God damn I am so frustrated right now with the medical profession. Dr appointments being changed without notice then they claim that they called. Well I don't have a home phone, I only have a cell phone that is always not more than 3 feet away from Me at any given time of they day. If they had called I think i would have heard it or seen the display light up as it is not a flip type phone. These were not appointments for a physical or some minor thing , this is to get the ok for Me to have surgery that will at the minimum help me have a better life allowing me to maybe have a higher degree of functon, than just sitting in my house almost a prisoner. The are screwing with My goddamn life and they act like it's no big deal. DAMN IT !!!! at what point do you just call them an asshole and just start going off in a big yelling mess ? I think I was close to that today. The appointment is rescheduled but it's not like I can just get up and go to it , I have to have help with my goddamn chair at least for a little longer until I get in better health and can walk and stand as long as i need to to get into the doctors office. Sometimes I think i am not meant to have this damn surgery but then i don't really belive in a preplanned destiny... I AM PISSED...
My health isn't the greatest. I am insulin resistant, have gout, kidney problems, and heart and lung failure.
I am preparing for a gastric bypass that will probably take place in September. This Thursday I go to the cardiologist for testing to make sure My heart can handle the surgery. After that, on the 23rd I go to the pulmonologist to have My lungs checked out. Then I will have an upper endoscopy to check My stomach for ulcers. If all three things pass, then I will be scheduled for surgery. This whole thing scares Me badly. I don't want to die from surgery or complications, but I know if I don't have the surgery, I may die from health problems. It will be a slow painful death. So far in My life I have had a DVT, pulmonary embolism, G.I. bleed, have been hospitalized because I wasn't breathing well and was told that I have sleep apnea and cor pulmonale. I was hospitalized about 3 weeks ago for pneumonia and a possible second pulmonary embolism.
I weigh over the limit of the table that they would use to confirm the P.E. so they were not willing to do the test to confirm I have it, they just treated me for pneumonia and a PE. 8 horrible boring days in the hospital 7 and a hlalf of those were in ICU. I was lectured about My weight alot , like I don't know that i am overweight and in poor health. I think there is nothing wrong with being overweight if You can manage Your life and are in good health. But I cannot do the things i would like to or need to so this must change. One way or the other I have to lose the weight. Losing weight also has the benefits of maybe allowing Me to find a girlfriend, I have been alone and feeling lonely since My divorce 7 years ago. I also have the problem of being shy around women , especially the ones that I am attracted to. My wife was one of the first women that showed Me attention and that made me feel good. She was totally different than I am and that was a major problem. We shared little in common. She was also very selfish and controlling. She was never happy unless she had what she wanted. I would go to work and She would be out spending My paycheck, My marriage is a subjuct for a different entry as I still have alot of issues that need to be dealt with concerning My marriage. I haven't heard from her in 3 years except for one email she sent to me to ask how i was and that was it, Its nice not having her around but part of Me still misses her. I am done for today.
I am preparing for a gastric bypass that will probably take place in September. This Thursday I go to the cardiologist for testing to make sure My heart can handle the surgery. After that, on the 23rd I go to the pulmonologist to have My lungs checked out. Then I will have an upper endoscopy to check My stomach for ulcers. If all three things pass, then I will be scheduled for surgery. This whole thing scares Me badly. I don't want to die from surgery or complications, but I know if I don't have the surgery, I may die from health problems. It will be a slow painful death. So far in My life I have had a DVT, pulmonary embolism, G.I. bleed, have been hospitalized because I wasn't breathing well and was told that I have sleep apnea and cor pulmonale. I was hospitalized about 3 weeks ago for pneumonia and a possible second pulmonary embolism.
I weigh over the limit of the table that they would use to confirm the P.E. so they were not willing to do the test to confirm I have it, they just treated me for pneumonia and a PE. 8 horrible boring days in the hospital 7 and a hlalf of those were in ICU. I was lectured about My weight alot , like I don't know that i am overweight and in poor health. I think there is nothing wrong with being overweight if You can manage Your life and are in good health. But I cannot do the things i would like to or need to so this must change. One way or the other I have to lose the weight. Losing weight also has the benefits of maybe allowing Me to find a girlfriend, I have been alone and feeling lonely since My divorce 7 years ago. I also have the problem of being shy around women , especially the ones that I am attracted to. My wife was one of the first women that showed Me attention and that made me feel good. She was totally different than I am and that was a major problem. We shared little in common. She was also very selfish and controlling. She was never happy unless she had what she wanted. I would go to work and She would be out spending My paycheck, My marriage is a subjuct for a different entry as I still have alot of issues that need to be dealt with concerning My marriage. I haven't heard from her in 3 years except for one email she sent to me to ask how i was and that was it, Its nice not having her around but part of Me still misses her. I am done for today.
