Just bought Farscape season 1 on DVD off Amazon. Been itching to watch that show again and see the entire series all the way through. Now if only I could find some older copies of Star Wars on DVD before Lucas ruined it even more with his bullshit "additions", I'll be set.
I have had it. For years I have waited and waited to have the life that others easily take for granted, one I could share with another human being, and yet it's eluded me for more reasons than I can even begin to mention.
After another false excuse for love rears it head and then vanishes, I feel teased once again by whatever force keeps the events of the world in motion. Some of us are damned to walk alone it seems. But like the Wanderer Himself, lonliness has it's place. Perhaps it has it's importance in the overall grand scheme of things. But still, it does not alter the pain.....
Venting is all I have left. That and some of the hardest determination to ever manifest itself in a human being. My future is one of stength. I will get that which I desire, and if it will be not love, than it shall be conquest.....
"....I will revenge my injuries: if I cannot inspire love, I will cause fear; and chiefly towards you my arch-enemy, because my creator, do I swear inextinguishable hatred. Have a care: I will work at your destruction, nor finish until I desolate your heart, so that you shall curse the hour of your birth."
After another false excuse for love rears it head and then vanishes, I feel teased once again by whatever force keeps the events of the world in motion. Some of us are damned to walk alone it seems. But like the Wanderer Himself, lonliness has it's place. Perhaps it has it's importance in the overall grand scheme of things. But still, it does not alter the pain.....
Venting is all I have left. That and some of the hardest determination to ever manifest itself in a human being. My future is one of stength. I will get that which I desire, and if it will be not love, than it shall be conquest.....
"....I will revenge my injuries: if I cannot inspire love, I will cause fear; and chiefly towards you my arch-enemy, because my creator, do I swear inextinguishable hatred. Have a care: I will work at your destruction, nor finish until I desolate your heart, so that you shall curse the hour of your birth."
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/heart-stopping-letter-newtown-shooting-victim-jack-pinto-191902176.html
Alright, I may listen to Black Metal and seem all aloof and too-cool-too-care, but this simply made me tear up. I swear, I wish people could knock their stupid bullshit off and just quit with the aggression and murderous rage for once. Everywhere I go these days, I see self-serving assholes who don't care one bit for how they treat their fellow man. People are lacking manners, lacking humility, and just lacking enough decency to be kind to others. It's not easy, I'll admit, but fucking stop with the hate and the rationalization for why you want to be a dipshit to other people.
And I really don't give a fuck if anyone thinks I'm a pussy for shedding a fucking tear over this.
Alright, I may listen to Black Metal and seem all aloof and too-cool-too-care, but this simply made me tear up. I swear, I wish people could knock their stupid bullshit off and just quit with the aggression and murderous rage for once. Everywhere I go these days, I see self-serving assholes who don't care one bit for how they treat their fellow man. People are lacking manners, lacking humility, and just lacking enough decency to be kind to others. It's not easy, I'll admit, but fucking stop with the hate and the rationalization for why you want to be a dipshit to other people.
And I really don't give a fuck if anyone thinks I'm a pussy for shedding a fucking tear over this.
So where in the name of Almighty Science do people congregate these days? I feel like an Alien, freshly chest-bursted and confused as hell as to what human creatures do for fun anymore. No concerts, no movies, heck even a lot of the online chat/forums are deader than when I was a lad.
And I realized that I am not 'with it' when people were talking about iPads and tablets and I had to google to find out exactly what those were. That, along with my memory lapses and desire to collect vinyl, makes me an old man. Now it's only a matter of time before I get to yell at kids to get off my lawn, though kids around here are all packing 45s, and I'm not just talking about booze this time.
And I realized that I am not 'with it' when people were talking about iPads and tablets and I had to google to find out exactly what those were. That, along with my memory lapses and desire to collect vinyl, makes me an old man. Now it's only a matter of time before I get to yell at kids to get off my lawn, though kids around here are all packing 45s, and I'm not just talking about booze this time.
So not sure if anyone will read this thing, but after months of being away from the site, I've decided to come back. Things have picked up since I was last here: got a new (and so far much better) job as a service advisor for a multinational distributor, got myself a super badass Jeep Grand Cherokee (V8 engine crushing ALL!!!!), went on a date or two here and there, and bought a newer, slightly more updated phone. Free talk, text, and web on this one, though it's still outdated compared to the phones most Normal Human Creatures have which cook dinner, cure diarrhea, and whatever the hell else it is the things do these days.
If ya'll out there read this thingee, c'mon and talk to me all ya want! Free muffins to all who do!
If ya'll out there read this thingee, c'mon and talk to me all ya want! Free muffins to all who do!
So my pen name is decided....well, truthfully, it has been for some time now, but I changed my Facebook name to it. J.N. Valentine is the pen name, with J for Jericho and N for Nicolas. Jericho is a name I love because of the infamous Jericho covered bridge in a very small, wonderfully haunting little town called Franklinville that is not even 10 minutes from my house. Nicolas was to be my real name, but my Dad hated it and I ended up getting stuck with Christopher (Nicolas is sort of a nod to my parents, despite my problems with them). And Valentine is a bit more complicated. I was thinking of cool sounding western gunslinger names and always thought Doc Holiday was a badass name. I thought it'd be nice to use a holiday name for the surname, but the obvious ones (J.N. Halloween, J.N. Easter, J.N. Presidents Day 
) just didn't work. Oddly enough, despite my hatred of Valentines day, the name fit. So there you have it.
