So for dinner tonight I went to TOGOS. I have a book of $5 gift certificates from there that I got at Sopranos. I have no idea why we got them, by the wa, and I've had them for over a year. So I decided to use them.
Anyway, I walk in with my $5 gift certificate and order a turkey sandwich. It's $4.35. I proudly give them the gift certificate.
"We can't use this", the toad-like woman at the register tells me.
"Why not?" I ask.
"It's for $5"
"And my sandwich is $4.35. What's the problem? Don't give me change."
"I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"Because I can't."
"Ok, fine," I say. "Give me the large for $5.29"
She rings it up.
"$5.29, please"
I give her the gift certificate and $.30.
"We can't accept this," she says to me.
"WHY???"
"Because it's for $5 and this is $5.29"
"You mean it has to be the EXACT AMOUNT??? What do you have here that's exactly $5???"
"I don't know."
"Exactly. Is there a manager here?" Now I'm getting snotty.
"No."
"Well I'm not leaving without my turkey sandwich."
"I can't take it because you didn't sign it." She retorts, using a new tactic.
"OK fine. Give me a pen and I'll sign it now."
"You can't"
"WHY NOT!?!?!?"
"Because you can't sign it in the store."
"WHAT? WHY NOT!"!"!"!" By now this toad-woman and I are screaming at each other.
"It's the rules."
"FINE! I'll go outside and sign it and come back in!!!"
So I do. I go out to my car, sign my name on the gift certificate right where it says "presented to" and march back in. I slam the gift certificate on the counter and stare in her beady little eyes.
"I'd like a large turkey sandwich, please" I spit though gritted teeth. She took the gift certificate with a huff and marched away.
I think she spit in my sandwich.
That's my story for the day.
Anyway, I walk in with my $5 gift certificate and order a turkey sandwich. It's $4.35. I proudly give them the gift certificate.
"We can't use this", the toad-like woman at the register tells me.
"Why not?" I ask.
"It's for $5"
"And my sandwich is $4.35. What's the problem? Don't give me change."
"I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"Because I can't."
"Ok, fine," I say. "Give me the large for $5.29"
She rings it up.
"$5.29, please"
I give her the gift certificate and $.30.
"We can't accept this," she says to me.
"WHY???"
"Because it's for $5 and this is $5.29"
"You mean it has to be the EXACT AMOUNT??? What do you have here that's exactly $5???"
"I don't know."
"Exactly. Is there a manager here?" Now I'm getting snotty.
"No."
"Well I'm not leaving without my turkey sandwich."
"I can't take it because you didn't sign it." She retorts, using a new tactic.
"OK fine. Give me a pen and I'll sign it now."
"You can't"
"WHY NOT!?!?!?"
"Because you can't sign it in the store."
"WHAT? WHY NOT!"!"!"!" By now this toad-woman and I are screaming at each other.
"It's the rules."
"FINE! I'll go outside and sign it and come back in!!!"
So I do. I go out to my car, sign my name on the gift certificate right where it says "presented to" and march back in. I slam the gift certificate on the counter and stare in her beady little eyes.
"I'd like a large turkey sandwich, please" I spit though gritted teeth. She took the gift certificate with a huff and marched away.
I think she spit in my sandwich.
That's my story for the day.
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
haha you're the funniest person ever. you have one year to coax her into getting a divorce and then marrying you. if you can acheive this, i promise i will be at the wedding.