i'm scared i might become crasy!!!
I must find myself a job quickly, even if that is not what i wanted to be...otherwise i might turn crasy, i 'm so fed up to be alone all the time.
That is so frustrating, i feel i could never have a living from what i like to do and i'm scared i might make jobs making me sick all my live through
I wish i could find a job in which i could find me useful
When i look around me, everyone is usefull in what they are doing.
I am not.
I never felt usefull in anything, certainly not in the mechanic field...
But finding a job in video seems to be pretty complicated, i don't know how long that will take me, but i can't wait no more, i must work!!!
Maybe i could be a waitress for a while...
All my life before, i was so shy that being a waitress or any kind of job in which you have to talk made me feel horribly bad..and i was fired a couple of time, i was so useless...but maybe i evolved now..i must try it again
I must find myself a job quickly, even if that is not what i wanted to be...otherwise i might turn crasy, i 'm so fed up to be alone all the time.
That is so frustrating, i feel i could never have a living from what i like to do and i'm scared i might make jobs making me sick all my live through
I wish i could find a job in which i could find me useful
When i look around me, everyone is usefull in what they are doing.
I am not.
I never felt usefull in anything, certainly not in the mechanic field...
But finding a job in video seems to be pretty complicated, i don't know how long that will take me, but i can't wait no more, i must work!!!
Maybe i could be a waitress for a while...
All my life before, i was so shy that being a waitress or any kind of job in which you have to talk made me feel horribly bad..and i was fired a couple of time, i was so useless...but maybe i evolved now..i must try it again
Does anyone knows how to find a music producer???
my space:
http://myspace.com/lunatik-music
this is only a first try, it is going to evolve, i'm working a 5 track EP.
Tell me what you think, i would be happy to know your advices...do you think it is worth it yet to look for a producer (even if i'm conscious the quality isn't very good) or not yet?
i also edited my website!! now it's completly done!
http://marjorieconrad.com
my space:
http://myspace.com/lunatik-music
this is only a first try, it is going to evolve, i'm working a 5 track EP.
Tell me what you think, i would be happy to know your advices...do you think it is worth it yet to look for a producer (even if i'm conscious the quality isn't very good) or not yet?
i also edited my website!! now it's completly done!
http://marjorieconrad.com
i feel a bit like...well...empty..since some days...
It's like i don't give a fuck about almost everything..
.i don't know if it's a good or a bad thing...
It's not that i feel depressive, i think that now i got over that.
It's not neither that i feel sad or melancolic...i also got over that
i don't think i feel angry neither nor stressed...
In fact i don't give a shit about everything
I keep myself healthy, i eat good, make sport.
I work my music, i keep my objectives in mind.
But i gave up...
I mean, i gave up the world around me, what they can say or think or do doesn't matter to me anymore
So maybe that is not so of a bad feeling to be.
But in a way, that scares me a bit, because if i gave up about everything, i don't know what my motivations are really!
What makes me want to wake me up everymorning....
Before that,
What was making me wanting to wake up in the morning was because i was always fighting against my own.
The dark side of me.
The dark side always scared about everything.
Now i'm not scared anymore.
I always thought, there will be better days, and one day i will succed...this is what was always keeping me alive and wanting to fight.
Now i changed my mind and now i think that maybe i will never suceed, i have to accept it.
But if i accept the fact that i will never succeed then what are my reasons to keep me alive?
Of course i won't give up my music neither all the other things i 'm doing...because i belived that's the only thing in life i feel usefull...
but maybe that will be a useless life ...because if i could never show what i do to the world then that will be totally useless...
We never hear stories about "artists" that decided to devote themselves entirely to their art but they never get any kind of success and so they cutted themselves from the world for nothing...
We only hear stories about artists that succed...
I gave up to have a "normal" life now and i know there won't be any return possible.
It's like i don't give a fuck about almost everything..
.i don't know if it's a good or a bad thing...
It's not that i feel depressive, i think that now i got over that.
It's not neither that i feel sad or melancolic...i also got over that
i don't think i feel angry neither nor stressed...
In fact i don't give a shit about everything
I keep myself healthy, i eat good, make sport.
I work my music, i keep my objectives in mind.
But i gave up...
I mean, i gave up the world around me, what they can say or think or do doesn't matter to me anymore
So maybe that is not so of a bad feeling to be.
But in a way, that scares me a bit, because if i gave up about everything, i don't know what my motivations are really!
What makes me want to wake me up everymorning....
Before that,
What was making me wanting to wake up in the morning was because i was always fighting against my own.
The dark side of me.
The dark side always scared about everything.
Now i'm not scared anymore.
I always thought, there will be better days, and one day i will succed...this is what was always keeping me alive and wanting to fight.
Now i changed my mind and now i think that maybe i will never suceed, i have to accept it.
But if i accept the fact that i will never succeed then what are my reasons to keep me alive?
Of course i won't give up my music neither all the other things i 'm doing...because i belived that's the only thing in life i feel usefull...
but maybe that will be a useless life ...because if i could never show what i do to the world then that will be totally useless...
We never hear stories about "artists" that decided to devote themselves entirely to their art but they never get any kind of success and so they cutted themselves from the world for nothing...
We only hear stories about artists that succed...
I gave up to have a "normal" life now and i know there won't be any return possible.
