Member: coyotemike

coyotemike It's like those hip musicians, with their complicated shoes!!!

I’m private
 
APRIL 30, 2008 @ 10:37 AM

My New Religion

I'm fed up with the current religions. Seems like, no matter what religion people pretend to belong to, they basically use it to make themselves feel better by pushing others down. So, I hereby create my own religion. And here are my commandments:

1. Thou shalt treat everybody as an equal, regardless of race, creed, gender, breast size, trouser bulge, or wallet contents.

2. Thou shalt wear comfortable pants at all times.

3. Thou shalt not wear a tie, except at funerals, weddings, and other sad occasions.

4. Thou shalt drink sacramental booze in fellowship with your group of friends.

5. Thou shalt stand up for those who cannot stand for themselves.

6. Thou shalt not peek down any woman's blouse, unless it is REALLY low cut.

7. Thou shalt not act superior to others, regardless of their idiocy.

8. Thou shalt not join a frat or sorority.

9. Thou shalt call thy hookup within 48 hours of leaving their bed.

10. Thou shalt not admit to peeing in the shower.

11. Thou shalt not be a Republican (or similar in other countries)

12. Thou shalt respect anyone's refusal of giving thee bootay.

13. Thou shalt read for pleasure.

14. Thou shalt not judge someone by their dye job

15. Thou shalt give someone a chance of a date, regardless of their magazine style attractiveness, or lack thereof.

16. Thou shalt not poke thy nose into other people's sex lives, as long as all involved are consenting adults.

17. Thou shalt go for a walk in a natural place.

18. Thou shalt live deliberatly (read, people!)

19. Thou shalt not take fad medications.

20. Thou shalt kiss a stranger, then run away giggling.

If you live your life according to these 20 commandments, well, I don't know what will happen. But you might be happier.

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2

Next

Comments
bald_eagle

bald_eagle

Indianapolis, IN
November 2006

APR 30, 2008 01:14 PM

7. Thou shalt not act superior to others, regardless of their idiocy.


Not even a little bit? frown



16. Thou shalt not poke thy nose into other people's sex lives, as long as all involved are consenting adults.


What if we're invited?

bald_eagle

bald_eagle

Indianapolis, IN
November 2006

APR 30, 2008 01:24 PM

Thanks for the clarification.

I'm still gonna wear a tie to work, because it keeps people from asking me to do manual labor. But 19 out of 20 should get me by, right?

Niobe

Niobe

Morocco
April 2003

APR 30, 2008 02:08 PM

5, 8, 11, 13, 15, 19, and 20. I can totally get behind. smile

I hope you had a good day today.

Faytal_Kraydel

Faytal_Kraydel

Upper Darby, PA
November 2007

APR 30, 2008 02:54 PM

Speaking as a short, ugly troll. I do not like your ideas and choose to live my life full of hate and resentment, forever miserable.


SPOILERS! (Click to view)

All Hail the True Bob!

velvet_petal

velvet_petal

I'm lost
November 2006

APR 30, 2008 03:06 PM

I've got # 20 down pat. But the not treating people according to their trouser bulge is going to be a tough one.

Shiny_metal_ass

Shiny_metal_ass

I'm lost
October 2006

APR 30, 2008 05:30 PM

DevilsReject

DevilsReject

Cleveland, OH
February 2007

MAY 01, 2008 01:54 AM

who the hell do we worship?

who do we send money to?

who do we bow down and ask for forgiveness?

Who do we start wars in the name of?

This religion has too many holes in it. I'll stick with not believing in anything.

Dwam

Dwam

SUICIDEGIRL

France

MAY 01, 2008 06:28 AM

hahahah I like your religion ^^

Toxic

Toxic

SUICIDEGIRL

Oregon, USA

MAY 01, 2008 01:12 PM

Whipped cream and cherries k?!

Niobe

Niobe

Morocco
April 2003

MAY 02, 2008 06:22 AM

kiss

sweetzen

sweetzen

Hadley, MA
March 2007

MAY 02, 2008 09:48 PM

i like #20 biggrin

Niobe

Niobe

Morocco
April 2003

MAY 03, 2008 07:57 AM

I hope you are having a good weekend.

Niobe

Niobe

Morocco
April 2003

MAY 03, 2008 08:10 AM

Wow, I thought you forgot about me. blush

Niobe

Niobe

Morocco
April 2003

MAY 03, 2008 10:17 AM

I understand.

MisterLinguist

MisterLinguist

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

MAY 05, 2008 09:55 AM

Your new religion should invite Tom Cruise over for tea.

PreviousNext
Past
MAY 2008

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

22

23

24

25

26

27

28

29

30

31

APRIL 2008

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

22

23

24

25

26

27

28

29

30

MARCH 2008

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

22

23

24

25

26

27

28

29

30

31

FEBRUARY 2008

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

22

23

24

25

26

27

28

29