All I gotta say is:
this
and this
Big update due.
Big update stalled.
Big boys Pull-ups are surprisingly quite comfortable.
New shirt:
Going back to bed
Eye<3ewe,
Scotty
PS -
this
and this
Big update due.
Big update stalled.
Big boys Pull-ups are surprisingly quite comfortable.
New shirt:
Going back to bed
Eye<3ewe,
Scotty
PS -
STARWARSSUNDAYS!! STARWARSSUNDAYS!! STARWARSSUNDAYS!!
Yes, that's right folks, back in full FORCE (getit?) for the time being.
Let's delve right in, shall we?
I mean, blast right the fuck off even:
I direct you now to a poignant love story not shared as often as one would think.
I speak of the Sarlacc Pit.
The what?
The Sarlacc Pit, duh.
Unrequited love, I might add.
Since we've discussed love, I am now going to offer practical advice:
Now on to sangria.
I totally made my first batch of it last night.
Am I feeling it this morning? A little.
Am I okay with that? A lot.
Because it was delish!
Kell and I on the way to pick up the sangr-idients.
The culmination:
Me apparently doing a tard dance while prepping the drinks:
And the actual text shared between brothers as I made it:
Which leads to an honestly confusing question:
"More Star Wars", you say? Well, don't go number two, Number One, and stop telling me what to do:
Femaleprayingmantistroopa!
Padme? Hell yes I can:
After all that sangria I was pretty ready to help the troopers look for droids, if you know what I'm saying?
I need these:
And this:
Okay, I need coffee. And more sangria. But mostly coffee.
Mid-week update coming with some pretty low-key but relevant happenings. Stay tuned and stay ... not dead? Does that even work? Guess it'll have to.
Eye<3ewe,
Scotty
PS -
Yes, that's right folks, back in full FORCE (getit?) for the time being.
Let's delve right in, shall we?
I mean, blast right the fuck off even:
I direct you now to a poignant love story not shared as often as one would think.
I speak of the Sarlacc Pit.
The what?
The Sarlacc Pit, duh.
Unrequited love, I might add.
Since we've discussed love, I am now going to offer practical advice:
Now on to sangria.
I totally made my first batch of it last night.
Am I feeling it this morning? A little.
Am I okay with that? A lot.
Because it was delish!
Kell and I on the way to pick up the sangr-idients.
The culmination:
Me apparently doing a tard dance while prepping the drinks:
And the actual text shared between brothers as I made it:
Which leads to an honestly confusing question:
"More Star Wars", you say? Well, don't go number two, Number One, and stop telling me what to do:
Femaleprayingmantistroopa!
Padme? Hell yes I can:
After all that sangria I was pretty ready to help the troopers look for droids, if you know what I'm saying?
I need these:
And this:
Okay, I need coffee. And more sangria. But mostly coffee.
Mid-week update coming with some pretty low-key but relevant happenings. Stay tuned and stay ... not dead? Does that even work? Guess it'll have to.
Eye<3ewe,
Scotty
PS -
I keep meaning to offer up a huge update.
I keep meaning to sit down and try to culminate all the activity bouncing around in the brain.
I keep meaning to stop, drop and roll.
But I don't.
Things will slow down this weekend and, maybe then, I'll be able to provide something of substance as opposed to the silly purging of nonsensical blather that I've been offering here lately.
Wait.
What was that?
You PREFER my silly blather?
You're NOT just yanking my chain in an attempt to see me rise to a blather lather?!
Aww, shuck gummi-tits, you DO love me for me!!
What?
Yes, "Gummi-tits".
I thought you said you LIKED that nickname?
Oh. You would, and I quote, "Rather be punched in the colon eleven times and then have your armpits set on fire by a slavering retarded pregnant rhinoceros!"?
Personally, I think it's wiser to allow a pregnant female rhinoceros to slaver all she damn well wants as opposed to belittling her with criticism as she is hormonal by the way, but to each their own.
I kNOW I forgot to post on Easter. I know I forgot to offer up Star Wars Sundays. I KNOW I have the testicles of an eleven year old Nubian princess.
Allow me to make up for it?
Ready?
GO!!!
