I really don't want to blog....

AFSG
brb

I think my SG account is being hacked. At least I have to login everyday which is new... I didn't have to do that before. I keep changing my password but that doesn't stop it.

I think its finally happened... I feel pinned down. Before I always had options open to me, but now I don't. I've definitely hit a rut. Funny though... I've hung out with my g/f so much lately I've been missing my dog. So we've been hanging out more. I think the dog (Daphne) feels the same.

I really don't know what to think.. I'm starting to feel a little pressured to move in with my g/f. I mean.. I don't think I can just move out because that'll put my mom in a bad situation, but I really miss having my own space. I mean really miss! This weekend was the g/f's and mine 1 year and I brought the dog over. The g/f asked me too, and I miss my dog when I go on so many weekends away from home that I miss having my dog around. This kinda put a damper on the anniversary celebrations for me... not to mention we both had a shitty stomach bug from something. I don't know what.. but it hit at the same time after we both had some ice cream.

It was nice though. I mean I finally got to play with my dog in some space where there isn't shit (not my shit) everywhere. Where she could get worn out and fall asleep for once rather than being all barky crazy at everything.

I don't know what to think about all this. I mean.. I think I'm feeling depressed. I've helped out my mom all I can and now I want to move on. But I can't without screwing her over. My g/f is pressuring me to move out; and I'd love to live with her especially if it means having physical space to play with my dog and pursue our mutual hobbies. Even the fact I can't have friends visit because there is cat hair everywhere and this place is very small.

I think this is the yearly anxiety about being with my mom, but I need to think things through and I haven't had the mental space to do so. I'm even stalling on things I need to do. Things I think will get messy soon.. and it doesn't make me happy.

My g/f is hot

I'm going to write a normal blog again.
Around this time last year, I was running.... now I'm trying again. The nights are cool enough, and my g/f is motivating me to run too.

I'm currently 5'8 (or 9?) 210 lbs. I've hit a level I don't want to be... over 200 lbs. So.. before last summer I was 10 lbs away from my goal.. and now I'm 30 lbs away from my goal. I'm kinda upset with myself but if I could lose 20 lbs by September I'll be happy. the hard part is now trying not to munch. I mean.. I think I've fucked up my diet to the point where I just want to eat.... lots... not to mention being lazy. Its getting worse because of a lot of pictures I've seen of me... I don't think have been too flattering... so I just want to tone down a bit... again...

Either way... I gotta get money to get to a gym... if SG was as much as a Gym membership I'd cancel my subscription in a heart beat... but it's not... so I gotta find the money to do this stuff year round.

My g/f is really sick
There is a C Difficile out break in the hamilton area. Mostly thanks to the lovely Burlington hospital that thought it would be smart to let the outbreak continue in its hospital for 2 years. I think we may have it. While.. I have her bug at least... damn kids

I could be over reacting. Hell I only have 1 symptom.

I'm tired... achy... and it's my birthday on fathers day.. and it may ran on my birthday plans. Not to mention I've been so busy I haven't even thought about what to put on a wish list for my birthday.

I think this is nearing.... Worse birthday ever! When I was younger, my dad use to call us up on our b-days (my sister and I have our birthdays one day apart) and ask us "What you want to do for fathers day". Not to mention past birthdays sometimes getting over shadowed by each others birthday. I always thought birthdays and christmas were the same because I was buying gifts for other people on my birthday. Its cool in someways.. but lame in others. This year.. since its the same day (F-day and my bday)... I'm worried someone is going to make the same dumb comment.. especially since this is the first time ever... my family is doing something on fathers day.

It can still be rescued. Throw a penny in a wishing well for me kay!

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Today, I went to: oh spoilers.. this might get gross

For the most part... the doctor recommended to continue to avoid caffeine. While she wisked me in and out of her office so quickly I barely got to make an argument that hey... I don't think its caffeine. It really stresses me out that this lady is going to be

Its a long ways away yet.. and I'm not worried about it yet. But I'm not excited about the prep for it. Either way.. I got "You have any questions" and I said "Can I do it on a monday" and she took me out of the office to book an appointment before I could even talk. I waited 40 minutes for a 4 minute meeting. Man am I happy I didn't pay for parking.

Between the doctor and my gut.... today has not been aces.... accept waking up beside my g/f and trying to make her feel better. That made me happy. I guess sometimes... it is the little things.

I don't know what to think of this... and the more I talk with my g/f the more I realize I've spent way to much time on the internet. I mean.. I've had various online friends I'd chat with just to connect with people and stay somewhat social. But ever since I got a g/f people seem less interested in my life. I mean.. I think it was just courtesy to ask me what I've been up too. I mean.. even though I haven't talked to some people in a while... they never so much even ask
a) How you been
b) How has your relationship been

I mean... some people I know have stopped talking to me cause I'm no longer single; which I'm cool with... but some people I thought I had gotten close too and talked to fairly often seem to only want to talk about themselves. I have often asked people who I talked to online if how their significant other is... but then they only want to talk about themselves.

I mean.. yes I want to hear what you been up too.. and yes... I am interested... but if its totally one way.. what the hell is the point.