Okay, it's been a very long time since I have posted anything here but whatever... here I am.

I joined this site six years ago (this month) after seeing an HBO special on SG. Like so many others have said through the years since: I joined for the boobies and stayed for the friends. I had split from my then wife of 12+ years a few months previously, whom I share 2 beautiful children with. It was a painful period (of course), and the friends that I was making here helped distract me and get me past the intense hurt. I was very active on the site, and helped organize a number of local gatherings, which were a real blast!

By the summer of '04 I had fallen in love again. Since then, I have spent little to no time on the site, and in turn have lost touch with friends that I made here. Being a single father of 2, and in a relationship, did not allow me the spare time to devote to this site.

I have in fact been in and out of a few relationships since then but all very close together. The crazy thing is, I got married again!! We had met in April of '06, married the summer of '08... and separated March of this year (so, the marriage lasted just over 6 months!!!). Since then, it has been a long drawn out affair of getting back together, splitting, getting back together, splitting, getting back together, splitting... and I only have myself to blame for that. It was she who left in the first place but it was always her who came back, and me who always took her back. She needs to figure her shit out, and my allowing us to re-engage is not helping either of us.

Anyhow, here I sit, 6 years after joining, and it feels like deja vu. I am in a world of pain, and really lonely... but I know this will pass, the pain part anyway. It's funny. my mother flew out to spend Christmas with me in '03 (having never done so since I moved away from my hometown in '95), and she just called me last week to say that she booked a flight so that she could be with me for Christmas again. Again with the deja vu!

I am a family oriented person. I need to have regular hugs, and to feel loved. I am afraid of being alone but I feel that I may be alone for a good long while this time. I need time to heal, and to figure out just what I am doing wrong? Why do I keep getting in to relationships with controlling, judgemental women? What is the lesson there?


So yeah, I'm back for now at least. I don't expect to hear from anyone but would be happy to if you did.

Have a great holiday season eveyone! xo

...or not.

The shape of things to come... *angels sing and shafts of light break through the clouds*


Solaris

Okay, so here's the deal: I love this site and the friends I've made along the way but I am obviously not spending much time on here anymore, and am terrible at responding to comments. So, I will continue on here but I am not going to even pretend that I will update more regularly... but I will once in a while. Feel free to comment but please don't take it personal if I take forever to respond.

I am happy & well, as I hope you are too.



Chris

Sheesh, I go away for nearly a year and the site changes, then I go away for a few weeks and it's changed again!?!

Change is bad m'kay?!

Spring is finally springing, and not a moment too soon!

Sleep well Benni

This has to be the longest shitty grey winter that I can remember! Give it a rest already!

Hi!

So, here it is, the end of an era for me. SG was just what I needed back in the early winter of 2003, and for a good while I was addicted hardcore!! I have made some good friends here, and will hold it close to my heart, always. The fact is, I don't enjoy it the way I used to, and I don't really have the time to spend staring at the screen endlessly anymore (I haven't for a long time but kept giving in). I won't say that I'll never be back but I don't see it as likely.
Take good care of yourselves, and be good to eachother.

Love,

Chris

whofreakfromhell@yahoo.com

This new stylized site is teh ghaye!!

Things are all good. My rant of last week was directed at everyone out there that treats people in that manner, more than it had to do with my life. Though, a couple of past relationships were a huge inspiration there. I'm in the proccess of purging as much bullshit as I can. You know, all those things that are bogging your life down in so many varied ways? I know, I've got my work cut out for me.

As an aside, if you have any slight interest in seeing Over The Hedge, do it! I promise you will love it, and you will laugh long and hard!!

C'est la vie, indeed!

Why do people feel the need to change the people they supposedly care about? I'm not talking about serious issues like addiction or abuse, just small behavioural differences (that, depending on ones perspective, may or may not be flaws). I don't fucking get it?! If you can't handle someone as they are, why be in a relationship with them? You will either find you are chronically dissatisfied, or maybe there is that perfect person for you, somewhere over the rainbow...
How about focusing on the good in a person, and not on their shortcomings?

I'm so tired, so very tired...