Breaking up is tough, especially after a year and a half. However, I've been contemplating doing it for quite a while and to continue faking this isn't fair to me or her. My girlfriend is smart, pretty and down to earth. We never fight because we're both allergic to drama, but I sometimes wonder if it also because we never discuss anything that we care enough about to fight over it. She's taking nursing in university and works a part-time job, so she's busy a lot of the time, and frequently tired. The only thing she reads in her spare time are celebrity gossip magazines because she finds them relaxing. However, this also means the only things she has to talk about is gossip, either about the people we know or celebrities we don't. This is extremely problematic, because one of the best ways to seduce me is through conversation, and talking about celebrities annoys me so much I want to stab myself in the ear so I don't have to listen anymore. I know the problem isn't just me because I'll meet up with friends and we'll talk about politics, society, science and whatever else interests us. I've talked to her about how I need good conversation to be happy in a relationship, and things got better for a little while, but now we're back to gossip. I don't think we share enough common interests to keep this relationship going any longer, and she doesn't have the time to develop any new ones with me.
The other problem is sex. I am a bit of an exhibitionist and I love turning people on without having to resort to humping their crotch. I'd probably make a great male stripper. The most fun I've ever had in bed was with a girl who was saving sex for marriage. I didn't even go down her pants. But she had a fetish for undoing buttons, scratching, biting, bondage, talking dirty, S&M role play, riding crops, and a thousand other things. Based on looks, my girlfriend is hotter, and the initial phase was exciting and fun. However, her only fetish is for schoolgirl role play, which is the most vanilla fetish in the world, along side cheerleaders. There's only so many times you can ask someone what they'd be willing to do for an 'A'. She also doesn't "light up" any of my other fetishes (tattoos and piercings, etc.) Based on all of this, my course of action should be pretty clear. There's only one problem.
There's never been a "good" time to dump her. She seems to love me a lot, since I'm usually a pretty awesome boyfriend and some of her past boyfriends were apparently less than stellar. This makes me feel guilty for not returning those feelings to the same extent. I'd say that I love her, but I'm no longer in love with her. I feel like we're more like business partners/friends than lovers. I've played a big support role for her, as the past year has been really difficult and she's always looking after other people so no one else looks after her. However, this means I've spent a lot of the past year and a half giving advice, listening, arguing with other people, moving stuff, etc. and not much time having fun with her. I don't blame her for this, but it doesn't change the fact that dating her often isn't much fun for me. The last couple months have been better and she's mostly gotten back on her feet. I hate to knock her back down again, since she just can't get a break, but at least things in her life are more stable now. Also, since she's so busy, we don't get to spend much time together anymore, so hopefully she'll be too busy to really be impacted by the breakup. I don't want to do it later in the semester because I'm worried it would distract her from midterms or finals.
I've been purposefully being a bit more distant the last couple weeks so that she'll have a bit of a heads up. She is a smart girl, so I think she's probably already wondering if its coming. That's kind of a shitty feeling, but I have to do this sooner or later. If anyone bothers reading all this, please don't think I'm an ass and wish me luck!
ps. I hate to admit it, but another reason I've been less than pleased is that she broke my skateboard. It was my fault for leaving it at her house while I went on a work trip, but she panicked and threw the whole thing in the garbage and didn't tell me until a month later. I don't know exactly how she broke it. The board was a bamboo Habitat 8" with Independent trucks and was a birthday gift from my parents. I know things have been rough for her, but she promised to buy me a replacement board. Its been more than 2 months since she promised me a new board, and she's gone out shopping and bought herself expensive shampoos and and new outfits since then. I don't know how much she spent, and it was probably some much needed shopping therapy, but I still miss my board.
The other problem is sex. I am a bit of an exhibitionist and I love turning people on without having to resort to humping their crotch. I'd probably make a great male stripper. The most fun I've ever had in bed was with a girl who was saving sex for marriage. I didn't even go down her pants. But she had a fetish for undoing buttons, scratching, biting, bondage, talking dirty, S&M role play, riding crops, and a thousand other things. Based on looks, my girlfriend is hotter, and the initial phase was exciting and fun. However, her only fetish is for schoolgirl role play, which is the most vanilla fetish in the world, along side cheerleaders. There's only so many times you can ask someone what they'd be willing to do for an 'A'. She also doesn't "light up" any of my other fetishes (tattoos and piercings, etc.) Based on all of this, my course of action should be pretty clear. There's only one problem.
There's never been a "good" time to dump her. She seems to love me a lot, since I'm usually a pretty awesome boyfriend and some of her past boyfriends were apparently less than stellar. This makes me feel guilty for not returning those feelings to the same extent. I'd say that I love her, but I'm no longer in love with her. I feel like we're more like business partners/friends than lovers. I've played a big support role for her, as the past year has been really difficult and she's always looking after other people so no one else looks after her. However, this means I've spent a lot of the past year and a half giving advice, listening, arguing with other people, moving stuff, etc. and not much time having fun with her. I don't blame her for this, but it doesn't change the fact that dating her often isn't much fun for me. The last couple months have been better and she's mostly gotten back on her feet. I hate to knock her back down again, since she just can't get a break, but at least things in her life are more stable now. Also, since she's so busy, we don't get to spend much time together anymore, so hopefully she'll be too busy to really be impacted by the breakup. I don't want to do it later in the semester because I'm worried it would distract her from midterms or finals.
I've been purposefully being a bit more distant the last couple weeks so that she'll have a bit of a heads up. She is a smart girl, so I think she's probably already wondering if its coming. That's kind of a shitty feeling, but I have to do this sooner or later. If anyone bothers reading all this, please don't think I'm an ass and wish me luck!
ps. I hate to admit it, but another reason I've been less than pleased is that she broke my skateboard. It was my fault for leaving it at her house while I went on a work trip, but she panicked and threw the whole thing in the garbage and didn't tell me until a month later. I don't know exactly how she broke it. The board was a bamboo Habitat 8" with Independent trucks and was a birthday gift from my parents. I know things have been rough for her, but she promised to buy me a replacement board. Its been more than 2 months since she promised me a new board, and she's gone out shopping and bought herself expensive shampoos and and new outfits since then. I don't know how much she spent, and it was probably some much needed shopping therapy, but I still miss my board.