my second real girlfriend/extended family member, killed herself last week. she built her own gallows.

my father has a blood clot in his leg. this is #3.

mom is a survivor, she can't be kept down, even though she barely gets out of bed.

the girl i was seeing, asked if she could keep a toothbrush at my house, the day she disappeared. she called me three weeks later, to tell me she had a boyfriend, and that he was moving into my building.

i am seeing someone else. our lives and histories are as full of sadness and razor wire as one another. our glasses are half full, but we are dehydrated and dying of thirst. it is comforting to not feel so alone, even though i am well aware of the fact that no matter how many people we surround ourselves with, we will spend the majority of this journey, completely and exhaustively alone, in our own little worlds, speaking only to ourselves and our ghosts, in languages only we ourselves understand.

i haven't seen mr. pants in months, and have no connection that can tell me how he is, or talk that ridiculous bitch, into letting me see him.

i've been off all my meds for over a month. it is terrible, and a terribly long story.

i'm a week, and $1000+ from being homeless,

i am coated in landmarks, in the form of scars bearing ink.

they are the only things i have left, that no one can take from me without killing me.

i am an unemployed felon, tied to the streets by a disenfranchisement i don't know if i would reconstitute, if i even ever really considered it. bound by the sirens at the tops of these trees, and the bottoms of these bottles, as are the would be customers.

in spite of, and quite possibly as a result of, all of that...

i am.

WOW - Future Ghosts(Tennis Remix)