WHAM! Nailed that ugly bitch right out of the ballpark, didn't I? That's a load off of my mind. You don't know how hard it was realizing I'd left you all hanging on Star Wars Sunday AND Giant Stupidly Dyed Egg Day!
Speaking of ridiculous holidays:
Why isn't there a National Elder Gods Day? We have every other damn "national day" in the US.
National Raisin Day. National Take Your Offspring To Work Day. National Have Your Cake and Shove It In Your Neighbors Rectum Too Day.
Why NOT a National Elder Gods Day?
I'm going to need someone else to take this burden upon their well-chiseled shoulders and make it happen.
I nominate St Cyr.
Get on it, friend.
Sidebar, Your Honor. I propose (see how I threw that double lawyer humor in there for you, barrister?) there should be some sort of basic rules to this National Elder Gods Day, though. I propose these:
Also completely unrelated, I've been playing a ton of this:
To be fair, I just finished playing Mass Effect 2 so that all would carry over to Mass Effect 3.
I had my character romance her:
Tali. She's geeky and sweet and .. wait, I'm totally gushing about a video game character.
But she IS all of that.
I originally had my character romance Jack:
Let's face it, Jack's cooler and tougher but she doesn't ramble on in a geeky manner and, for some odd reason, I found that appealing.
Apologies for rambling on in a geeky manner.
I need food.
I need coffee.
I need to get going.
I need a brown coat.
Mm-hmm.
Eye<3ewe,
Scotty
PS -
I keep meaning to sit down and try to culminate all the activity bouncing around in the brain.
I keep meaning to stop, drop and roll.
But I don't.
Things will slow down this weekend and, maybe then, I'll be able to provide something of substance as opposed to the silly purging of nonsensical blather that I've been offering here lately.
Wait.
What was that?
You PREFER my silly blather?
You're NOT just yanking my chain in an attempt to see me rise to a blather lather?!
Aww, shuck gummi-tits, you DO love me for me!!
What?
Yes, "Gummi-tits".
I thought you said you LIKED that nickname?
Oh. You would, and I quote, "Rather be punched in the colon eleven times and then have your armpits set on fire by a slavering retarded pregnant rhinoceros!"?
Personally, I think it's wiser to allow a pregnant female rhinoceros to slaver all she damn well wants as opposed to belittling her with criticism as she is hormonal by the way, but to each their own.
I kNOW I forgot to post on Easter. I know I forgot to offer up Star Wars Sundays. I KNOW I have the testicles of an eleven year old Nubian princess.
Allow me to make up for it?
Ready?
GO!!!
WHAM! Nailed that ugly bitch right out of the ballpark, didn't I? That's a load off of my mind. You don't know how hard it was realizing I'd left you all hanging on Star Wars Sunday AND Giant Stupidly Dyed Egg Day!
Speaking of ridiculous holidays:
Why isn't there a National Elder Gods Day? We have every other damn "national day" in the US.
National Raisin Day. National Take Your Offspring To Work Day. National Have Your Cake and Shove It In Your Neighbors Rectum Too Day.
Why NOT a National Elder Gods Day?
I'm going to need someone else to take this burden upon their well-chiseled shoulders and make it happen.
I nominate St Cyr.
Get on it, friend.
Sidebar, Your Honor. I propose (see how I threw that double lawyer humor in there for you, barrister?) there should be some sort of basic rules to this National Elder Gods Day, though. I propose these:
Also completely unrelated, I've been playing a ton of this:
To be fair, I just finished playing Mass Effect 2 so that all would carry over to Mass Effect 3.
I had my character romance her:
Tali. She's geeky and sweet and .. wait, I'm totally gushing about a video game character.
But she IS all of that.
I originally had my character romance Jack:
Let's face it, Jack's cooler and tougher but she doesn't ramble on in a geeky manner and, for some odd reason, I found that appealing.
Apologies for rambling on in a geeky manner.
I need food.
I need coffee.
I need to get going.
I need a brown coat.
Mm-hmm.
Eye<3ewe,
Scotty
PS -
I really don't have anything else to say regarding the dalek-influenced skin care statement above but for some reason it made me giggle so you're welcome.
