blah

Going away for a bit...
but before I do, my erotic vamp film is online here -
http://zebox.com/ze/video/subterraneanfilms_-_Late_Night_Shopping.wmv

SG peeps Nic, JD, SnoopBug, Traumatron are in it..

feedback would be nice..

cheers

"Not to sound melodramatic, but this music is the most sacred and holy of all accomplishments that man has ever achieved since the beginning of time. Everything we strive for, live for, and hurt because of can be found within the lyrics of "Do the Limbo Dance." The summit of humanity IS this album, and David Hasselhuff is our Prometheus, bestowing us the fire he stole from the gods. And he brings such fire to us with a clarion voice."

"After the first track, I was so revved up I had to get out my personal lubricant. I went through a whole refrigerator full of vegetables before it all came to a head at the climax of Hotshot City. If you haven't already bought this gem, get it NOW. No other musician helps me to fill the aching void inside like David Humpinoff."

"He has borrowed elements from classical music, Patagonian earth chants, lobster squeaks and sounds from flatulent pandas to create the most eclectic and delicious melodies this side of a screaming orangutan.

And this CD captures his gift of collage perfectly. The strains from both "Crazy For You" and "Do the Limbo Dance" shatter the eardrum and fill the ear canal with warm mucous."

and a review from Scooby-Doo -
"Rello! Rhis rheedee is rone of ry revorites! Raggy and I reisten ro this rall rhe rime in rhe Rystery Rachine. Rhenever a rystery rappens, I resten ro trhis refore our renvestigation. Rit relps re relax and ralm ry rerves. Relma, Red and Raphne ron't really rike it, raying it's rame and romosexual, rut I ron't rive a thit rhat rhey rink. Ravid Rasselroff ring really recely, rin ry ropinion. Eh hee hee hee hee hee hee! Rhe rong "Rot Rhot Rity" is rarticularly rood."

praise the Almighty here - The Big D

When dancing, lost in techno trance, arms flailing gawky Bez, then find you snagged on frowns, and slowly dawns, you’re jazzing to the bleep tone of a life support machine, that marks the steady fading of your day old baby daughter,
and when midnight sirens lead to zoo flash, road mash, stretchers covered in sticky red McAdam, and you creep in blankets to snuggle close to mangle bird, but soon you too will be freezer drawered.
Then welcome,
mmm, oo chemotherapy wig, welcome in Jam,
Jam,
Jam,
Jam,
Jam,
Jaaaaaaaaaam.

"Melbourne, Australia > Urine cervical specimen chlamydia
Belgium > Couple voyeur
Tokyo, Japan > Battlefield 1942
Finland > Cuckold wife

Darkness crawls across the Atlantic and makes landfall in the Western Hemisphere. On the screen, the West Coast of the United States is ablaze with dots, while only insomniacs and night owls are still typing away in Europe. The noonday sun is now over Indonesia.

This may be the strangest time of all. The predawn monsters of European imagination meet the late-night desires of North America - then all are nearly buried by a deluge of business questions, most in kanji, pouring out of Asia. Amid this flood there are also anxious queries, perhaps from emergency room doctors short of reference books and journals.

Suva, Fiji > Gestational diabetes - diagnosing
Bhopal, India > Fecal sac
Iran > Hymen anatomy
Bangalore, India > Graze wound
Senegal > Positions pour amor"

...from Inside The Soul Of The Web

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"A million deaths will be reached on about September 18, 2003, and ten million on about October 29, 2003..."

happy happy joy joy

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I now inform you that you are too far from reality

Saturday was a busy day.

