Why am I so much more motivated and inspired when I have a girlfriend or some kind of relationship?
Falling in love to me is the greatest thing in the world, and I guess I am just at my best when I am that happy, that driven and excited about something. More than not having that, I hate knowing it and losing it. It seems worse to realize how it affects me because I feel like I am missing out on a great part of my life without it. If only I could bring that out in myself without having to rely on anyone else for it. Looks like I need to work on that.
Here. We. Go.
Falling in love to me is the greatest thing in the world, and I guess I am just at my best when I am that happy, that driven and excited about something. More than not having that, I hate knowing it and losing it. It seems worse to realize how it affects me because I feel like I am missing out on a great part of my life without it. If only I could bring that out in myself without having to rely on anyone else for it. Looks like I need to work on that.
Here. We. Go.
Lots of things going on right now.
This weekend (Insha'Allah) will be the end of my time in the military, and as much as I know getting out is the right thing to do, there are a lot of people and things that I will miss. It will be strange to have that whole aspect of my life just disappear overnight.
Couple weeks until my program at school is done, and I'm not very sure what I am going to end up doing. I enjoy learning all kinds of interesting things and helping people, but plans may have to change as far as how I do that. Going to have to stick my head out and look at some different options, and wait.
In the interim I should be starting a new job at a bookstore that takes everything very seriously, everything but the paycheck at least it seems. Soon will be "orientation" and we will see how bad it is.
I've had and lost two different ladies in the last few months, one that I really hope will come back to me. It's hard to have it completely out of my hands and still feel attached. I should just let it go, but the girl is just too damn awesome and I haven't been able to get her out of my head. I am still looking...but it's hard to find someone that can compare, and it's hard after getting emotionally invested in relationships just to have them suddenly disappear like what has been happening.
Hopefully there will be some new beginnings to go with these endings in my life. I'll drink to that.
This weekend (Insha'Allah) will be the end of my time in the military, and as much as I know getting out is the right thing to do, there are a lot of people and things that I will miss. It will be strange to have that whole aspect of my life just disappear overnight.
Couple weeks until my program at school is done, and I'm not very sure what I am going to end up doing. I enjoy learning all kinds of interesting things and helping people, but plans may have to change as far as how I do that. Going to have to stick my head out and look at some different options, and wait.
In the interim I should be starting a new job at a bookstore that takes everything very seriously, everything but the paycheck at least it seems. Soon will be "orientation" and we will see how bad it is.
I've had and lost two different ladies in the last few months, one that I really hope will come back to me. It's hard to have it completely out of my hands and still feel attached. I should just let it go, but the girl is just too damn awesome and I haven't been able to get her out of my head. I am still looking...but it's hard to find someone that can compare, and it's hard after getting emotionally invested in relationships just to have them suddenly disappear like what has been happening.
Hopefully there will be some new beginnings to go with these endings in my life. I'll drink to that.
Simple living is my desperate cry.
Its not that there is a giant conspiracy in which the bourgeoisie try to keep everyone down-working and buying, constantly consuming beyond their means. There are just a lot of greedy, powerful people out there that want your money, and they are smarter than you. They don't put you in the situation that forces you to work so that you can afford to live. You are just so concerned with consuming that you pass up on LIVING. The irony is that the very freedom we so boisterously enjoy gives us all the choices in the world, and it is the very idea of being presented with choices that does us in. Lexus or Mercedes? Gucci or Prada? McDonalds or Burger King? The shopping mall is full of choices, Wal-Mart has endless aisles of choices, but the best choice is one that is not advertised on billboards. It's not on your expensive satellite or cable tv. It's not covered on your favorite corporate owned news channel. It's definitely not advertised on the commercials during your favorite corporate sponsored sporting event.
It's the best choice that no one ever told you about. Choose nothing.