I am home. My three day whirlwind trip back to Tampa, Florida was filled with copious amounts of liquor-serving, liquor-consuming, laughter, loving friendship, camaraderie, the animated Hobbit, good pizza, bad pizza, renaissance a-festin' and the end to the 2012 Florida Faire season that is always a bittersweet experience.
Oddly enough, I didn't take many pictures.
But I WILL share with you what I have.
Ready for Dump Time?
No, not that Dump Time! Photo Tump time!
After that dump I'm pretty exhausted so I need a break.
And a beer.
Break Beers, please.
Off to go dance naked on a tree limb with a chilly beer balanced perilously between my ...
Eye<3ewe,
Scotty
PS -
It's Wednesday; half way mark of the week. I realize that some of you might need a type of resuscitation to make it the rest of the way through and since I'm the providing sort, allow me to provide you with current resuscitation guidelines:
I think I've done a lot already this morning, especially with providing you the guidelines as to how to save a life and re-harden nipples, so the rest of this post is going to be nonsense.
Dog nonsense.
On that note, I return to Florida his weekend to close out the Bay Area Renaissance Festival. My last bartending gig for a while. It's bittersweet and will make me miss Florida more than I should but it's worth it to make the trip.
Financially lucrative too; I can finally buy that yacht I've always wanted.
While we're daydreaming about naked time with a half-Asian, half octopod sex slave, lets also dream about my new digs:
Alright time, to go brush teef:
shower:
and go enjoy the day:
Eye<3ewe,
Scotty
PS -
I think I've done a lot already this morning, especially with providing you the guidelines as to how to save a life and re-harden nipples, so the rest of this post is going to be nonsense.
Dog nonsense.
On that note, I return to Florida his weekend to close out the Bay Area Renaissance Festival. My last bartending gig for a while. It's bittersweet and will make me miss Florida more than I should but it's worth it to make the trip.
Financially lucrative too; I can finally buy that yacht I've always wanted.
While we're daydreaming about naked time with a half-Asian, half octopod sex slave, lets also dream about my new digs:
Alright time, to go brush teef:
shower:
and go enjoy the day:
Eye<3ewe,
Scotty
PS -
Holy shit ...
With all that's been going on at the abode I never offered a Star Wars Sunday last week!
Well, friends, allow me to remedy that in quick fashion!
There!
No, wait, that's not right. Hold on, adjusting data stream ... taaaake THIS!
Goddamnit, my Nerd Button is discombobulated!
One more time ... allakazam!
Whew, that's better!
See there, boys and girls? Proof that if you don't practice, practice, practice, you'll forget how to do something! Like poop!
Always practice because, really, can you imagine forgetting how to do this? You'd turn violet, Violet, and then you'd explode.
Speaking of Jabba the Huts:
Can we have a poignant moment of self-reflection, please?
Excellent, moving on:
Teachers are for learning lessons. Subjects of study, experiences to be used used daily, knowledge to reflect back upon:
You see what I'm saying here, people? Do you even GET what I'm focusing on here?
Support your local teachers!
I have a date with a dog, a pizza and a beer. In that order. It's classy, I know classy. See?
This is dog at work, by the way:
And this is Star Wars in the eye of a needle. These topics do not contain a single element of similarity, except that they're simply just plain awesome:
Eye<3ewe,
Scotty
PS -
With all that's been going on at the abode I never offered a Star Wars Sunday last week!
Well, friends, allow me to remedy that in quick fashion!
There!No, wait, that's not right. Hold on, adjusting data stream ... taaaake THIS!
Goddamnit, my Nerd Button is discombobulated!
One more time ... allakazam!
Whew, that's better!
See there, boys and girls? Proof that if you don't practice, practice, practice, you'll forget how to do something! Like poop!
Always practice because, really, can you imagine forgetting how to do this? You'd turn violet, Violet, and then you'd explode.
Speaking of Jabba the Huts:
Can we have a poignant moment of self-reflection, please?
Excellent, moving on:
Teachers are for learning lessons. Subjects of study, experiences to be used used daily, knowledge to reflect back upon:
You see what I'm saying here, people? Do you even GET what I'm focusing on here?
Support your local teachers!
I have a date with a dog, a pizza and a beer. In that order. It's classy, I know classy. See?
