age: 40 (Jun 23, 1971)

MEMBER SINCE: October 2002

occupation: Radio/TV host.

body mods: My internal organs are an intricate system of pulleys and levers.

most humbling moment: Every day.

heroes: Carlin, Mailer, Zevon. Gone, but hardly forgotten.

sign: External Use Only

crush: Renders me completely weak and powerless.

makes me happy: Tess's lemonade, naps, nailing a punchline, drinking to excess, morning sex, autumn road trips, Paget Brewster, dusk, the prospect of redemption, Car Talk, Monday night,

into: Insomnia, Tama+Zildjian, Escanaba Monkey Paw, unrelenting guilt, crushing self-doubt, lesbian porn. I don't worship Satan, but I do agree with a lot of what he tells me.

makes me sad: Alimony, SG's who omit obvious breast implants from "body mods", weeks in between visitation, the weight of a thousand poor choices,

gets me hot: Lack of air conditioning, moral relativity, ghetto booty, arsonist schoolgirls, Paget Brewster,

fantasy: To shed regret