date today.
The date was fun. Girl was super cute, and high energy, and made plenty of semi-morbid jokes that I love. Unfortunately, I was kind of exhausted, but I think I got my energy up. We'll see if it was good enough to get a second date in a few days.
Then I got home and passed out. It was amazing.
