It's now been about one year since the last time I had sex. If not now, then by this time next week. Not that the last time was anything special or great. In fact it was a bit sad and pathetic.

I had been chatting with a young woman who lived about an hour away from here. She was married, but she and her husband were splitting up. We agreed to meet at a town about halfway between the two of us. We went to a hotel and got a room. Half the time she cuddled in my arms crying, the other half she was going nuts on top of me. We left after about an hour (and I convinced the hotel clerk that my mom was sick and we couldn't stay . . . evil, I know, but I didn't want to pay $50 for a room I wasn't going to use).

Sadly, that has been what most of my sexual encounters have been like. I've only had one relationship that lasted any amount of time, and that was only 3 months. Every other time have been a one or two time thing with someone I met online. No love. Very few real dates, even.

That's part of the reason for the year long hiatus. I don't want to do one-night-stands anymore.

I just don't.