In the afternoon, we made a little zombie movie…
Nic, Traumatron, JD, SnoopBug, my tiny film crew and various zombies trudged across Northampton… upsetting old people, entertaining kids and bothering security guards.
The intention of the film is to show that 'zombies are people too' and demonstrates that the undead aren’t always trying to munch on people’s brains and vomit blood.. our undead are seen picking flowers, kicking a football, hitting the dancefloor & playing pool in a pub, trying out some pole dancing, doing window shopping and chilling with their graveyard mates.
It’s sad when people discriminate against them.. (security guards in shopping centre as zombies limped through it - "stop filming, leave now, and walk away properly")

Then at night we took over three rooms of a hotel, ate pizza, drank a lot and made an erotic vampire film..
starring Suicide Girl Nic as The Evil One, goth queen Sadie Cakes as Junkie Vamp, model Katrina Stefanova as Glam Vamp, future Suicide Girl JD as The Innocent Victim, plus Traumatron, SnoopBug and Sadie’s boyfriend Brian as Vampire Food. There was lots of blood-letting, spookyness, and of course 3 nekkid vamp girls writhing around with their female victim...

The girls looked stunning, and myself & co-director Beki Laws probably shot a lot more footage than we actually needed..

It was all very tiring but totally enjoyable, and I got to hang out with a really great bunch of people.

The zombie movie ‘Day Out Of The Dead’ will hopefully be included in a TV series and in festivals very soon..
There are also two other horror films - one called ‘Hay Fever’ about a girl who is molested by evil garden plants, the other is ‘Scream Tests’ about a nutcase film-maker abusing actors in an audition.

There’ll be three versions of the vamp movie ‘Late Night Shopping’ - one set to a trippy Dissolved remix of Radiohead's 'You And Whose Army'. It’ll also make the TV series, http://urbanchillers.com website, and upcoming festivals if we’re lucky.

And it’ll be interesting to see what SG people think of it all...

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2 of 4 little horror films now on-line - 'Hay Fever', my remake of a scene from 'The Evil Dead'
&
Suicide Girl Nic, plus Traumatron and JD in my Romero zombie homage 'Day Out Of The Dead' - *click here to see them...*

more soooon...

this weekend will be a weird one...



click here to listen to the soundtrack for my new movie...

... .. .
well, I guess I should actually write things here.
never written a journal before.
oh, the excitement (..will anyone ever read it?)... ..

things that have recently occurred -

1. yesterday a cop tried to arrest me on the train...10 of them swept through the carriage, arresting various passengers... no idea why..
"all a mistake" apparently..
I'm assuming it was because I look 'dodgy'.
(people have told me that I should never volunteer for a police line-up, as I'd be the one picked out every time..)

2. I was interviewed by a magazine called Computer Arts and I waffled some crap about the future of on-line film-making. I cringe when I read it back. Should be out next month anyway, along with some of my films on front cover DVD.. hopefully.. I could do with the publicity and attention.
look at me.
LOOK AT ME!

3. I'm trying to hold down a mind-numbing Council office job - in which I assist in giving free housing to crack dealers and arsonists...
The rest of the time, I make lots of films and assorted freakyness..

4. Yesterday I directed & filmed something called 'Scream Tests' for possible inclusion in a TV series and for Urban Chillers. It was basically a fake actors audition, hosted by a fictitious poncy director called Damiun Clavalier, who pretended to be hiring people for his films..
the actors auditioning thought it was all real, however, and just had to react as Damiun OD'd on cream cakes, played electric guitar very loud, hurled abuse at them, pretended to suffer from the effects of sleeping pill overdose, and in the end slapped and strangled an actor..
it was all very funny and strange, and the poor actors did a top job in reacting to what was going on.

Over this weekend & the next I will be re-making/re-mixing scenes from classic horror films, for the above TV series..

'Evil Dead', 'Dracula', and 'Dawn Of The Dead'..
I'll post here what happens. My gorgeous mate Beki Laws will be co-producing and providing fangs & buckets of fake blood..
The Drac vampiresses film will hopefully feature a Suicide Girl..
and if it looks as cool as I think it will then maybe she can use it as a new stills/video set for SG...

Also doing an unoffical music video for Radiohead, based around the mini stories of a girl called Lollybelle.. dunno what track to use yet... I love them all.

Film-making seems to swallow my life up..
I need some kind of hobby... like rearing orphaned badgers, or collecting celebrity belly-button fluff, or something of benefit to society.
film-makers are scum.

also I spend too much time on the internet.
it is bad.

gnight

ant
x

testing.
testing.
1.
2.
bzzt.