Tired. Cant sleep. Feeling fine.
I love this state of mind. Everything seems to ooze its way on and on. Time never stands still. Time does not exist. It can be seen only in clocks. Everything should go according to sunlight and weather... So in Finland we need to sleep through the winter.... So valerian-extract and good night.... See you in March

Starting feel great. I baked some superstrong spacecakes... After I had baked them I ate three cookies and I totally freaked out!. I mean serious paranoia and panic attacks!!! I nearly called my friend to ask him "where should I go now for help?". Three is way too much. One is enough and two is manageable but hree is too much.... Too bad that I didnt bake enough for everyone who wants them. They are so awesome.

Winter doesnt come with snow and the jolly ho-ho-ho especially here. wet and dark. gotta be careful not to get darkened. heh.
lets try to laugh and feeöl great abouit things so we will see another better day

Niin kauan kuin minä muistan, minua on vituttanut. Ei se että ylipäätään vaan vituttaa vaan se miten maailma pyörii. Vituttaa nälänhätä, vituttaa sodat, vituttaa selkäänpuukottaminen, vituttaa valehteleminen, vituttaa se että mulla on liian lyhyt takki, vituttaa talvi, vituttaa se että vituttaa. Muistan kun olin masentunut, sillon masensi kun vitutti. Nyt vitutuksesta saa voimaa. Se ei enää ole kaiken tiellä niin kuin se aikaisemmin vaikutti vaan nyt vitutus on kaikessa mukana. Dont leave home without. Mutta vaikka minua vituttaa koko ajan se ei tee minusta vittumaista ihmistä. Pingahdusalttiimman kyllä mutta ei lainkaan vittumaista. Ajattelen asian niin että koska minua vituttaa näin paljon, minun kuuluisi helpottaa muiden olemista ettei heitäkin vituttaisi. -Vittuuntunut samarialainen

Winter depresses some people. I dont really get depressed, just bored cause most of my activities are outdoor hobbies. And I hate staying inside. I have a ganjagarden in my backroom which keeps me occupied so I dont lose my mind.
But I really have to move outta this town. I was going to move a few months ago but my "friend" really let me down and didnt pay his debt back on time (actually I had to raise my hand and his friend paid it for him) so I missed the showing and it went to someone other. It was a friend of a friend who's appartment I was going to move in so I was going to get it if I would have been there that one Friday... But I was then trying to get my money. So now I still am stuck in this hellhole. I am ready to burn this town.
So in conclusion I have to say that winter depresses me. It would be okay if there would be snow as was fifteen years ago but now its just jet black darkness, wet and dirty ground and people looking down as they are walking. Its actually very amusing what happens to people when winter comes. The amusement is kind of dubious... I might be a little bit perverted for being amused by this massdepression which happens in Finland every winter. I just love finns. So god damned amusing folk we are. At least God Damned...

Winter in Finland...
It's too wet to go and blow my steams out on a mountainbike so I am slowly sinking in the finnish mood for the winter...

I am getting too complicated even for myself to handle. Like a hallucination on LSD. That is how my life is meandering around now. I cant get focused on anything...

What is happening to me...



"Hitting bottom isn't a weekend retreat. It's not a goddamn seminar. Stop trying to control everything and just let go! LET GO!"

I have beet"designing" a chestpiece for my self and yesterday i got an i dea...I was playin cards with my friend... I have the SuicideGirls playing cards and I found three cards with so cool art on them...
I am including art from those cards on my chestpiece.

I'll post a picture of it in the spring to see do you recognize the SuicideGirls on my chest

I am going to get my body tattooed from jaw to toe...

6 degrees of separation.
I've noticed that world is a small place. So small that everyone is connected to each other by no more than six other people. But yet so big that no one can really find any other who thinks the same way about everything. Of course, everyone is unique so in this connecting web of unque individuals I see a jewel of all beauty possible when I close my eyes as I try to catch sleep. Winter. Yes, again, Usually people sleep through the winter but I can not sleep. It is too dark. Only few hours of real daylight. Long nights awake and slowly exhausts... Well, almost. Because of spring which soon breaks and slaps me alive.

I burned a bridge. If people have lost their morals I'd rather be without than with...

I need a fix. I was thinking about travelling to (I guess it was in) Indonesia to that place where they reenact Via Dolorosa and the crucifiction. I want to be cupped... I want to be suspended... And I want to be crucified.

And I want to be a misfit in Finland.

I had my nipples pierced for the second time and damn it feels good. The feeling after is like high on morphine. But it's endorphine. And I love it. too bad that I cant get third barbells in my nipples. But I recommend it to everyone who is into piercings. But it has to be done by two piercers at the same moment.

I've got two therapysessions scheduled now. First to my piercer, I'm going to get vertical nipplepiercing. Both nipples ath the same moment GREAT!
And about week after that I'm going to continue my sleeve to Speedo, who really can make awesome old school tats.