This is ridiculous. I can't get her out of my head. It's like when you've played tetris or guitar hero for a few too many hours and it's the only thing you can see when closing your eyes. Burned into your memory.
For months I pined over her presence, saw my spirits soar with even the slightest smile or acknowledgment. As she beamed across the dining room, the usual clutter of service halted for a moment, my day made. It was crushing. I had heard about her dude across the country. And so I was trapped in a akward, hesitant place; unable to lift a 4 year slump that was slowly eating my soul from one forlorn failure to the next, watching another chance at happiness slip away.
Friday was...to say the least, completely fucking amazing. Though I find my situation up in the air, it's clear that whatever the result, I'm back. A certain part of myself, broken and beaten and buried in that cold Utah desert has been returned to me, matured and nourished. And while I can only wait for the hours to bring me closer to her the anxiety builds inside, as I'm filled with a miffed sense of longing. The smell of her lip glass. The sensation of her strong, small hands as they traced along my torso. Her curves. The way she would poke the little tip of her toungue out with every kiss, as if she couldn't wait for our lips to meet, she wanted me so bad.
And then there are the complications...and the inevitable conversation that awaits. Hopeless romantic that I am, should I even hold out hope for success? I want to have and eat my cake and eat it; seems as though she feels the same way. But would I be able to let her go come June? I guess I'll find out this Friday.
For months I pined over her presence, saw my spirits soar with even the slightest smile or acknowledgment. As she beamed across the dining room, the usual clutter of service halted for a moment, my day made. It was crushing. I had heard about her dude across the country. And so I was trapped in a akward, hesitant place; unable to lift a 4 year slump that was slowly eating my soul from one forlorn failure to the next, watching another chance at happiness slip away.
Friday was...to say the least, completely fucking amazing. Though I find my situation up in the air, it's clear that whatever the result, I'm back. A certain part of myself, broken and beaten and buried in that cold Utah desert has been returned to me, matured and nourished. And while I can only wait for the hours to bring me closer to her the anxiety builds inside, as I'm filled with a miffed sense of longing. The smell of her lip glass. The sensation of her strong, small hands as they traced along my torso. Her curves. The way she would poke the little tip of her toungue out with every kiss, as if she couldn't wait for our lips to meet, she wanted me so bad.
And then there are the complications...and the inevitable conversation that awaits. Hopeless romantic that I am, should I even hold out hope for success? I want to have and eat my cake and eat it; seems as though she feels the same way. But would I be able to let her go come June? I guess I'll find out this Friday.
sushizombies:
you can do it!