Some people are a little confused why I suddenly changed my ambitions to detective and criminology work when I've been dedicating my life the past few years to music and guitar. This post is to explain such reasonings and also the inspirations on why it seems why I suddenly changed directions.
The main reason: injustice. I won't go to deep into it but I have had injustice brought down upon me several times over my life; rape, slandering, wrongful persecution by close ones, etc. The biggest ones just happened to have had happen the past year in terms of wrongful slandering and being victimized by those close to me. Biggest example; those I thought were loving and close to me wanted me in the asylum when I was suicidal. They wished I was dead instead of actually helping me and loving me. This injustice will eventually have it's punishment either via their own guilt or some sort of karma. Needless to say it brought me to think that "enough is enough" and to actually fix injustice in the world, to actually go and help others as well as investigate and figure out the truths behind things.
One thing I learned from my latest ex was that I have an unusual talent into peering into and investigating into her; why she did the things she did, what she actually felt or did, etc. This was an invasion to her own privacy, but it wasn't my fault that she left so much evidence around. This was both wrong but also an inspiration. I learned then I have more of a natural talent to investigate and find things around from others or from what people have left some sort of evidence about. I always had it, and I used it to my advantage on more then one occasion, but I never had an epiphany about it until after I found out what I needed. Then I came to actually thinking about it, and realized my natural ambitions have always hinted towards it over the years.
I should mention I took an Administration of Justice course last year and the Professor I had also inspired me to go into detective work. I did amazingly well in the class and my Professor was very proud about me having a natural flare about me when it came to the quizzes and final (which took me less then 10 minutes to complete). Her class did have a influence on me and my ambition to become a detective. So here I am, taking Criminal Investigation and Criminal Offender Profiling this semester, and aiming to get my AA in Criminology by next year hopefully (still need to get some G.E. classes out of the way as well as take a few more Criminology classes before I transfer to USC). Wasn't just her class, but as well as those who inspired me to become something better in terms of morality. Oddly enough, they all came from sources of fictional works. But despite their fictional universes, their ideas and heroism is just as real as their characters' dedication to helping and justifying others.
The biggest influence was "The World's Greatest Detective", the "Dark Knight", or what he is more commonly known as... Batman. I grew up with this superhero as a kid and still to this day does he amaze me. Hell I even had a Batman night light next to my bed when I was a toddler. Batman was also a great hero to me. Though the 90's films rarely showed the detective side of Batman, the television and the recent Christopher Nolan trilogy showed what he could do when he's investigating and preventing crimes. With his gadgets and Batcave technology, he used them to figure out the villain's plans, in order to protect Goth City and in some cases, the world.
He also brought up the morality side of justice and revenge into me. When I sought out revenge for those that have wronged me, I always did my best to remember that revenge doesn't nor will it ever satisfy. Bruce Wayne explained this to Dick Grayson (Robin) when his family was killed in Batman Forever saying...
"Then it will happen this way: You make the kill, but your pain doesn't die with Harvey [Two-face], it grows. So you run out into the night to find another face, and another, and another, until one terrible morning you wake up and realize that revenge has become your whole life and you won't know why."
In Batman Begins when his parents' killer was let out on parole, Bruce went to court with a gun in order to revenge his father, only to have his moment taken away by a hit-woman from the Mob that killed the man who killed Bruce's parents. After confessing to Rachel about his intentions to kill the man, he was give a few well-deserve slaps from Rachel. The points were clear; though one can obsess with revenge, it's not justice nor will it ever be justice. So when I've been wrong I usually have done my best to not seek revenge but justification of some sort. On rare cases, people that have wrong me eventually come to terms and realized what they have done, and we can move on past what they have done and grow from there.
