At 2:30 today, I realized that not only had I not played an April Fools prank on anyone, but that no one had played one on me, or even within my range of perception.
I announced this to the class that was walking in around me.
Within 60 seconds, the room was rearranged to have all the desks face the opposite direction and the teacher's stand on the appropriate side.
It's an old one, but sometimes you need Supaa Turbo April Fools Justice.
I announced this to the class that was walking in around me.
Within 60 seconds, the room was rearranged to have all the desks face the opposite direction and the teacher's stand on the appropriate side.
It's an old one, but sometimes you need Supaa Turbo April Fools Justice.
"When I was a child, we had the same exercises in the case of a blast in the schools that you did here. We had the same jokes about them, too. In the event of a nuclear blast, you must cover yourself with a white fabric, and crawl slowly towards the cemetary. Why Slowly? You musn't create a panic."
Sergei Kruschev came to speak regarding his father's time as President of the Soviet Union, and the events of the Cuban Missile Crisis.
He made the point time and again how the view from their side was very much the same as ours. The fear, the sureness that the other side was bent on their destruction. Yet you could also hear a son's pride in his father's accomplishment. When World War II ended, everyone knew the world had one superpower in it. When the Missile Crisis came, they knew there were two.
My own childhood memory of Nikita Kruschev is of an enemy leader from before my time, a shadowy, cruel man who had said of my country, "We will bury you." How different that man is from the one who, on being ousted from office, said this to his son:
"If they can now relieve the top man from power with just a vote and no shed of blood, then I have not lived my life in vain."
Persistence, thy name is guinea pig.
Here's a dialog, translated out of pig - > english.
Boy: Hey there, hot stuff.
Girl: [pees on boy's face]
Boy: How YOU doin'?
Here's a dialog, translated out of pig - > english.
Boy: Hey there, hot stuff.
Girl: [pees on boy's face]
Boy: How YOU doin'?
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: Most beautiful movie I've seen in my adult life. Probably also the best.
Go see it.
I'm deliberately not telling you about it.
It's for the best.
Go see it.
I'm deliberately not telling you about it.
It's for the best.
Stange Experiences in Vegetarianism:
Cheesemonger tried to convince me that rennet (an enzyme in many cheeses) was vegetarian. After all, they don't have to kill the cow to harvest it anymore. They just sick a giant needle in the cow's stomach and suck it out!
(More details in the Veggie group here.)
Cheesemonger tried to convince me that rennet (an enzyme in many cheeses) was vegetarian. After all, they don't have to kill the cow to harvest it anymore. They just sick a giant needle in the cow's stomach and suck it out!
(More details in the Veggie group here.)
Queue music from Quantum Leap intro:
Each time he puts his quarters into the laundry machine, hoping this wash, will be his last...
So more detergent == more clean, right? Lets hope so. My giant container of laundry suds EXPLODED in the duffel as I was carrying it to the laundromat.
It takes more than one wash to get that much soap rinsed out. More than two, in fact. How many licks DOES it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop, eh?
P.S. This is SUPPOSED to be funny. No more condolences, people! As a Ricardo Montalbon villain would say, "Laugh with me! LAUGH WITH ME!!!"
Each time he puts his quarters into the laundry machine, hoping this wash, will be his last...
So more detergent == more clean, right? Lets hope so. My giant container of laundry suds EXPLODED in the duffel as I was carrying it to the laundromat.
It takes more than one wash to get that much soap rinsed out. More than two, in fact. How many licks DOES it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop, eh?
P.S. This is SUPPOSED to be funny. No more condolences, people! As a Ricardo Montalbon villain would say, "Laugh with me! LAUGH WITH ME!!!"
Taking a second photoset of Amelia on a Mad Scientist theme. (We were shooting for Steampunk, but landed at Mad Scientist instead. I blame the shortage of purple electrical tape & goggles.)
Quotes so far:
"I feel like Mardi Gras! Tits and dropping candy and everything!"
"Yay! I can pee!"
"Shut up! You got the fries!"
"Do you, um.. lubricate the potato?"
"Not that there was any livin' bejeezus inme..."
Quotes so far:
"I feel like Mardi Gras! Tits and dropping candy and everything!"
"Yay! I can pee!"
"Shut up! You got the fries!"
"Do you, um.. lubricate the potato?"
"Not that there was any livin' bejeezus inme..."
Experimenting with different uses for this journal.
First it was an archive for stuff posted by ME to various boards.
Now I shall experiment with neglecting it.
Already have too many online journals.
If you've a reason I should be posting here in addition to WhereAmI.org and LJ, leave a comment.
