So this really is out of my style but in light of recent events I've been writing again just to keep my mind busy. Now this isn't the most complicated or even best structured poem ever but i liked it i felt it's raw and full of my soul and what feel right now. I hope if anyone reads it they enjoy and would really appreciate feed back good or bad.
i sit here in my despair
the way things ended wasn't fair
i feel so lost and forgotten
somewhere my love got rotten
i tried and tried but our spirits died
the whole adventure left my emotions fried
you were the only person for whom i ever cried
but in the end i saw you lied
we started out so easy and fun
every moment we spent hit my like a sonic boom
our love was so strong i always felt spun
it never dawned on me we could be doomed
you never forgave me even at the start
always jealous of that sultry latina
but all along you were my prima
i never hurt so much as when you doubted my heart
even in our debut there were signs of our troubled woes
but i was so lost in out lovey dovey show
i was convinced we wouldn't let each other go
but our love was a constant battle of to and fro
as we progressed i became obssesed with you
and you with me we were all each other would see
no time for friends no time spent with our family
day in and day out by each other side is where we chose to be
it was such a beautiful love so powerfully glorious and transcendent
but it was not meant to last it all spiraled down so fast
after that fated accident that left me emotionally spent
my outlook became twisted and sick and ever more bent
but you were so strong much stronger than i
you stayed by my side even when i wanted to die
the darkness welled up inside my soul as the depression got a stronger hold
but you never lost faith you stayed so brave and so bold
but as my bitter feelings grew i became a stranger to you
it seem i would no longer care and your soul began to wear
each selfish action would just tear at your feeling leaving us both emotionally reeling
even in the midst of this turbulent storm you were the light that made my world right
then one day i looked into your eyes and saw a terrible sight
the eyes once so filled with an overzealous love and joy
was now filled with a deep sorrow over this selfish boy
my eyes opened to my actions being ignorant and contrite
i panicked and freaked and began to retreat
all the signs i saw were a bitter defeat
i became distant and never remissive
i acted cold bitter and very dismissive
i would go out and part with a false sense of hardy
ingesting whatever i could to feel better
i went with my friends and left you alone
in the dark we cohorted on what could be drank smoked and snorted
you thought i was out and about having the time of my life in my chaotic strife
but inside i hurting sad crying and lonely lost and confused
you sat alone at home feeling neglected and abused
my actions were selfish twisted and misguided i felt sickened and afflicted
i looked up one day on the path we made and was shocked to see things had shifted
somewhere on our road our positions had shifted
no longer where we on out path to true bliss
my treacherous road had somehow led us amiss
you were moving ever forward looking to the next day with such hopeful optimism
while i sat in my own head filled with my fears and worries my mind building schism
this was going to be our defining moment though at the time neither had know it
this was a time for us to pour out or hearts a feeling we missed right from the start
this was the worst time everything around me was starting to crumble and fall
all this time i did noting i felt i had no power at all i was only able to weep and ball
then out of nowhere it came in like a hawk swooping from above
into our lives a man from before came in a started to sway your love
it all came to head and the truth had sought out the light
we talked and we talked and started to fight
the event was so heated almost surreal each of us driving our points as we argued
the passion the feeling brought on a new rush a suddenly a new wave of love ensued
this was just placations not truly there in both of our hearts hid an unmendable tear
the days following seemed pleasant and calm that was a felling that wouldn't last long
we both were supportive and understanding but our time together was constantly fleeting
each of us cared to much for the other never heading the doubt both straining for a way out
but through all of this traumatic storm of chaotic energy i still felt you were made for me
but the feeling were left unreturned i was oblivious i was about to be burned
you were uncertain if this was our curtain close one fated encounter and you easily strayed
even in all of this i felt so enamored the floozies and skanks were nothing i decided to stay
things were changing and i was raging more and more in to my deplorable world
no want no desire there was nothing lighting my hearts fire
i went numb found the best trees and mad myself numb
i was so tired of feeling and knowing whats coming it seemed easier just to run
there was no running from this the truth had arrived even if neither of us realized
our love was gone it had fizzled and died and sadly neither of us cried
the end was the worst both were dishonest we would lie cheat and steal
it made the whole death easier to deal
both of us still loved but no longer in the way we once had
all of the happy times were replaced by the bad
the truth that would no longer hide the sad fact that you let someone inside
the whole thing was unreal no way it was true what would i do
all was revealed when you asked for the pill the very thought made my whole body ill
all of a sudden the love was all gone drained and discarded replaced by a disdain
but on the surface i maintained an eerie calm outside i was perfect holding it in
like a protective shell but the emotions were blaring an uncontrolled rage
it took all of my strength to hold in its cage
we yelled and we fought but never found the answers we sought
we knew we were over some cataclysmically done so much so we wondered how we begun
our words were fierce and berating so much people would question our dating
at the end of the day we both walked away knowing that nothing would be the same
we had both been so abused and confused that we closed off our hearts no chance for a new start
when the storm clouds had passed and all said and done i still look back and say it was allot of fun
a new day is here and the futures unclear
truthfully saying i have no idea what to do in a life without you
but not matter the trauma no matter the sad and the mad
without being sappy i truly wish you to be happy
cause and the end of the day one thing is true no matter the struggles i will always love you
this is my story of a turbulent love turned bloody and gory