Another example of influence would be my crime shows that I'd watch over the years. Starting with NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Services almost a decade ago. I was drawn in and introduce to this show by a family friend that acted as a grandmother to me. I was always intrigued by the ambitions and no-nonsense attitude of Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. A head strong man with an intuition so strong he can (literally) feel it in his gut; reminds me too much of my personal grandfather who helped shape me as a person. I always tend to gravitate towards those who are great people with stubborn attitudes but have great morals and ambitions to do what's right. Nothing fits that description better then Gibbs and his team when it comes to being just regular people going out there to get well-deserve justice.
An example as well would be Detective Elliot "El" Stabler from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Though his personality requires him to have a look at in a psychiatric standpoint. His ambitions and tough demeanor what really get to inspirations. As a victim of sexual assault, I can relate to many of the episodes that are related to such a crime, so I can get behind this universe of New York City very easily. Stabler, despite all that he's come across and all the sick and twisted world that he's seen and witness, he never called it quits and kept on going in order to help the citizens of New York. Though he may break rules more often then bending them, he does what he thinks is right in order to achieve justice in some form. In every case he's able to frighten the suspects into telling them what he wanted to know, or make cleaver ways of getting the information out of them or even using an option C in getting the information some place else (like talking to a child or going under cover).
Lastly would be the BBC series, Sherlock. Now anyone who knows me knows of how obsessed with this modern twist of Sir Author Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes I have. It is the crowning achievement of what television series really got me into investigation. In this version, Sherlock is a "high functioning sociopath" that can profile a person or a crime and be spot on almost 80% of the time. His methods and the way his brain works is phenomenal! I hope to one day achieve such an intelligence or at least have a brain that can process that much information as much as he can. I also aim to have Watson's heart and bravery. Though I won't ever have the British Royal Army training he had, nor will I have his physician knowledge, he's a great asset to Sherlock in terms of being his conscious of support and at times even his slap of reality during the cases. I need a companion like that at all times (which I'm glad I have my Ash for, as she acts as my Watson). Anyone who's seen the show will instantly realize why this show catapulted me into becoming a detective.
Recently I got into a show by my girlfriend and her closest friends watch called Doctor Who (2005-present). I knew very little about the show but after watching an episode at Cameron's house, I instantly was fixated on it and went to put the entire Doctor Who series onto my Netflix instant que. The Doctor is amazing. Though he doesn't have anything to do with criminology directly, he is an investigator and crime fighter. Every episode he investigates weird events or helps people overcome the alien, weird, or supernatural. With his vast knowledge of history and 900 years of experience, he uses his wisdom to help others. And he has dealt with his fair share of loss and injustice to his people, the Time Lords, and feels the loneliness that is being forever alone. Losing his children, family, and race, he goes on to make sure anyone he encounters doesn't have to suffer like he did; in the entirety of history and space. That make him one hell of a being for being so unnaturally unselfish. He will do anything to help those and it's what drives him to keep going and to help those who call for the Doctor. That alone should inspire anyone to become better selves and to make the world, or if possible, the entire universe a better place.
Lastly, and most significantly, would be the original Sherlock Holmes. The original Consulting Detective of Victorian London. I don't have to explain this man, who is essentially Sir Author Conan Doyle's own criminological mind in a physical character. Everyone knows of his brilliance in some form, either from the 80's television series "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes", to the recent Guy Richies "Sherlock Holmes" films, or from the original source; A Study in Scarlet and other novels and short stories by Sir Doyle. For me, it was one of my grandfather's books of Sherlock Holmes of collective short stories and one novel that did it for me. I read it while I was in the hospitals during my suicide era earlier this year. I then went out and bought all of the collective works of Sherlock Holmes. Most of them are pure brilliance, and it's what drove me into becoming a detective.
So out of all these inspirations, their experiences, my own experiences, and those supporting and pushing me to become a better person, I decided that going into Law Enforcement and one day becoming a detective is what I must do. I must do it for all the injustice I have witnessed, both to my person and to those I love... I must do it for those who suffer and are victimized by criminal creatures that live off the pain and misery of others... I must do it to claim justice to those who turn a blind eye and don't stand for what is right... most of all, I must do it for myself and for my future daughter I hope to have one day; to make the world just a little bit safer for her, my darling future daughter... Ophelia Lily Athbhreith.