*wanders off, expecting to find nothing for comments later*
First it was an archive for stuff posted by ME to various boards.
Now I shall experiment with neglecting it.
Already have too many online journals.
If you've a reason I should be posting here in addition to WhereAmI.org and LJ, leave a comment.
*wanders off, expecting to find nothing for comments later*
I have a friend.
His name is Jon.
This is his story.
When Jon was much younger, still in middle school to be specific, he read The Lord of the Rings. He read them at night, after the rest of the house had gone to sleep. He read instead of sleeping. His parents had a strict lights out policy, but both he and his sister discovered the Flashlight Under The Sheets Until Mom & Dad Fall Asleep trick years before.
Sometime during The Two Towers, Jon first saw The Green Fry Guy.
I don't know how many nights of sleep deprivation this was at this point. Jon's a smart kid. Probably just a few nights, guessing at his reading rate. According to Jon, it was a little man, poofed out with green fur, with big eyes and little hands and feet that poked out of the fur. A lot like the Green Fry Guy from the McDonalds mythos. Jon looked at the Fry Guy and the Fry Guy looked at Jon, and then beckoned Jon to follow him back under the bed. Jon just stared at him. He walked back under the bed.
Jon, as I said, is a smart fellow. He had heard that if you didn't sleep, you could hallucinate. He decided to finish the chapter, mark his place, and go to sleep. The Green Fry Guy came back out from under the bed and watched him while he did this. He tried to get Jon to follow him under the bed again. Jon explained to the little green man that he was a hallucination, and would not be followed anywhere.
Eventually, Jon finished the chapter, put the book down, went to sleep, and never saw the little green man again.
* * *
This is not the first time this story has been told. Before telling it to me, Jon had told the story to one of his high school friends. One who had done her share of acid in her day. And my share. And the share of kid sitting next to you. She shot back, "I've seen him too! Only he was in a window! And he wanted me to follow him! ...and I did. It was a second story window."
Years after Jon told me the story, I shared it with my first lover on one of those walks you have. She thought about it for a while. Then she responded, "My grandmother said she once saw a furry little green man in the woods. He wanted her to follow him. He was trying to get her to go into a hole under a stump out in the woods. She didn't."
* * *
So, should you ever see the little Green Fry Guy, and he beckons you to follow him...
Don't.
This has been a public service announcement.
This is a 'true' story (accepting that one of the characters seems to be a shared hallucination).
Names have been left unchanged to endanger the innocent.
His name is Jon.
This is his story.
When Jon was much younger, still in middle school to be specific, he read The Lord of the Rings. He read them at night, after the rest of the house had gone to sleep. He read instead of sleeping. His parents had a strict lights out policy, but both he and his sister discovered the Flashlight Under The Sheets Until Mom & Dad Fall Asleep trick years before.
Sometime during The Two Towers, Jon first saw The Green Fry Guy.
I don't know how many nights of sleep deprivation this was at this point. Jon's a smart kid. Probably just a few nights, guessing at his reading rate. According to Jon, it was a little man, poofed out with green fur, with big eyes and little hands and feet that poked out of the fur. A lot like the Green Fry Guy from the McDonalds mythos. Jon looked at the Fry Guy and the Fry Guy looked at Jon, and then beckoned Jon to follow him back under the bed. Jon just stared at him. He walked back under the bed.
Jon, as I said, is a smart fellow. He had heard that if you didn't sleep, you could hallucinate. He decided to finish the chapter, mark his place, and go to sleep. The Green Fry Guy came back out from under the bed and watched him while he did this. He tried to get Jon to follow him under the bed again. Jon explained to the little green man that he was a hallucination, and would not be followed anywhere.
Eventually, Jon finished the chapter, put the book down, went to sleep, and never saw the little green man again.
* * *
This is not the first time this story has been told. Before telling it to me, Jon had told the story to one of his high school friends. One who had done her share of acid in her day. And my share. And the share of kid sitting next to you. She shot back, "I've seen him too! Only he was in a window! And he wanted me to follow him! ...and I did. It was a second story window."
Years after Jon told me the story, I shared it with my first lover on one of those walks you have. She thought about it for a while. Then she responded, "My grandmother said she once saw a furry little green man in the woods. He wanted her to follow him. He was trying to get her to go into a hole under a stump out in the woods. She didn't."
* * *
So, should you ever see the little Green Fry Guy, and he beckons you to follow him...
Don't.
This has been a public service announcement.
This is a 'true' story (accepting that one of the characters seems to be a shared hallucination).
Names have been left unchanged to endanger the innocent.
