Odette notwithstanding, today's fantasy is that I stay in a hotel while a team of non-judgmental people clean my apartment.
SInuses are crazy today!!! Usually they don't bother me at all anymore. They were terrible when I lived in Virginia - i was miserable there - then cleared up completely when I moved to LA. Except today.
Emo time. Just don't feel like doing anything anymore. Not writing, not surfing the intarnutz, not even watching TV or movies. Or sleeping. nothing. The day I run out of money is pretty clearly in sight, and it feels like I am just waiting for it to happen.
After that - I don't know. Don't have a plan. Struggling has worn me out.
Edited to say: not a cry for help - just all emo.
Emo time. Just don't feel like doing anything anymore. Not writing, not surfing the intarnutz, not even watching TV or movies. Or sleeping. nothing. The day I run out of money is pretty clearly in sight, and it feels like I am just waiting for it to happen.
After that - I don't know. Don't have a plan. Struggling has worn me out.
Edited to say: not a cry for help - just all emo.
If you have children, when they are old enough tell them to make lots of money. Love is important, sure, but they must make gobs of money first and not spend it frivolously. Tell them to invest it in things that will continue to make money for them. Even if you yourself don't know how. Tell them they must. It is the only thing they really must do. Art is good and a nice hobby. It feeds the soul. But frankly, it will be pretty unimportant if they can't afford to repair a broken bone or worse.
I challenge you to find someone who cares less about who "won" Grammy Awards last night.
People, people, people...when will you learn...you can watch both the Super Bowl AND the Puppy Bowl. They run that shit all night!
My brain is tired. It is not a good time for my brain to behave in this manner. I also ate lasagna at 9PM, which is not a very excellent step in the process of getting back into physical condition in which I have been accustomed.
I have lost a lot of single female friends this past year. And by that, i don't mean we're not friends anymore, but that they aren't single. I realized this in searching for someone to accompany me to a Valentine's dinner I am organizing (which is not on Valentines Day). This year, every dame I know who would have any interest in attending this particular event is all relationshipified. Great for them and their happiness - ungreat for my companionshipular needs. I realize how annoying the language of those last few sentences could be yet I don't regret writing them.
I have lost a lot of single female friends this past year. And by that, i don't mean we're not friends anymore, but that they aren't single. I realized this in searching for someone to accompany me to a Valentine's dinner I am organizing (which is not on Valentines Day). This year, every dame I know who would have any interest in attending this particular event is all relationshipified. Great for them and their happiness - ungreat for my companionshipular needs. I realize how annoying the language of those last few sentences could be yet I don't regret writing them.
Dood! I so rarely update this. I would like to say that the LOLcats on icanhazcheesburger.com are especially funny today.
It was lovely seeing SG kin at the Roxymonensene's place last weekend.
I used to use this space to journal honestly, as there is more acceptance here than elsewhere on the intarnutz. Plus, only like 4 people read my journal. So, I am going to be doing this more often-like. That said, I am not looking for comments or readers, for that matter. This is just to get it out.
I have not been following the advice I give to others. It makes me quite the hypocrite. Or rather hipppcrite since some of it is health-related.
Lots of strange maladies these days. Often, my knee just plain won't allow me to put weight on my leg. This occurs when I am standing and attempting to move, just for that extra embarrassment factor. The past 3 days, I have awoken to the fingers on my right hand tightly clenched - and am not able to straighten my pinky until much later in the day. It is pretty tender. Also, I have become my grandmother in that I am discussing how my body isn't working.
For kicks, I filled out an eharmony profile, mostly to give me ideas for character traits, and at the end of it learned that there are only EIGHT women in the US who are compatible with me, and they are all over 50 years old. So, it's pretty much time for me to accept I am never going to have a family of my own.
Really, I have been at odds lately with the path I have chosen. And that's not healthy. I am not where I want to be right now - nor am I where I expected to be. How do I get there? How do I live the life I want to live? I don't know. If I did, I would be doing it.
I waste a lot of time, though. That's my biggest problem. That's what freaks me out as I am about to go to bed. Another day gone and what did I do? But I don't want to be that guy who wakes up and sprints toward a goal, never seeing the little things. I love the little things.
I told someone last night that I have lived a pretty damn good life. I feel love every day. I give love every day, even if I don't leave the apartment, if only through texts. And love is the only thing that matters.
It was lovely seeing SG kin at the Roxymonensene's place last weekend.
I used to use this space to journal honestly, as there is more acceptance here than elsewhere on the intarnutz. Plus, only like 4 people read my journal. So, I am going to be doing this more often-like. That said, I am not looking for comments or readers, for that matter. This is just to get it out.
I have not been following the advice I give to others. It makes me quite the hypocrite. Or rather hipppcrite since some of it is health-related.
Lots of strange maladies these days. Often, my knee just plain won't allow me to put weight on my leg. This occurs when I am standing and attempting to move, just for that extra embarrassment factor. The past 3 days, I have awoken to the fingers on my right hand tightly clenched - and am not able to straighten my pinky until much later in the day. It is pretty tender. Also, I have become my grandmother in that I am discussing how my body isn't working.
For kicks, I filled out an eharmony profile, mostly to give me ideas for character traits, and at the end of it learned that there are only EIGHT women in the US who are compatible with me, and they are all over 50 years old. So, it's pretty much time for me to accept I am never going to have a family of my own.
Really, I have been at odds lately with the path I have chosen. And that's not healthy. I am not where I want to be right now - nor am I where I expected to be. How do I get there? How do I live the life I want to live? I don't know. If I did, I would be doing it.
I waste a lot of time, though. That's my biggest problem. That's what freaks me out as I am about to go to bed. Another day gone and what did I do? But I don't want to be that guy who wakes up and sprints toward a goal, never seeing the little things. I love the little things.
I told someone last night that I have lived a pretty damn good life. I feel love every day. I give love every day, even if I don't leave the apartment, if only through texts. And love is the only thing that matters.