The main reason: injustice. I won't go to deep into it but I have had injustice brought down upon me several times over my life; rape, slandering, wrongful persecution by close ones, etc. The biggest ones just happened to have had happen the past year in terms of wrongful slandering and being victimized by those close to me. Biggest example; those I thought were loving and close to me wanted me in the asylum when I was suicidal. They wished I was dead instead of actually helping me and loving me. This injustice will eventually have it's punishment either via their own guilt or some sort of karma. Needless to say it brought me to think that "enough is enough" and to actually fix injustice in the world, to actually go and help others as well as investigate and figure out the truths behind things.
One thing I learned from my latest ex was that I have an unusual talent into peering into and investigating into her; why she did the things she did, what she actually felt or did, etc. This was an invasion to her own privacy, but it wasn't my fault that she left so much evidence around. This was both wrong but also an inspiration. I learned then I have more of a natural talent to investigate and find things around from others or from what people have left some sort of evidence about. I always had it, and I used it to my advantage on more then one occasion, but I never had an epiphany about it until after I found out what I needed. Then I came to actually thinking about it, and realized my natural ambitions have always hinted towards it over the years.
I should mention I took an Administration of Justice course last year and the Professor I had also inspired me to go into detective work. I did amazingly well in the class and my Professor was very proud about me having a natural flare about me when it came to the quizzes and final (which took me less then 10 minutes to complete). Her class did have a influence on me and my ambition to become a detective. So here I am, taking Criminal Investigation and Criminal Offender Profiling this semester, and aiming to get my AA in Criminology by next year hopefully (still need to get some G.E. classes out of the way as well as take a few more Criminology classes before I transfer to USC). Wasn't just her class, but as well as those who inspired me to become something better in terms of morality. Oddly enough, they all came from sources of fictional works. But despite their fictional universes, their ideas and heroism is just as real as their characters' dedication to helping and justifying others.
The biggest influence was "The World's Greatest Detective", the "Dark Knight", or what he is more commonly known as... Batman. I grew up with this superhero as a kid and still to this day does he amaze me. Hell I even had a Batman night light next to my bed when I was a toddler. Batman was also a great hero to me. Though the 90's films rarely showed the detective side of Batman, the television and the recent Christopher Nolan trilogy showed what he could do when he's investigating and preventing crimes. With his gadgets and Batcave technology, he used them to figure out the villain's plans, in order to protect Goth City and in some cases, the world.
He also brought up the morality side of justice and revenge into me. When I sought out revenge for those that have wronged me, I always did my best to remember that revenge doesn't nor will it ever satisfy. Bruce Wayne explained this to Dick Grayson (Robin) when his family was killed in Batman Forever saying...
"Then it will happen this way: You make the kill, but your pain doesn't die with Harvey [Two-face], it grows. So you run out into the night to find another face, and another, and another, until one terrible morning you wake up and realize that revenge has become your whole life and you won't know why."
In Batman Begins when his parents' killer was let out on parole, Bruce went to court with a gun in order to revenge his father, only to have his moment taken away by a hit-woman from the Mob that killed the man who killed Bruce's parents. After confessing to Rachel about his intentions to kill the man, he was give a few well-deserve slaps from Rachel. The points were clear; though one can obsess with revenge, it's not justice nor will it ever be justice. So when I've been wrong I usually have done my best to not seek revenge but justification of some sort. On rare cases, people that have wrong me eventually come to terms and realized what they have done, and we can move on past what they have done and grow from there.
Another example of influence would be my crime shows that I'd watch over the years. Starting with NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Services almost a decade ago. I was drawn in and introduce to this show by a family friend that acted as a grandmother to me. I was always intrigued by the ambitions and no-nonsense attitude of Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. A head strong man with an intuition so strong he can (literally) feel it in his gut; reminds me too much of my personal grandfather who helped shape me as a person. I always tend to gravitate towards those who are great people with stubborn attitudes but have great morals and ambitions to do what's right. Nothing fits that description better then Gibbs and his team when it comes to being just regular people going out there to get well-deserve justice.