This is dog at work, by the way:
And this is Star Wars in the eye of a needle. These topics do not contain a single element of similarity, except that they're simply just plain awesome:
Eye<3ewe,
Scotty
PS -
Please understand I hate both of above people equally, I just found the comic delivery amusing.
These are the plans for my weekend, in no particular order, fashion or importance. Ready? GO!!
I kind of got a start on that sleep thing, though:
I have a new man-crush. That's right, a bro-mance. It's with Anthony Mangieri, owner and operator of Una Pizza Napoletana in San Fran.
Who?
This dude:
He's this purist fella, originally from Jersey, who started a bakery there after a trip to Italy to learn about his family heritage. Upon return he opened a bakery. He later decided to open a pizzeria in Brooklyn, NY and commuted and hour every day from NJ for the first two years and slept in a rest stop on the way home. Kinda bold move in my book, overall, "Hey, let's move to a place where people are total assholes about their pizza and then just make MY kind of pizza."
But he did.
And he flourished.
So much so that he sold the business in New York and relocated to San Francisco to open a new pizzeria.
Now, I hate California with the power of three fiery suns (one's a dwarf star, actually) but I do have a soft spot in my heart for San Francisco, so it's quite possible that this bro-mance could work.
Plus I love pizza.
Mad love.
Like, love-so-much-I'd-marry-it-and-consummate-with-it-right-in-front-of-its-mother love.
Oh, did I mention the dudes an avid mountain biker, and a singlespeed mountain biker at that?
That's the purist thing I appreciate so much.
Dude only rides singlespeeds.
So good.
He makes about 500 pizzas a week, so about 2,000 in a month. By himself. On purpose. That we they are literally his creations. He makes them in a beehive-shaped Stefano Ferrara oven with "A.D. 2010” on the side, made in Naples. Made in Naples, I said.
All the dough is naturally leavened.
He only offers five different choices:
Marinara: San Marzano tomatoes, oregano, garlic, basil, sea salt, extra-virgin olive oil and no cheese
Margherita: San Marzano tomatoes, buffalo mozzarella from Naples, extra-virgin olive oil, basil, sea salt
Bianca: buffalo mozzarella, extra-virgin olive oil, garlic, basil, sea salt; no tomatoes, just white
Filetti: fresh cherry tomatoes, buffalo mozzarella, garlic, extra-virgin olive oil, basil, sea salt, fresh tomatoes, no sauce
and, last but definitely not least
Ilaria, named after his wife: smoked mozzarella, fresh cherry tomatoes, arugula, extra-virgin olive oil, sea salt, fresh tomatoes, no sauce.
Mangieri only works Wednesday through Saturday, 5pm until the dough runs out.
He works by himself, baking three pies at a time.
"I don’t want to sound like a jerk, but everything I do is for my satisfaction only, not others.”
And, goddamnit, that's the way it should be.
You can bet your sweet ass I'm making a pilgrimage to San Francisco in the near future, THAT'S how much I love pizza.
Okay, here's what you come here for; the stupidity:
and, so true
Off to work!
Eye<3ewe,
Scotty
PS -
It was as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly sil ... no, wait, as if they were suddenly very, very whiny.
I know, I know -- "Scotty, where the fuck are Star Wars Sundays?! Have you forgotten about us?!"
And to this I say, "Nay. Nay good bretheren, I have not. It pains me that you think so lowly of my love for you all."
I just have a pup that requires a whole bunch of love and affection, see, so we've been road-trippin' all over St Louis together, strengthening our boy-and-his-dog vibe. Plus pups been teaching me how to pick up poop. I'd say I'm still pretty much a Poop Padawan but I ass-pire to Poop Jedi one day. Lofty goals, yes this I realize, but I was taught to aim high.
Need a lesson?
Okay, now pay attention:
Padawan:
Jedi Master:
See?
Life had been a roller coaster lately, I'm not going to fib. Job issues, sick loved ones, new family members, new bicycles, new groceries, cat litter boxes, year-old leftovers found in the fridge; my life is in the mega fast lane and I don't want it to stop.
Or, actually, lifes been pretty mundane so it provides me lackage in the the way of substance-age to write about. And honestly? I'm pretty cool with that; mundane life kind of appeals to me right [write?] now and, on the positive side, some of my best writing stems from nothing and by "nothing" I mean "all that time as a child chained to the water heater in the basement with nothing but a Saltine, singular, and a third of a can of warm Fresca".
