....Got to watch "Lost" tonight. I've missed the last couple of weeks.

If you happened to read my entries from a couple of days ago then you know about me having to pass 3 praticals to say in school. Well today marked part 2 of the 3rd pratical and I passed with a 3.77. I also found out that I passed by final today...and I rounded the day off by getting a personal trainer. Yes...the beer and wings have made me kinda soft around the middle so, I brought in some expert advice. So, tommorrow I start my routine.....all in all today was a good day. So thanks for all of your votes of confidence. You guys are awesome.

I watched the SG Dvd and I have to admit...Reagan is a Cutie. There is something about her that makes you want to just squeeze kinda like a cuddley teddy bear.....Now Back to the News.

I Finished one of my praticals this morning and the instructors think I did very well. They are going to review my paperwork and give me my Grade monday....and while I was driving home. I got a call from the dealership and I got My new truck, so on monday when the insurance company opens and I can get Full coverage put on my truck, then I can drive my New baby home....and since I took my Final Exam Friday, I can actually say that I don't have anything to study for this weekend. Which means that I can devote my weekend to what it should be used for. Writing, playing Video games, watching movies and drinking.

So what are you guys doing this weekend?

Today was a day of surprises. A day of Ying to balance the Yang. After being torned down by the Satan's Cum-dumpster I can actually look back and laugh at what was said and in the end that is the most important thing.... I actually ran into someone that I didn't expect to see. I ran into Mickey P. Mickey P was someone who I used to work with and a pretty good friend and it seems that I am traveling a simliar path in life as him. We were on the same ship, we went to the same school, and we both headed toward Guam. If I end up passing this school then, we will both have left the navy after Guam. It was funny seeing him. Sometimes all you really need to do is start "Back at one".

P.S. I got the SG dvd as a gift and it was shiny.

After 2 hrs of Good cop bad cop the decision was made........ The Game Sudden Death Overtime on my Next 3 praticals. The first was on friday night...I passed it with flying colors. 1 down, 2 to go, and the only thing that's on the line is the next 3 years of my life, but I have never failed at anything that I've put my focus to and I don't plan to start now.

I went an so Serenity Saturday. It was amazing. It answered most of my questions left over from the series. I think it was very well done. Between watching that and getting my Jessica Alba fix with "into the blue" I was able to wrap by mind around some of the things I'm experiencing.

I've been pretty much moping around here, but I haven't told you what has me so shook. O.k. the school I'm in for the military is in its pratical application section. I'm pretty much expected to see something done one time and apply that to another job, which really doesn't resemble the first one I've seen. Not so very difficult if your shit hot on the principles but, Just seeing it once is hard. To make things, even tougher you have 2 people usually getting graded and the other person if they aren't on the money they can really screw you over. The thing is most of the students realize this so we look out for each other. The problem is that sometimes you don't have an student you have an instructor..... You fail 2 of these and you get to go before a review board to determine if you stay.

So to make a long story short. I hosed myself the first time so, I knuckled down and studied to make sure my re-grade was going to go smoothly and it would have but, I didn't have a student partner I had an instructor...an instructor who dicked me balls deep.... Because no matter how good you are overall. There are these things called Criticals attributes which can fail you all by themselves. All it takes is one. and yes, the kindly instructor set me up for failure. at least had the decency to come by the next day and apolgize, but it doesn't change the fact that tommorrow its sink or swim for me. I can't say he screwed me over, he admitted it. give me another chance...All the instructors know it, and they all keep telling me "keep a good attitude." And, I'm keeping a good attitude I'm smiling, and laughing I'm trying to be positive. When I want nothing better than to howl and rage. I know what you're thinking its only a school.....wrong. This is my ticket to Guam. If I don't pass tommorrow, then I could be shipped off anywhere, even to the Hellhole I just left, and I believe that that is more than I can stand.

So there you have it the rest of my life will be decided in about a 2 hour span by someone who could care less wheather I lived or died. And, if I somehow pull out this hat trick, then I can go talk to the personel department and try to get back the 1600 buck I'm missing from by last couple of paychecks and start studying for my final in 2 weeks.

"Sometimes I wish that I could fly away....."

Thanks for all of your well wishes. It really means alot. I'm housesitting for a friend so, I decided to stop in and say hi. I'm pretty much still bummed. It seems like everything is spinning out of control...I want to rage againist the world,I want to howl at the moon, I want to eat ice cream, sleep forever, Have rough sex, destroy something beautiful....anything and everything not to feel this way..but it would only be a quick fix....On tuesday, I'll know one way or another.

...I cant even vent tonight.
I wish I could fly away....become a bird and fly away..but like all my dreams....its destined to fail.

When will this school end? I find that spending 12 hours at work/school to help out sucks. If I have to stay late tommorrow, then I don't think I'm going to make it.....I'm fried. I wish I had something more entertaining to say, but this week is sucking me dry...and I don't mean in a good way.

T-minus 3 days until I get rid of my old car......