one so pure and strong that no way it would soften
but somewhere along it became stagnant and rotten
but on in my hear it will live never forgotten i sit here in my despair
the way things ended wasn't fair
i feel so lost and forgotten
somewhere my love got rotten
i tried and tried but our spirits died
the whole adventure left my emotions fried
you were the only person for whom i ever cried
but in the end i saw you lied
we started out so easy and fun
every moment we spent hit my like a sonic boom
our love was so strong i always felt spun
it never dawned on me we could be doomed
you never forgave me even at the start
always jealous of that sultry latina
but all along you were my prima
i never hurt so much as when you doubted my heart
even in our debut there were signs of our troubled woes
but i was so lost in out lovey dovey show
i was convinced we wouldn't let each other go
but our love was a constant battle of to and fro
as we progressed i became obssesed with you
and you with me we were all each other would see
no time for friends no time spent with our family
day in and day out by each other side is where we chose to be
it was such a beautiful love so powerfully glorious and transcendent
but it was not meant to last it all spiraled down so fast
after that fated accident that left me emotionally spent
my outlook became twisted and sick and ever more bent
but you were so strong much stronger than i
you stayed by my side even when i wanted to die
the darkness welled up inside my soul as the depression got a stronger hold
but you never lost faith you stayed so brave and so bold
but as my bitter feelings grew i became a stranger to you
it seem i would no longer care and your soul began to wear
each selfish action would just tear at your feeling leaving us both emotionally reeling
even in the midst of this turbulent storm you were the light that made my world right
then one day i looked into your eyes and saw a terrible sight
the eyes once so filled with an overzealous love and joy
was now filled with a deep sorrow over this selfish boy
my eyes opened to my actions being ignorant and contrite
i panicked and freaked and began to retreat
all the signs i saw were a bitter defeat
i became distant and never remissive
i acted cold bitter and very dismissive
i would go out and part with a false sense of hardy
ingesting whatever i could to feel better
i went with my friends and left you alone
in the dark we cohorted on what could be drank smoked and snorted
you thought i was out and about having the time of my life in my chaotic strife
but inside i hurting sad crying and lonely lost and confused
you sat alone at home feeling neglected and abused
my actions were selfish twisted and misguided i felt sickened and afflicted
i looked up one day on the path we made and was shocked to see things had shifted
somewhere on our road our positions had shifted
no longer where we on out path to true bliss
my treacherous road had somehow led us amiss
you were moving ever forward looking to the next day with such hopeful optimism
while i sat in my own head filled with my fears and worries my mind building schism
this was going to be our defining moment though at the time neither had know it
this was a time for us to pour out or hearts a feeling we missed right from the start
this was the worst time everything around me was starting to crumble and fall
all this time i did noting i felt i had no power at all i was only able to weep and ball
then out of nowhere it came in like a hawk swooping from above
into our lives a man from before came in a started to sway your love
it all came to head and the truth had sought out the light
we talked and we talked and started to fight
the event was so heated almost surreal each of us driving our points as we argued
the passion the feeling brought on a new rush a suddenly a new wave of love ensued
this was just placations not truly there in both of our hearts hid an unmendable tear
the days following seemed pleasant and calm that was a felling that wouldn't last long
we both were supportive and understanding but our time together was constantly fleeting
each of us cared to much for the other never heading the doubt both straining for a way out
but through all of this traumatic storm of chaotic energy i still felt you were made for me
but the feeling were left unreturned i was oblivious i was about to be burned
you were uncertain if this was our curtain close one fated encounter and you easily strayed
even in all of this i felt so enamored the floozies and skanks were nothing i decided to stay
things were changing and i was raging more and more in to my deplorable world
no want no desire there was nothing lighting my hearts fire
i went numb found the best trees and mad myself numb
i was so tired of feeling and knowing whats coming it seemed easier just to run
there was no running from this the truth had arrived even if neither of us realized
our love was gone it had fizzled and died and sadly neither of us cried
the end was the worst both were dishonest we would lie cheat and steal
it made the whole death easier to deal
both of us still loved but no longer in the way we once had
all of the happy times were replaced by the bad
the truth that would no longer hide the sad fact that you let someone inside
the whole thing was unreal no way it was true what would i do
all was revealed when you asked for the pill the very thought made my whole body ill
all of a sudden the love was all gone drained and discarded replaced by a disdain
but on the surface i maintained an eerie calm outside i was perfect holding it in
like a protective shell but the emotions were blaring an uncontrolled rage
it took all of my strength to hold in its cage
we yelled and we fought but never found the answers we sought
we knew we were over some cataclysmically done so much so we wondered how we begun
our words were fierce and berating so much people would question our dating
at the end of the day we both walked away knowing that nothing would be the same
we had both been so abused and confused that we closed off our hearts no chance for a new start
when the storm clouds had passed and all said and done i still look back and say it was allot of fun
a new day is here and the futures unclear
truthfully saying i have no idea what to do in a life without you
but not matter the trauma no matter the sad and the mad
without being sappy i truly wish you to be happy
cause and the end of the day one thing is true no matter the struggles i will always love you
this is my story of a turbulent love turned bloody and gory
one so pure and strong that no way it would soften
but somewhere along it became stagnant and rotten
but on in my hear it will live never forgotten