Mmmmm, supper.
What's that? "Talk about Kelly more, fuckface!" you say? Well, how can I say no to a plea so heartfelt?
Kell now understands, "Sit", "off", "no" and 'PLEASESTOPLICKINGME!!!!!!!!!" I'd like to think that I did all of this but, well, I did.
The fact that he dog is wicked smart does not come in to play here. It's my sheer alpha-ness. I hate to brag but I'm awesome. Picture of she and I chilling on a grassy hilltop watching the sunrise? Check:
Fine, fine, more Star Wars. Two of the best things ever: Star Wars and Legos. These two words define my childhood like no other two words could (until I turn 13 and then it would become "Cinemax" and "masturbation".
So, I totally rebuilt one of my roadbikes to take Kell for a run with. Through late-night caffeine and alcohol-laden eBay searches and local cycling forums I found the parts I needed to get my old steed relegated from garage hook to fitness lifestyle pretty quickly. I've been researching the Katy Trail which is 280 miles of old railroad bed turned into trails to ride you bike throughtout the midwest on. Much of it parallels the routes take by Louis and CLark.
There are also a multitude of winerys and breweries along the way that are bike-friendly, yet this plays ZERO decision in my new-sprung interest of these trails.
ZERO.
Wait, put a 1 and a 0 in front of that lonely little zero, por favor.
Gracias.
If you don't get the above picture, smack yourself in the neck with a filing cabinet, por favor.
Gracias.
More Legos? H to the E to the double L yes!
Okay, I need to haul ass -- work beckons and I am but a obedient cog in their ever-annoying machine.
Eye<3ewe,
Scotty
PS -
I know, I know -- "Scotty, where the fuck are Star Wars Sundays?! Have you forgotten about us?!"
And to this I say, "Nay. Nay good bretheren, I have not. It pains me that you think so lowly of my love for you all."
I just have a pup that requires a whole bunch of love and affection, see, so we've been road-trippin' all over St Louis together, strengthening our boy-and-his-dog vibe. Plus pups been teaching me how to pick up poop. I'd say I'm still pretty much a Poop Padawan but I ass-pire to Poop Jedi one day. Lofty goals, yes this I realize, but I was taught to aim high.
Need a lesson?
Okay, now pay attention:
Padawan:
Jedi Master:
See?Life had been a roller coaster lately, I'm not going to fib. Job issues, sick loved ones, new family members, new bicycles, new groceries, cat litter boxes, year-old leftovers found in the fridge; my life is in the mega fast lane and I don't want it to stop.
Or, actually, lifes been pretty mundane so it provides me lackage in the the way of substance-age to write about. And honestly? I'm pretty cool with that; mundane life kind of appeals to me right [write?] now and, on the positive side, some of my best writing stems from nothing and by "nothing" I mean "all that time as a child chained to the water heater in the basement with nothing but a Saltine, singular, and a third of a can of warm Fresca".
Mmmmm, supper.
What's that? "Talk about Kelly more, fuckface!" you say? Well, how can I say no to a plea so heartfelt?
Kell now understands, "Sit", "off", "no" and 'PLEASESTOPLICKINGME!!!!!!!!!" I'd like to think that I did all of this but, well, I did.
The fact that he dog is wicked smart does not come in to play here. It's my sheer alpha-ness. I hate to brag but I'm awesome. Picture of she and I chilling on a grassy hilltop watching the sunrise? Check:
Fine, fine, more Star Wars. Two of the best things ever: Star Wars and Legos. These two words define my childhood like no other two words could (until I turn 13 and then it would become "Cinemax" and "masturbation".
So, I totally rebuilt one of my roadbikes to take Kell for a run with. Through late-night caffeine and alcohol-laden eBay searches and local cycling forums I found the parts I needed to get my old steed relegated from garage hook to fitness lifestyle pretty quickly. I've been researching the Katy Trail which is 280 miles of old railroad bed turned into trails to ride you bike throughtout the midwest on. Much of it parallels the routes take by Louis and CLark.
There are also a multitude of winerys and breweries along the way that are bike-friendly, yet this plays ZERO decision in my new-sprung interest of these trails.
