"God I'm amazing. From time to time it just hits me and I kind of get all choked up -- how cool I am. I'll stare at the mirror, or my penis while I am urinating, and just get all dewy eyed. I sincerly wish all of you understood how cool it was to be me, so that you could burn with envy in an appropriate manner. I understand that you are sheilded by your ignorance, but God who knows all things must really be suffering."