Awesome Sam is awesome
Sammerton Highschool
I'm sleepy and fat. And i need to stop being the latter. But shit sleep leaves me with zero energy or motivation.
I hope everyone is well. And if the German visits in October i will be amazing.
Sammerton Highschool
I'm sleepy and fat. And i need to stop being the latter. But shit sleep leaves me with zero energy or motivation.
I hope everyone is well. And if the German visits in October i will be amazing.
briefly hung out with a fella that had liked me off and on since fucking high school, guess he was just looking for something to stick his dick in.
bummer, i was a bit into him. which leads me to almost believe i am not worth the time and effort that is needed to be with me. Countless exes have shown me that with the exception of one, And, i just came back form visiting him in CA on Thursday afternoon. We had only one huge fight and no hanky panky but was just so great to see him. I ended up staying longer than planned which kinda fueled the fight in that he wanted me to stay longer because he works eleven hours shifts six days a week and the one day he has off is the one day i actually get to work, so i'm trying to be mature and getting my shit together as best as i can.
i will be back with photos from the trip, there aren't as many as past trips there, but i yeah... is it too early for some wine??
bummer, i was a bit into him. which leads me to almost believe i am not worth the time and effort that is needed to be with me. Countless exes have shown me that with the exception of one, And, i just came back form visiting him in CA on Thursday afternoon. We had only one huge fight and no hanky panky but was just so great to see him. I ended up staying longer than planned which kinda fueled the fight in that he wanted me to stay longer because he works eleven hours shifts six days a week and the one day he has off is the one day i actually get to work, so i'm trying to be mature and getting my shit together as best as i can.
i will be back with photos from the trip, there aren't as many as past trips there, but i yeah... is it too early for some wine??
damn i had a rough few weeks between getting dumped, my dad's health, and wicked mega new antidepressant. I fucked up with the hard liquor and freaked out my dad and don't remember. like way emotional and shit. I honestly hadn't had depression symptoms that severe since high school, and even then it wasn't like it's been.
i've been at a decent weight though for my height i should be ten pounds lighter which is like aw man, if i could drop another four or six that'd be rad. Yes, i prefer even numbers.
Being thirty has sucked so far, ha! Tomorrow my sister and i are riding to boston with papa ump for a consultation for a surgery he's getting. it's like a standard procedure, or common, i think but there's more junk going on with his health so we're all like... in no thank you mode. I love my dad shit loads, anyone who knows me knows this...so i think i am stressing particularly hard.
i'm back on the meds i was on and got weened off of to go on the one that i just had too much shittiness with. I'm doing so much better.
i have a facebook and vent pretty much anything on there, it was surprising and really uplifting to see how many people were supportive and kind to me in regards to the break up. I' really didn't expect kai to be...so... i'm not even sure the right word, like shitbaggy about not responding to anything, because i wasn't a dick you know, i wasn't harsh or mean to him,
i'm sleepy.
i've been at a decent weight though for my height i should be ten pounds lighter which is like aw man, if i could drop another four or six that'd be rad. Yes, i prefer even numbers.
Being thirty has sucked so far, ha! Tomorrow my sister and i are riding to boston with papa ump for a consultation for a surgery he's getting. it's like a standard procedure, or common, i think but there's more junk going on with his health so we're all like... in no thank you mode. I love my dad shit loads, anyone who knows me knows this...so i think i am stressing particularly hard.
i'm back on the meds i was on and got weened off of to go on the one that i just had too much shittiness with. I'm doing so much better.
i have a facebook and vent pretty much anything on there, it was surprising and really uplifting to see how many people were supportive and kind to me in regards to the break up. I' really didn't expect kai to be...so... i'm not even sure the right word, like shitbaggy about not responding to anything, because i wasn't a dick you know, i wasn't harsh or mean to him,
i'm sleepy.
he's moved on it would seem
though he was anti posting too much deep stuff on his fb
but we had a mutual friend on it and he got tagged in a post from Kai
saying solute to drinks, music and ladies.
Fuck Kai, when you were holding my hand while singing happy birthday to me, was your mind somewhere else? A better dame, with better aspirations, less vices. I guess everything i was not Kai.
oh well right?
though he was anti posting too much deep stuff on his fb
but we had a mutual friend on it and he got tagged in a post from Kai
saying solute to drinks, music and ladies.
Fuck Kai, when you were holding my hand while singing happy birthday to me, was your mind somewhere else? A better dame, with better aspirations, less vices. I guess everything i was not Kai.
oh well right?
feeling was right. got broken up with. he wouldn't write back to anything else. i don't like that. i wasn't like harsh or...you know aggressive or even passive aggressive i hope. oh spell check seems to be off.
cried much yesterday. ate a lot. puked up like half perhaps.
didn't drink yesterday. but am drinking wine now. i wish more than more it was vodka, this is mainly so i pass out.
i did not sleep at all last night which was shocking as i had slept for about forty minutes before that.
liife can be worse. what touched me most is that my dad was proud of me for giving this my all. basically the only time i ever truly apply myself and give my all in life is for fucking love. not what'd i'd prefer. no. i'm thirty, i live at home, with no license. i could be worse? i could also be better.
i wanted to be married to him because i got to be a silly ass, truly, in front of him. we clicked. he was in love with me at one point. But i guess that's how it starts. i have so many pictures of him.
Sam is not in coudle mode but wants me to guess what he wants. no thank you sam. i want to drink till i pass out but would prefer to just pass out. i've never that i can remember (shit memory) having NO sleep. went well. I am and always will be pleased that i am still so close to my ex. Not in the naughty way. We care deeply for eachother, Sucked as a couple.
The end...
cried much yesterday. ate a lot. puked up like half perhaps.
didn't drink yesterday. but am drinking wine now. i wish more than more it was vodka, this is mainly so i pass out.
i did not sleep at all last night which was shocking as i had slept for about forty minutes before that.
liife can be worse. what touched me most is that my dad was proud of me for giving this my all. basically the only time i ever truly apply myself and give my all in life is for fucking love. not what'd i'd prefer. no. i'm thirty, i live at home, with no license. i could be worse? i could also be better.
i wanted to be married to him because i got to be a silly ass, truly, in front of him. we clicked. he was in love with me at one point. But i guess that's how it starts. i have so many pictures of him.
Sam is not in coudle mode but wants me to guess what he wants. no thank you sam. i want to drink till i pass out but would prefer to just pass out. i've never that i can remember (shit memory) having NO sleep. went well. I am and always will be pleased that i am still so close to my ex. Not in the naughty way. We care deeply for eachother, Sucked as a couple.
The end...
