I am alive. Its a long story, one that I will tell in due time. All is good though.

I had my gallbladder removed on the 24th and am recovering ok. Sometimes it feels like my guts are gonna fall out of the incision at my navel. That and they glued my navel together all crooked. Ass hats.

In other news my girlfriend has fallen off of the face of the Earth. When we started talking she told me how she has been known to go into hiding. At the time I was fine with that because I have been known to do that as well. Well its been a month now and I have heard from her once. She sounded awful. None of her friends have heard from her and we are all worried. My dilemma is when does concern become pestering? I mean how do you help someone who doesn't want help. She is a grown woman. How long do I wait for her to come around. Do I wait? I am lonely, I miss my girlfriend. Things were going so great. I just wish I knew what to do. How to help and even if I should continue to want to help. I wish sometimes I didn't feel

I need to be better about this....

Spring has finally settled in here in the Midwest. I can't say how lovely it is. The trees are green again, the flowers are blooming and allergies are so alive. For real. I feel like a fucking booger factory some days.

The hubby got PCS orders (for those who don't know that's army slang for you have to move.) to Ft. Bliss Texas. He will deploy shortly after he reports so the boys and I are going to stay here. We have his family here and I am going to need their support when he is gone. I don't think it would be fair to uproot the kids just to have daddy be gone anyway. Its a shitty situation. Ten more years till he retires though. I just have to keep telling myself this. Its my new mantra.

On a way more fun note I got myself some new ink. I started my sleeve and then I finally got my upper thigh tattoos. I went with one love. I debated on them for a long time because I was so self conscious of my legs, but I decided to just say Fuck em all and do it. So without further adieu... some pictures

Ok so we are in the throws of a blizzard right now. But here is the kicker, its thundering and lightning out.

Its that time of year again. RIP little angel.

Thank you for all the kind words. I am feeling much better. Back to my old self mostly. I have to go every 8 weeks for follow ups with my neuro team. They are going to monitor my aneurysm and I am on medicine for the blood clot. Hopefully my aneurysm (I think I may name it) just sits there and doesn't grow or expand or start impeding on my life and I can live my life out normally. If not then I may have to have brain surgery but I really don't want to think about that right now.


My oldest son started first grade this year. He is so awesome. I love seeing him read. His writing still resembles his fathers: chicken scratch. Its legible but hardly. He is so excited every morning. Its so hard to believe that he is my same little 4lb. premie. The time really does fly by. Sometimes I find myself missing our quieter times together. Just him and I (me?) laying in bed together him just nursing away. I remember gazing at him and just being in such awe. We had such an awesome bond. I he was my buddy. We lived in Germany at the time and my husband was away a lot. I would throw him in the baby hawk and we would go exploring. I remember longing for adult conversation at the time but when I look back I am glad that I didn't have interference from anyone during my extended babymoon. I didn't have family members imparting their beliefs on me or others attempting to coach me. Enough nostalgia for now eh?

On Wednesday night I went to the ER because I had the worlds worst migraine. I got out of the hospital today. Brain Aneurysm on the left side of the noggin and a clot on the left. There is so much more but I can't go there yet.

I really need to update this more often. My oldest turned six this summer! I can't believe I have a six year old. He is so excited for school to start. I am such a proud momma. I have spent the summer with my kids playing outside. I kind of miss the feeling of freedom that summer brought upon me as a child.

I got to go visit an old friend from Colorado a couple of weeks ago and I was able to sneak off for a night to hang out with non other than ElGeneral. I had a blast out in Madison. Its a pretty cool town. And the General sure knows how to make a lady feel special.

I will add more to this later but I have writers block right now

I managed to make it up to the cities to pop my SG twin cities cherry. Holy shit do those people throw down. I loved every minute of it! I Had the lovely opportunity to meet some awesome kick ass folks. It took me almost three days to get rid of my hangover completely. Good times.

I have all of my flowers planted outside and the yard is coming along nicely. Next item on my landscaping agenda is to get my driveway paved. Who would have thought that cement was so fucking expensive? These people are insane. But alas they have what I want.

I went to Georgia recently to see my grandpa who had a six step bypass done out of the blue. One day he was ok the next he had some chest pain and my grandma made him go in. 12 hours later he was in surgery. The original surgery went well but a few days later he freaked out from all of the pain meds (this man doesn't even drink) and thrashed about so violently that he ripped the wires holding his chest together and shredded his sternum. They had to go back in and replace it with a titanium plate. He is home now and doing good. He isn't too happy about his new diet but he is adapting. I am just so relieved that he is on his way up. He has the sparkle back in his eye. Phew

Huge sigh of relief. I talked to her. I am happy now. I miss her so damn much. I think a trip to Colorado is in the works sooner than I expected. Now if I could just figure out what to do about her husband. Fucking men always messing shit up. Before we got close he was really happy for the two of us. Then as our relationship progressed he became increasingly jealous. I had to move because of the Army so we were literally pulled apart. Hopefully we can be together again soon.