Not only is it good for the planet, it keeps you from having to fight crowds and wait in long lines. The best part about it though? It's free...and you can be too.
work=>money
money=>possessions
work=>possessions
less possessions=>less work
no possessions=>no work
Its not that there is a giant conspiracy in which the bourgeoisie try to keep everyone down-working and buying, constantly consuming beyond their means. There are just a lot of greedy, powerful people out there that want your money, and they are smarter than you. They don't put you in the situation that forces you to work so that you can afford to live. You are just so concerned with consuming that you pass up on LIVING. The irony is that the very freedom we so boisterously enjoy gives us all the choices in the world, and it is the very idea of being presented with choices that does us in. Lexus or Mercedes? Gucci or Prada? McDonalds or Burger King? The shopping mall is full of choices, Wal-Mart has endless aisles of choices, but the best choice is one that is not advertised on billboards. It's not on your expensive satellite or cable tv. It's not covered on your favorite corporate owned news channel. It's definitely not advertised on the commercials during your favorite corporate sponsored sporting event.
It's the best choice that no one ever told you about. Choose nothing.
Not only is it good for the planet, it keeps you from having to fight crowds and wait in long lines. The best part about it though? It's free...and you can be too.
work=>money
money=>possessions
work=>possessions
less possessions=>less work
no possessions=>no work
No girlfriend.
No mohawk.
No new managers job that I had.
Plenty of free time however.
Now accepting applications for a new lady friend. Must have a large brain and larger heart.
No mohawk.
No new managers job that I had.
Plenty of free time however.
Now accepting applications for a new lady friend. Must have a large brain and larger heart.
Finally home. I feel like I aged 10 years since I left.
So many new things-new girlfriend, new motorcycle, and tons of new books to read. New mohawk.
New life. Gotta do it right this time.
We are building up a new world
Do not sit idly by
Do not remain neutral
Do not rely on this broadcast alone
We are only as strong as our signal
There is a war going on for your mind
If you are thinking you are winning
Resistance is victory
Defeat is impossible
Your weapons are already in hand
Reach within you and find the means by which to gain your freedom
Fight with tools
Your fate and that of everyone you know depends on it
So many new things-new girlfriend, new motorcycle, and tons of new books to read. New mohawk.
New life. Gotta do it right this time.
We are building up a new world
Do not sit idly by
Do not remain neutral
Do not rely on this broadcast alone
We are only as strong as our signal
There is a war going on for your mind
If you are thinking you are winning
Resistance is victory
Defeat is impossible
Your weapons are already in hand
Reach within you and find the means by which to gain your freedom
Fight with tools
Your fate and that of everyone you know depends on it
Ok. Be warned this story may not hold significance to anyone other than myself.
Aside from bottled water here there are two other choices-sodas or different kinds of fruit juices. There is orange juice, apple juice, banana juice (who knew?), pineapple juice, cranberry juice, and all kinds of combinations. This becomes important when you are stuck eating and drinking the same things all of the time for long months on end.
So after getting off work, I'm sitting here with another guy and I start drinking an apple juice (which is in kindergarten style boxes with plastic straws glued on the side), and I suddenly remark,
"Wow! That is some good juice! It's way better than the kind in the green box."
I said it so matter of factly, it freaked me out. I was shocked and excited about apple juice, and that freaks me out.
If the flavor of apple juice just rocks my world, I take that as a good indicator that I need to get the fuck home.
Soon.
Aside from bottled water here there are two other choices-sodas or different kinds of fruit juices. There is orange juice, apple juice, banana juice (who knew?), pineapple juice, cranberry juice, and all kinds of combinations. This becomes important when you are stuck eating and drinking the same things all of the time for long months on end.
So after getting off work, I'm sitting here with another guy and I start drinking an apple juice (which is in kindergarten style boxes with plastic straws glued on the side), and I suddenly remark,
"Wow! That is some good juice! It's way better than the kind in the green box."
I said it so matter of factly, it freaked me out. I was shocked and excited about apple juice, and that freaks me out.
If the flavor of apple juice just rocks my world, I take that as a good indicator that I need to get the fuck home.
Soon.
Well I am fine apparently...so back to counting down the slow ass days! I can't wait to be home and have real food, not to mention lots of other stuff. See you soon America!
Well 58 days to go, but now I am having some medical shit go wrong. Hopefully it will be an easy fix, but I should know in 3 days (I hope). Here is to hoping for the best.
So many long days! It's hard to compare one shitty one to the next so I wont bother. 67 days left and that is the important part. That and I have tomorrow off to recover from today. At least it is something to cheer me up when I get to swap messages with attractive ladies. =) Definitely a better morale booster than anything the Army can offer.