ZERO.
Wait, put a 1 and a 0 in front of that lonely little zero, por favor.
Gracias.
If you don't get the above picture, smack yourself in the neck with a filing cabinet, por favor.
Gracias.
More Legos? H to the E to the double L yes!
Okay, I need to haul ass -- work beckons and I am but a obedient cog in their ever-annoying machine.
Eye<3ewe, Scotty
PS -
ATTENTION!
Puppies!
I know, right?
Even Max was like:
I realize there is absolutely zero depth to this blog but I think it's always good to step outside the box and look at life in a less serious manner.
3 ...
2 ...
1 ...
"But Scotty, when do you EVER look at life in a serious manner?!"
Shut up Miss Arbuckle, just because you were my kindergarten teacher doesn't mean you know everything about me. I've grown. I've changed. I'm a man now!
Apologies, kindergarten-teacher-crush flashback. That's embarrassing. Here, let me rid you of an miniature Scotty images by imprinting this image on your soon to be damaged psyches:
How the mighty [whores!] have fallen. It's a sad day in Celluloid Town.
And now for a public service announcement:
I have to go to work. Love me for my ambition? Oh, screw it, you can love me for my narrow ass too -- I'm a giver, see?
Eye<3ewe,
Scotty
PS - Clintadillo
That sounds naughty. You're welcome.
Puppies!
I know, right?
Even Max was like:
I realize there is absolutely zero depth to this blog but I think it's always good to step outside the box and look at life in a less serious manner.
3 ...
2 ...
1 ...
"But Scotty, when do you EVER look at life in a serious manner?!"
Shut up Miss Arbuckle, just because you were my kindergarten teacher doesn't mean you know everything about me. I've grown. I've changed. I'm a man now!
Apologies, kindergarten-teacher-crush flashback. That's embarrassing. Here, let me rid you of an miniature Scotty images by imprinting this image on your soon to be damaged psyches:
How the mighty [whores!] have fallen. It's a sad day in Celluloid Town.
And now for a public service announcement:
I have to go to work. Love me for my ambition? Oh, screw it, you can love me for my narrow ass too -- I'm a giver, see?
Eye<3ewe,
Scotty
PS - Clintadillo
That sounds naughty. You're welcome.
We interrupt the regularly scheduled Star Wars Sunday to bring you this very important announcement:
Now don't get me wrong, Star Wars is wicked important to me and basically the glue that binds the universe together but ... well, I have a dog. I've never had one before.
This is Kelly.
She's an Australian Shepard.
Basically, she has a wonky accent and herds farm animals for fun, which makes her more interesting than 95% of my previous girlfriends.
She's a year old and a stray. I don't know who lost her but I feel sorry for them because she is now mine.
She rides shotgun like a champ, jumps right up into the passenger seat. She's already been with me to pick up beer, pick up a cake, pick up a new shower head (nonmasturbatorypurposesthankyou) and any other chore, or "chore", I can think up. I'll make shit up just to drive around with her.
Shes's somewhat possessive about the radio station but I'm cool with that as all I have to do is open up the window and her Pavlovian response is to instantly stick her head right out the window and, BAM, I change the channel to something I like.
"Damn you, predispositioned genetic response!" she immediately howls.
We then laugh and share a beer.
She steers while I provide the gas, of course.
To propel the vehicle, that is.
This isn't a fart joke.
How mature would that be?
Retard.
Star Wars?
Okay, fine, non-animal-appreciators.
Australian cattle dog? FINE.
I've always wanted an Australian Cattle Dog or an Australian Shepard because I fell in love with Mad Max's dog from The Road Warrior:
Now Max's dog is a cattle dog or a dingo hybrid and not a shepard but I love 'em both and the merle patterns slaaaaaay me. Are they THAt similar? Nope, cattle dogs are short-haired and look more like a red or blue heelers but I adore them both so here is an Australian Shepard:
And here is a picture of my Aussie, Kelly:
I'm now going right back to what the above picture entails and will provide more Star Wars when I can dig myself out from underneath the 40-pounds of furry love that smothers me on an all too regular basis as of late.
Eye<3ewe(Kelly),
Scotty
PS -