Anybody who doesn't like it: TS.
PS: Zysahn is my 'true name' in my mind. I don't think of myself as J.N. Valentine or Christopher Lowman, only as Zysahn. It's a name that I made up myself and ended up being my Pagan/Craft name also. Long story behind that one as well, but I won't get into it now because I am anxious to play WoW at the moment, lol.
) just didn't work. Oddly enough, despite my hatred of Valentines day, the name fit. So there you have it.Anybody who doesn't like it: TS.
PS: Zysahn is my 'true name' in my mind. I don't think of myself as J.N. Valentine or Christopher Lowman, only as Zysahn. It's a name that I made up myself and ended up being my Pagan/Craft name also. Long story behind that one as well, but I won't get into it now because I am anxious to play WoW at the moment, lol.
I want to get new pictures of myself, but I CANNOT find the damned adapter for my camera, and my dinosaur cell phone doesn't have the option of putting pics on the net apparently. Grrr, such a damn mess in here.....
Not that I am surprised, but it seems I am finally getting recognized for my writing talent. I got a big ego boost earlier from one of my professors, and one of my other ones, who seems to be very strict on grading, actually gave me one of the highest grades in the class.
Of course I must temper this before it blows my ego out of proportion and I become one of those douchey meticulous weirdos you see on the internet blogging sites. I totally don't wanna end up like that, lol.
In other delicious/nutritious news, I am job hunting again since the current one is bullshit and barely worth my time. Ain't gonna quit until I get something better, of course, but being bossed around by people who say one thing but mean another is pretty damn irritating.
Here's a monkey!
Of course I must temper this before it blows my ego out of proportion and I become one of those douchey meticulous weirdos you see on the internet blogging sites. I totally don't wanna end up like that, lol.
In other delicious/nutritious news, I am job hunting again since the current one is bullshit and barely worth my time. Ain't gonna quit until I get something better, of course, but being bossed around by people who say one thing but mean another is pretty damn irritating.
Here's a monkey!
So about 8 years ago I "used to be" Goth. Of course internally I haven't changed much since then, but I do hate drawing attention to myself for appearance. That doesn't mean I will 'conform' as it is still not cool to be an introverted male with long hair who looks like a biker/Metal guy. But when you have an entire gang of people who want to beat you up because of some pencil around your eye, shit gets annoying. Plus I enjoy being a manly man now, though I still have to moisturize (bad skin and all that).
These two pictures are some of the only ones left from that 'era'.
These two pictures are some of the only ones left from that 'era'.
Odd, I turn 31 today yet I feel better overall than I ever have. Aside from my slightly high blood pressure (most likely brought on by my scant sleep schedule and lack of food these past few days, plus the anxiety of school and stuff), I feel better and more in shape than I did when I was 21.
Some interesting stuff has happened since I last made a blog post here:
-Met a sweet and exceptionally bright young girl named Ali at school and we connect well, though there is an age gap between us that may complicate issues. I'd love to seduce her into a hot love affair, but I'd settle for a solid and lasting friendship.
-Speaking of school, the library there actually has a great section on Paganism. I checked out the book 'The Death of Classical Paganism' by John Holland Smith and plan on reading it over the course of my spring break.
-Started writing the novel that I had in mind ever since Katia left me stranded. It's basically the story of my trip to Italy and the events which shook my life to the core, only told through the metaphorical lense of Argyle Blackwood, a man trying in vain to run away from his horrible prophetic fate in a vaguely Celtic world ruled by a vampire lord. Of course I call them 'Vroloks' in my story, which is an old Slavic term for vampire which just looks and sounds fucking awesome.
-Submitted a short story of mine to a magazine called 'Niteblade'. Haven't heard back yet either way, but here's hoping for the best!
I'm gonna have to get new pictures of me since I have shaved the goatee off and also since most of the other pictures are 6 years old. I haven't really changed very much though, if at all. Maybe I am a Vrolok myself!
Some interesting stuff has happened since I last made a blog post here:
-Met a sweet and exceptionally bright young girl named Ali at school and we connect well, though there is an age gap between us that may complicate issues. I'd love to seduce her into a hot love affair, but I'd settle for a solid and lasting friendship.
-Speaking of school, the library there actually has a great section on Paganism. I checked out the book 'The Death of Classical Paganism' by John Holland Smith and plan on reading it over the course of my spring break.
-Started writing the novel that I had in mind ever since Katia left me stranded. It's basically the story of my trip to Italy and the events which shook my life to the core, only told through the metaphorical lense of Argyle Blackwood, a man trying in vain to run away from his horrible prophetic fate in a vaguely Celtic world ruled by a vampire lord. Of course I call them 'Vroloks' in my story, which is an old Slavic term for vampire which just looks and sounds fucking awesome.
-Submitted a short story of mine to a magazine called 'Niteblade'. Haven't heard back yet either way, but here's hoping for the best!
I'm gonna have to get new pictures of me since I have shaved the goatee off and also since most of the other pictures are 6 years old. I haven't really changed very much though, if at all. Maybe I am a Vrolok myself!