An example as well would be Detective Elliot "El" Stabler from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Though his personality requires him to have a look at in a psychiatric standpoint. His ambitions and tough demeanor what really get to inspirations. As a victim of sexual assault, I can relate to many of the episodes that are related to such a crime, so I can get behind this universe of New York City very easily. Stabler, despite all that he's come across and all the sick and twisted world that he's seen and witness, he never called it quits and kept on going in order to help the citizens of New York. Though he may break rules more often then bending them, he does what he thinks is right in order to achieve justice in some form. In every case he's able to frighten the suspects into telling them what he wanted to know, or make cleaver ways of getting the information out of them or even using an option C in getting the information some place else (like talking to a child or going under cover).
Lastly would be the BBC series, Sherlock. Now anyone who knows me knows of how obsessed with this modern twist of Sir Author Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes I have. It is the crowning achievement of what television series really got me into investigation. In this version, Sherlock is a "high functioning sociopath" that can profile a person or a crime and be spot on almost 80% of the time. His methods and the way his brain works is phenomenal! I hope to one day achieve such an intelligence or at least have a brain that can process that much information as much as he can. I also aim to have Watson's heart and bravery. Though I won't ever have the British Royal Army training he had, nor will I have his physician knowledge, he's a great asset to Sherlock in terms of being his conscious of support and at times even his slap of reality during the cases. I need a companion like that at all times (which I'm glad I have my Ash for, as she acts as my Watson). Anyone who's seen the show will instantly realize why this show catapulted me into becoming a detective.
Recently I got into a show by my girlfriend and her closest friends watch called Doctor Who (2005-present). I knew very little about the show but after watching an episode at Cameron's house, I instantly was fixated on it and went to put the entire Doctor Who series onto my Netflix instant que. The Doctor is amazing. Though he doesn't have anything to do with criminology directly, he is an investigator and crime fighter. Every episode he investigates weird events or helps people overcome the alien, weird, or supernatural. With his vast knowledge of history and 900 years of experience, he uses his wisdom to help others. And he has dealt with his fair share of loss and injustice to his people, the Time Lords, and feels the loneliness that is being forever alone. Losing his children, family, and race, he goes on to make sure anyone he encounters doesn't have to suffer like he did; in the entirety of history and space. That make him one hell of a being for being so unnaturally unselfish. He will do anything to help those and it's what drives him to keep going and to help those who call for the Doctor. That alone should inspire anyone to become better selves and to make the world, or if possible, the entire universe a better place.
Lastly, and most significantly, would be the original Sherlock Holmes. The original Consulting Detective of Victorian London. I don't have to explain this man, who is essentially Sir Author Conan Doyle's own criminological mind in a physical character. Everyone knows of his brilliance in some form, either from the 80's television series "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes", to the recent Guy Richies "Sherlock Holmes" films, or from the original source; A Study in Scarlet and other novels and short stories by Sir Doyle. For me, it was one of my grandfather's books of Sherlock Holmes of collective short stories and one novel that did it for me. I read it while I was in the hospitals during my suicide era earlier this year. I then went out and bought all of the collective works of Sherlock Holmes. Most of them are pure brilliance, and it's what drove me into becoming a detective.
So out of all these inspirations, their experiences, my own experiences, and those supporting and pushing me to become a better person, I decided that going into Law Enforcement and one day becoming a detective is what I must do. I must do it for all the injustice I have witnessed, both to my person and to those I love... I must do it for those who suffer and are victimized by criminal creatures that live off the pain and misery of others... I must do it to claim justice to those who turn a blind eye and don't stand for what is right... most of all, I must do it for myself and for my future daughter I hope to have one day; to make the world just a little bit safer for her, my darling future daughter... Ophelia Lily Athbhreith.