i hope everyone knows how fucked up the world we live in is. i thought i knew, and i got smacked the fuck in the face with the realization that i had NO FUCKING CLUE HOW HORRIBLE some people can be.

i'm trying really hard to keep in mind that there are wonderful caring empathetic people around too, but it just seems so impossible not to focus on how much evil i can see in some people, Lots of people. long story short i've lost a bit of my faith in humanity.

i spent all day in a ridiculously talkitive mood despite the fact that i'm sick (my reward for finally Quitting smoking) and sounded like a 14 year old boy with my voice cracking every other word or so. my laugh was even cracking Me up it sounded so funny. Oh and Jaws was on today which i was psyched about because for some reason i've been driving around doing my interpretation of the jaws theme for the last week (oh the things i do in my car without a stereo...)

we're gonna need a bigger boat...

*mysteriously appears in a cloud of blue smoke*

howdy kids, havent been around in a while and i hope all you nerds are partying (metaphorically or literally) like its 2099. i've been staying at Kat's house a lot and have no hookup over there, but i'm still in full effect on cloud 9. start working next week which Rules cause i desperately need some cash, but sucks cause i'm gonna be juggling 40 hours there and 3 classes for about a month. Its responsibility time for sure, wish me luck.

soundtrack as of late:
Xiu Xiu- knife play, a promise (like always)

fugees/ lauryn hill- yo her newer folk type stuff is fucking good. she's just chillin playing guitar and going nuts with her kick ass voice.

neutral milk hotel- aeroplane over the sea. beautiful morbid acoustic songs to stare at clouds to.

up up down down left right left right B A start--- these are some friends of mine from jersey that i caught at the blackbird last night, mathy indy rock at its finest. they have a full legnth coming out on whatever label it is that puts out hot hot heat. and hello, greatest band name ever. and i'm sure if you ever played Contra on the old 8 bit nintendo you know why....

i'm not big on the smiley's but i'm sorry, it's probably a pretty accurate description of what i'm walking around looking like these days. now would be a good time for anyone to ask me for a favor cause i just want to run around making everyone as happy as i am. i've become the most courteous driver in the entire world which is pretty damn funny cause i learned to drive in Jersey, where its every asshole for themselves. i have a ridiculous amount of energy all the time, despite sleeping very little everynight. have to stay up and have sex ya know? dirty job, somebody's gotta do it.

i want specifics on the general idea.
i want to think what i should know
i want you to do me one to show.
i want to see movies of my dreams.

i want see it when it when you get stoned on a clouded breezy desert afternoon.
i want to see it untame itself and break its owner.
i want to see it now.


props to those that know this band.

i am officially in the euphoric new relationship stage, the most glorious of all human stages if i do say so myself. she kicks my ass so hardcore and i'm having so much damn fun. we've both been getting yelled at by our respective housemates for being glowy all the time and talking about how happy we are too much, so we're on a mission to set up all our friends. heh heh heh.i'm so sneaky. now my list of some things i like about this girl:

1) she's almost as tall as me. its so cool to not have to reach down like a foot to kiss someone...
2)she has two birds, one of which wouldve cost like a thousand bucks had she not STOLEN THE BIRD from the petstore...how hardcore is that?
3)she smokes pot. not that pot is like this giant important dependancy, but its nice to chill out and smoke w someone, and not just have them think i have a "drug problem".
4)shes getting me into a bunch of music i havent really heard before.
5)she has a perfect balance of wanting to go out and have fun, and staying in to chill and have fun.

that and shes fucking hot as all hell. and smart. and funny. and not insane in any of those bad ways.

no wonder my roommates keep telling me to shut up. ha ha, SUCKERS! jk, thats bad karma isnt it.

so the driving around w a giant hole where my stereo was is kinda suckin. i've started talking to myself cause the quiet of it all just drives me nuts. mostly reciting simpsons episodes. its actually half disturbing half awsome how much of the shows i remember. i almost got through the Entire comic book episode, when bart and martin and millhouse buy radioactive man number one.

"lets give a warm welcome for buddy "fallout boy hodges!"

"questions?"
"oh oh oh when radioactive man gets injected with shinking serum in issue 234, how come his costume shrinks too?"
"i am sure i dont know...but i did just finish playing Rum Tug Tugger in the second national touring company of Cats, anybody see it?no? ok yes, you the masked boy.."
"do you think the ghost of dirk richter haunts the bordello where his bullet riddled body was found?"
"(crying)Dirk Richter was a beautiful man...Cant You Little Vultures Leave Him Alone???"

you wake up to skin and breathing. it wasnt just a dream this time, you have your arms around it. she opens her eyes and you look at each other half awake but smiling in near disbelief. you had the best nights sleep youve had in six months. sunlight pours in through her window and you are drowning in a beautiful, beautiful day.

spring fever is in Full effect, and i'm about as happy as a five year old that just jumped into a pool of ice cream. i have been hanging out with the crush a lot, my classes are kicking ass and i get to play another show next weekend. it's so weird to be thrown back and forth so quickly between not wanting to get out of bed and waking up feeling like the entire universe is pulsing with the same blood.

oh my god, could it be any nicer out today... i think not. i wish my neighbor would move her car so i could play some basketball. maybe i'll just go find some trees to climb but i Really just have to play outside today. i used to hate sunlight, but ever since i've moved out here i seem to enjoy it so much more. prob cause its a welcome change from the ever-grey. not that i have a problem with the grey or the rain, i love it, it makes me moody and creative. must play now.