This is in all likelihood my last blog post here. My account expires on January 16 and I'm not renewing it, so this is the last you'll see of me unless one of those roaming, mysterious benefactors gifts me with a few more months, as I've heard they've been known to do for long-time site users. (Has it really been almost 8 years? Hot damn.)

Fat lot of good this'll do me, posting it at 3:45am (when no one will see it), but I guess the time is right for a fond farewell.

A few hours from now, I begin driving north, as I'm moving to Michigan, which is, incidentally, where I grew up. I'll be in the Detroit area, sharing a house with a wonderful woman I've known since 1997.

On that note, I'll leave you with a few songs that have been touching me lately.









... also, Esthero's "Black Mermaid" demo, which is shockingly sweet and beautiful.

And so... until next time!

This is the most beautiful music I've heard in a really long time.

I was planning on writing something to post this past Sunday (August 29, the 5th anniversary) about Hurricane Katrina, since I was in New Orleans when it happened, but my heart just wasn't in it. Especially not after wading through pages of google image search results for "hurricane katrina". Not sure what made me think it was a good idea to look at those.

Twilight is just like soccer. They run around for two hours, nobody scores, and its billion fanatical fans insist you just don't understand.

Numb.

How did I get here?

Well, my birthday came and went on Tuesday.

I generally don't celebrate birthdays or holidays. As such, I didn't get any presents. Oh well.

I wish I had some local friends, so I could've at least gone out and got drunk with them or something.

Being shy and having agoraphobia really sucks.

Today (August 4) is my thirty-third birthday.

I don't want to be old. I want to be young and hot. ... and a girl. But I suppose that's neither here nor there.

I have nothing at all going for me. No friends, no social life, no job, and nothing about my life that seems interesting. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother.

I just wish there was some easy way out of the hole I seem to have dug myself info. But since there's not, I have no idea about what to do with my life.

Sometimes I wonder if being dead would be more fun than my current situation. I'm not (well, not much) suicidal these days, even though I have nothing to live for.

I just wish there was an easy fix for all this.

So today I talked my dad into loaning me $500 to cover bills and whatnot until I get my tax refunds in 60-90 days*. So big ups on dad for that.

My meds have been changed recently. I'm now on Lamictal, Geodon, Effexor XR, Ambien CR and Klonopin.

I applied for a job at Target. Haven't heard back from them yet. I feel so useless that I wonder why I should've even bothered. I was denied for unemployment benefits, too, via a form letter I received today. I've already begun the appeal process.

* Apparently the IRS didn't receive my tax filings when I first sent them in March. So I had to send them again, this time using certified mail. If they fuck it up again this time, I'll be beyond pissed.

And now, the music video for one of my favourite songs, "Shine" by Slowdive. I ♥ Slowdive.