Well I'm still financially still in the same spot. But, I am feeling a little better. My bipolar disorder is a little out of whack and I probably should start taking my meds again. That might help. I can't see my therapist because I can't afford that.... isn't that stupid. You need help you want help but you can't get it because you can't pay for it.
In a turn for the good I will finally get to meet and spend time with Zebrah so excited. I've been wanting to meet her for the longest already. Also, Misa_Blake is coming back to NYC for a few days so she and I will get to hang for a bit then.
Finally I am going to a concert with Infinity So excited on that one too. I actually love Sugar Ray and Everclear.... so can't wait....The next 2 weeks should hopefully turn my frown upside down...That's right I was cheesy for a minute.
I have some hopefully good news within the next month.... I don't want to say anything on SG just yet as of not to jinx myself.....If it happens I will let everyone know

I forgot to post my pics from 4th of July bad me

I'm having a very low day. I am trying to stay up and chipper.... but I just keep getting chipped away. I keep finding a fix for the situation at hand. I think I'll be fine. Then I get smacked with something else. I have a job I make somewhat ok money, but because I'm trying to handle too much again, I.m over whelmed. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix. I can't handle the mess I'm in.

I'm trying to just go out and have fun so I can not dwell on my problems and I can't, cause if I go by myself I'm just stewing in my own mess.

Rant over....

In I guess good news.... My mom and dad got married and my mom recently retired. So my dad got my mom a retirement gift.

This is me and my new brother Montezuma he's 8 weeks old and a terror

I've been really low on funds lately... Gotta figure out a way to make extra $$$ I'm debating on getting a temporary part time job... Just till money gets better. Or selling stuff... Or maybe selling my ass... I'm sure I can make good money from that too. Besides that I'm trying to have fun... Find people to hang with. I wanna hit the beach.... But no one to go with... Gonna have to go myself. (pity) I want to hang with more people from SG, maybe they have ideas on cheap stuff to do?!?! If you wanna hang hit me up please!

Okies so I am kinda bored... My bestie/sister/confidant has moved away and it sux we are not together to help each other....but she has to move on and so do I but still sux....
So on the saga that is my diploma....my professor came back from India and put my grade in (A of course) so my graduating GPA is a 3.9. But, because I did not know that I had an incomplete until now and it wasn't fixed until now I technically didn't graduate. So I will not get a diploma until now AUGUST 30, 2012!!!!!! I'm soooo fucking pissed right now.

Other news my mother and father got married.... Ok so my mom and dad got separated when I was 4 divorced when I was 8 my dad remarried they divorced and they got back together in about 2006 and on June 7, 2012 they got re-married..... On June 14th 2012 my mom retired from NYC Bd. of Ed so huge party. Was tons of fun....



and of course now I got an Iphone 4S with Siri....I make that bitch call me Master!!!! So I'm having fun with my cam.... just whoring now...lol

I'm also looking for a house.....In Pennsylvania... looking at these houses on like serial killer lane last house on the left type places.... hmmmm maybe not!!!
Finally home after driving and looking at houses I'm tired.

Misa_Blake has moved today she has been my Roomie & sister for the past 6 years. She was there when my heart was broken my car was crashed and I didn't think I would ever smile again. She and I had tons of plans that we were supposed to do from now till November and now all those plans were killed. I'm sad & scared! I hope she gets there safe, granted she's hitting me up in every state. But still worried we've taken care of each other for a while and now we are separated... I know she'll do great in North Carolina. And I'll be there in August to visit her.

I kind of wish I could say this!!!!





Instead it's always like this lately



Can't remember to forget:



Maybe it's time to do this



Trust Me:


And Just so that you know!!!!



And if you went through each one of those!!!!

And just because It want's to piss me off the links for youtube are not coming up as videos!!!!! FUCK!!!! Cause my day was sooo good

Just because I smile almost all the time or I act like a robot does not mean I have emotions. Just shows I know who and when to actually show them. I'm tired of people hurting my feelings then saying they feel the same way I do: o really you feel the same way I do you just had someone belittle you and call you a liar to your face. I got enough shit going wrong in my life to add more fucked up shit. Between the shit with my school, the people at work, the fact I can't find a better job, my brother treating his kids like shit so I have to pick up the pieces. Probably trying to get custody of my niece because both mom & dad are morons. I think I got a lot on my plate. I can't handle fake people, I can't deal with people who try to fucking hard, Im not having people who think they know who I am or what my life is like trying to give me advice or tell me I'm fucked up. Can't deal with a lot right now, if your not trying to be my friend, if you don't care, DEUCES BITCHES!!!! FUCK YOU FUCK YO COUCH & FUCK OFF!!!

Those who care and know me or want to know me may stay love you all.

WANTED!!!!!


Boy/Girl friend with no drama. Into KINKY fuckery, biting, light bondage, heavy petting. Are you into turn around is fair play??? Half way decent at sexting creative imagery a must. Supportive of goals to become PINK! KNOW cars! Adventurous the ability to hold a half way decent conversation! Know more than monosyllabic words. Tattoos & piercings a total plus. Need to be allowed in NYC Clubs. Interested PM me!

Ok so those who have been following my blog know that I indeed did graduate in August of 2011 with my masters degree. Unfortunately my job was supposed to pay my last semester and decided that they were going to lose my paper work. So my dad finally was able to say here's the $2600 you need to get your diploma. Yay! I take the money to school and ask for my diploma and I'm told I never graduated because I have an incomplete. WTF!!!!! Why not send me a letter about this. So I figure out what class I figure out why they say I have an incomplete. I have all the e-mail (cause I'm paranoid) proving I did exactly as was asked. My professor never turned in the grade. Can be fixed!!! Except she's in FUCKING INDIA until the middle of June so even if I get a job offer I won't get it because I am not a MS in Marriage & Family Therapy.
So of course I'm freaking out when I hear this, so I call my mom, she doesn't answer, I call her again no answer my roomie is working so not picking up phone. Finally get someone all I want is to be consoled & to be told my anger is justifiable. Which starts off as consoling then goes into I know how you feel.... Really you fucking know how I feel? this situation happened to you? Really??? So that is my rant... Yes I'm still fucking pissed and feel impotent in my rage being that I can't do anything until she comes back from India!

What I'm going through!

How I feel

What I'm doing: